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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be posed off re: this letter about DS's attendance (another not attend parenting class)

29 replies

HackerFucker22 · 12/04/2016 16:48

Got a letter today and as DS only has 92% attendance I have been invited to attend a parenting 'attendance and punctuality' class. Letter read along the lines of "as a school we are striving to keep attendance at 96% and your child falls below this"

All fine except DS is 3.6yo, in preschool and has only just gone full time (he got a FT place end of January but shouldn't be FT until September). The killer us being in the preschool doesn't guarantee him a place in the actual school. Sadly school is very oversubscribed and I am doubtful he'll get a place past few years even siblings have been on the waiting list

The letter was addressed to me (well "parent of baby hackerfucker22") so it wasn't a standard letter.

Am I right to be pissed off that we're being pulled up on attendance when he isn't even at the school and unlikely to get a place. Why should his good attendance benefit the school he won't even be able to attend?

He had a whole week off in late January due to a virus was far too ill to attend school, temperature on and off for 5 days, vomiting etc and another 2 days due to a cough / cold. The teacher recommended he didn't come in as he 'wasn't himself and seemed off colour'

OP posts:
Original poster
HackerFucker22 · 12/04/2016 16:49

Obviously title should read 'pissed' off?

OP posts:
almostthirty · 12/04/2016 16:50

Definitely. It is not compulsory for him to attend !

MummaV · 12/04/2016 16:52

His attendance isn't compulsory so not sure exactly what they aim to achieve with that?

SweetAdeline · 12/04/2016 16:54

I think you'll be having a lucky escape if he doesn't get a place at the school! It's ridiculous.

pointythings · 12/04/2016 16:57

Nope, YANBU. I'm Shock at this obsessiveness and I'd be utterly hacked off. Especially at the implication that your DS' absence is somehow due to your poor parenting when the poor thing was ill. This is not a school I would want a child of mine to attend...

Mishaps · 12/04/2016 16:57

I know what is behind this. The government set an attendance target for schools and if they fall below these they get marked down on their OfSted. Crass rules lead to crass behaviour.

Ignore it. "a parenting 'attendance and punctuality' class." FFS - how bloody patronising! - you have rights over your child, and the right to be treated like an intelligent adult who knows when their child is too ill for school. He is not even school age! I despair.

MrsDeVere · 12/04/2016 17:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
HackerFucker22 · 12/04/2016 17:18

Sorry realised there was another typo in my title. Phone has a mind of its own.

I will mention it to teacher tomorrow (preschool staff are lovely) and I'm sure they'll reassure me they have no concerns but I think it's a bloody cheek.

If they could guarantee me a place at the school then fair enough!!

Of course all the illnesses DS has had have come from preschool anyway.

OP posts:
AugustaFinkNottle · 12/04/2016 17:28

It's almost worth going to the stupid class just to ask them precisely what parenting failure they allege led to your child picking up bugs from their pre-school, and exactly what you could have done to avoid it.

Ninjagogo · 12/04/2016 17:30

Shock even my local primary school does not enforce attendance in nursery or reception and they are very keen on attendance generally. I would not go and explain why!

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 12/04/2016 17:32

I have been invited to attend a parenting attendance and punctuality class

Please go and be late Grin

Seriously, it's just the BS government targets, don't let it wind you up.

BirthdayBetty · 12/04/2016 17:33

That's bonkers!

OurBlanche · 12/04/2016 17:34

I'd go, just to be obnoxious and ask difficult questions, like those Augusta suggested Smile

cricketballs · 12/04/2016 17:36

It is a standard letter (mail merge) and will be sent to every child below OFSTED's magic 95%. Schools have to be seen addressing attendance for every child no matter the issues

OFSTED and DfE are the ones to be angry with

BrandNewAndImproved · 12/04/2016 17:40

Wow.

When my dc were at nursery/pre school o regularly took them out and to the zoo instead. When I would ring and say dd isn't coming today as we're off to the zoo all they would say is fab have a lovely day and see you tomorrow!

slkk · 12/04/2016 17:42

Pre school attendance figures shouldn't even be relevant to ofsted's targets. Enjoy this year and try to get away out of school holidays again if I were you.

Spandexpants007 · 12/04/2016 17:45

Shocking!!! What a joke

MadamDeathstare · 12/04/2016 17:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spandexpants007 · 12/04/2016 17:46

By law your child doesn't have to be in school till the term after their fith birthday

JoffreyBaratheon · 12/04/2016 17:46

It's a new, presumably tory thing. I've had The Letters (without the condescending threat of parenting class) for both my 13 and 15 year olds. They have only been absent for orthodontist appointments and a couple of sickness bugs. Apparently there is no such thing as an 'authorised absence' any more. Or rather, according to the school admin's doublespeak "Yes, they are authorised absences but they are still absences".

Had a text about a routine dental check up on my phone for 15 year old today. They said if you are NHS you now have to prove you're exempt from paying fees when you attend - or you wil pay there and then. "New government regulations", apparently.

I think this frankly nuts to start with government has gone even more apeshit.

My older kids often had 100% attendance year in year out, same school. So they know I'm not a crap parent. Or they should. So basically, they can go swivel if they think going to the ortho is evil, now. We aren't all rich enough to go private and get evening/weekend appointments.

PhoenixReisling · 12/04/2016 17:50

He's not satuatory school age, until the term after he is five and by law does not need to even attend preschool/school until then.

If you can be arsed, I would be write a letter to the headteacher/manager stating this and saying that you will not be attending any parenting classes any do not expect any letters in regards to this in future.

then burn the letter or take delight in using it for target practice

womdering · 12/04/2016 17:56

Hahaha
Laughing at suggestion of 'Go -and be late!'
I like her style.
What a load of baloney.
Honestly! If see your lovely staff and ask them to pass the letter back to the administrator who sent it to you.
Pop a post-it slapped across the front and in an envelope stating taut your child was ill and you'd been advised not to come in until they were clear of obvious sickness and diarrhoea (specify the days noted in their policy for each).
Add to that the fact that your child is under 5.
Such tosh

Mistigri · 12/04/2016 17:56

OFSTED and DfE are the ones to be angry with

Parents have precisely zero influence over OFSTED and DfE policies. They can influence the way that those policies are applied by their school, though.

I would be outraged in the OP's situation - probably cross enough to show up at the meeting and make a fuss. We're talking about a 3 year old who was genuinely unwell - no "government policy" excuses this sort of crap.

ArmfulOfRoses · 12/04/2016 17:59

I accidentally failed to attend a meeting at the school about my children's attendance a couple of years ago Grin

TimeOfGlass · 12/04/2016 18:08

Do OFSTED really mark schools down if pre-schoolers have poor attendance?
When none of the kids in that class are of compulsory school age?

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