To envy the joy that football fans feel? (For example) I don't think I feel 'ecstatic' about anything

[CoffeeAddictionUnderway]

Just watched DH absolutely beside himself because his football team won some 'important' match.

My feeling - envy. Envy that he and all the fans on the TV seemed so utterly consumed with joy.

I honestly don't think I ever feel like this. I actually googled once to see if I had inadequate dopamine receptors .

AIBU to feel envious (not of the football...just the joy)? What can I do to bring more joy to my life? What brings you joy?

(Unfortunately, we're having fertility issues and not managed to have children to date, so if your answers could maybe avoid things involving finding joy in your kids just to humour me that would be great - or I might start to feel really depressed!).

It's rugby league for me, and I've had highs and lows, but winning a final and that shared joy is an amazing feeling!

Love concerts too, you can't beat seeing your favourite artist live. I saw Mumford and sons last year and I've been suffering with anxiety and depression, and I felt so elated and high for the evening, it was amazing!

What interests you? I recently learnt to crochet and love the feeling of finishing a project.

Destiny I already do one and a half of the things you mentioned. I volunteer a couple of hours a week for a charity and while I do enjoy it, it definitely doesn't have me sobbing and grabbing strangers for bear hugs.

Only read the op, but i sometimes envy people their faith, the sense of community and the comfort and guidance it brings them. Then i remember that i like Sunday lie ins and am not sure I'd be prepared to put the effort in.

Littlemiss Funnily enough, music did used to be my one passion I think. In my teens I went to gigs constantly. Followed some bands up and flag the country even.

Now I'm pushing 40 though and life is decidedly more beige. (And of course being such an old timer...I don't know who anyone is anymore!)

I actually also tried crochet, funnily enough. But was sadly a bit rubbish at it. (Sorry, sounding Eeyore-ish now.)

Cat I totally know what you mean. I've envied people with faith too before! (And am also terrible in the morning.)

Last year I was in tatters thinking we weren't going to make it into the POs, crying and feeling so crushed but at the last minute we did. It was glorious.

I bounce up and down on my toes when I remember that it's Thursday and Line of Duty is on in less than 12 hours. The anticipation is positively ecstatic, and it always lives up to expectations.

Orda maybe I do just need to start paying attention when the footy's on.

Yes I just had to google Line of Duty. I think I used to feel that way about 24 (circa 2002).

Yes, watch an important match with a fan. The excitement really is infectious.

You want this song OP. is that all there is?

I love football, but sadly support a team that doesn't win an awful lot - so not a great source of joy - although I suppose I get more excited on the odd occasion we do win

I can't help breaking out into a big cheesy grin when I come into the house after the cleaner has been - that gives me a lot of joy, without having to have all the depressing times you get through following a sports team.

Brilliant 7

Ha now a cleaner would indeed bring me joy! Good thinking

I prefer rugby however, the joy st being at a football match, when you get an injury time winner is like nothing else & I have 2 children. On the downside the losses, when it works against you are mirrored

I am a Foxes fan albeit a pretty lazy one. Ds (16) however is very passionate about them, seeing his joy after years of despair is sort of wonderful. I need to find something to reignite similar passion in me, I am envious that he finds such emotion (joy and despair in equal measures but still stays true to them) and I need to do the same. For me. Outside of children etc.

Dh supports his team like a religion. The players move wherever the money is, so I just don't get his loyalty at all. In fact I think it sometimes replaces religion for some people!

oh thats sad op

im Bipolar and can get a real high from daft things,music,having a clean home

i just go into over drive and full speed ahead

but the flip side is crashing low''s

i hope you find a happy medium

I get giddy when I watch my greyhound run and when my son plays guitar and keyboard in his band. Football leaves me cold.

Maybe taking up a hobby? I tap dance and run when I don't have a newborn and performing/running races gives me that sort of feeling. What job do you do? I also find my career can give me those sorts of moments too - obviously there are some downsides but overall I find it immensely satisfying and get those 'ecstatic' moments when something I have worked hard at goes well.

I always say that one of the best feelings in the world is when the ball hits the back of the net (as long as it's my team that's scored). I regularly go to matches with my 15 year old son and it's addictive (and bloody expensive).

My son still laughs about when a supporter in the row in front of us hugged him earlier this season when we scored against our biggest rivals.

When I was depressed I considered seriously getting interested in football to give me something to give a shit about (observing the same reactions as you, OP) but I didn't because it seemed so artificial, I knew I could never really care about it just by trying; and if I did somehow manage to, I would have to cope with the equally crushing disappointments (as others have pointed out).

I do think it is interesting and strange how people can feel so passionately and sincerely about things that essentially have nothing to do with them. And yet - it must be because they don't feel it as nothing to do with them. they call their team "us" and "we" - "we should never have substituted player x" for instance - they actually think they are involved. Odd.

WhoKnows That's a good point. Tickets aren't often available on general sale for the team I support but they were for a game on a cold night in February so we took my football hating husband with us and he really got into it

Are you my ds, OP?

The whole rest of the family have things we get seriously excited about (me- my work, outdoors, my hobby; dd- her AmDram and any theatre going, dh-his painting, outdoors), but ds has just spent an entire Easter holiday doing not very much at all (despite numerous invitations), and at the end of it muttered that he might as well go back to school because this was a bit boring. And for the record, he isn't particularly interested in school work either. He is not depressed or unhappy; he just isn't very interested either. I am never sure if it is his personality or if one day he will find something that really, really does it for him.

Unless you support a successful club the default position for football fans is disappointment. I'm a Ipswich fan....

I make cakes, actually dont really like baking but I love cake decorating. Its just a hobby as I work full time so dont make money from it but my joy comes form creating a truly personal cake for someone and seeing their reaction, and feeling you have made someone else really happy. Thats a good joyous feeling!