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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to believe a child should not be left in pain screaming for 4 days??

108 replies

jaabaar · 12/04/2016 06:16

Hi

My 6 year old son had to wait 11 months for an appointment to fill a tiny hole. Well after 11 months little hole is a bit of a bigger problem.

Appointment is Friday morning. Since Saturday evening severe toothache. On max dose of panadol and ibuprofene. Does not help. Went Monday morning dentist emergency appointment. They said I just have to wait till Friday app in hospital. They can't give any other pain relief.
Night was so terrible. Screaming with pain begging me to help her.

Third night and day of not sleeping and on of pain.

Called 111 they can't help. Called dentist they can't help. Called hospital. They say u have to wait.

Why if I have to wait can't they help with pain??????????????

Am I being unreasonable to believe it's torture to leave a child in terrible pain for 4 days and nights??

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/04/2016 10:22

I see why Mrs Morton feels the way she does, having sat outside room while a 3 year old screamed as she was having all her teeth extracted.

Mrsmorton · 12/04/2016 10:27

fanjo thanks and fireside Smile squashy I don't care if you don't believe me. Anecdote doesn't make data. Data says sugar causes decay.

Backingvocals · 12/04/2016 10:36

Well "threads like this" - it's actually about this one child. Virtually no other children are referenced.

Of course you are the expert and no doubt sugar is bad for teeth. I don't doubt that. But your post didn't seem very helpful to the OP. And it's perfectly clear in all areas of medicine that some bodies react better than others to certain substances and we don't really know why.

I don't have an axe to grind here - I have good teeth (despite having a bit of sugar in my diet and certainly having a lot as a child) and so do my children (they don't have fizzy drinks or juice but they do have sweets now and again). My colleague who is literally obsessive about tooth health has a little girl who has had 5 fillings - and they have a much, much better diet than us. She sobbed her heart out about it as she felt she had let her little girl down despite the fact that she'd done absolutely nothing wrong - her focus on diet and dental hygiene puts me to shame.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/04/2016 10:38

its not like mrsmorton has done a degree and years of training and working as a dentist or anything Hmm

Backingvocals · 12/04/2016 10:46

I'm sure she has. That doesn't help the OP whose child is screaming in pain to get that resolved. We don't know if sugary drinks were a cause. They may have been but we also all know of tooth problems caused by things other than excessive sugar. And even if that was the cause in this case, it doesn't help the OP now.

I'm sure we're all happy to be reminded that sugary drinks have no place in a child's diet - apart from special occasions maybe. But not when we are desperately looking for help for a sobbing child.

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 12/04/2016 10:48

My dentist told me that some children's/people's teeth are more susceptible to decay than others - and that tooth shape has a lot to do it, as well enamel. People with 'flatter' surfaced molars are less susceptible, because less food becomes trapped in there.

I have terrible teeth - mouthful of crowns and fillings (thankfully now all white) because I was lapse about teeth-brushing as a child. As a result I am very strict on my dc's brushing/sugar intake - but my middle child has had a filling (which made me Blush ). Other two have perfect teeth. But then, if I'm honest - middle child probably does have the sweetest tooth of them all.

Dentist told me that sweet things between meals was the worst thing - if they have sweets, let them have them after a meal. I don't give mine fizzy/sugary drinks - so no doubt avoided the lecture there!

One of my DD's friends had 6 teeth removed under anaesthetic - she does eat an awful lot of sweets though, and DD she doesn't brush her teeth Sad

Sorry that's so long! OP - I hope you manage to resolve this quickly.

Squashybanana · 12/04/2016 10:49

I don'tdisagree with mrs merton's point that sugar causes decay. I disagree that parents like me who have a child with cavities deserve (her words) to be 'actively disliked' and the assumption that all teeth respond identically to sugar so if your child has decay this means you have fed more sugar and been more feckless than the next parent. I am sick of head tilts and the lecture about fizzy drinks and clearly not being believed. The last dentist said 'no more sweeties every day' ffs. He has sweets extremely rarely and never chocolate, which he doesn't like. I have no doubt that some parents are ignorant of tooth hygiene. But being disliked and considered feckless when you know all the facts and are trying your hardest is should destroying. And fanjo just because you have studied something doesn't mean you are above reproach. As you well know. I am an Ed Psych and in my initial training I was taught that eye contact is a key marker for autism and that good eye contact means no autism. Luckily I have developed my thinking since then.

Fiona80 · 12/04/2016 10:49

I would just go privàte if no one else is willing to help, I would not have my child in so much pain.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/04/2016 10:54

she said over 90% of decay is preventable, not 100%

Mousefinkle · 12/04/2016 10:55

I'm more susceptible to decay because my molars have a curved surface so bacteria and food debris is more inclined to get trapped in there so I have to work extra hard to clean them to avoid decay. I don't drink fizzy drinks anymore, quit two years ago. I do eat a lot of fruit but other than that, limited sugar. I still need a filling again next month . Some people's teeth are just that way inclined, sadly. Although of course diet and poor oral hygeine are big issues, won't deny that.

Anyway I suggest calling the dentist again, with your DD screaming in the background (if she's stopped screaming put the video on, yes I mean that) start crying on the phone, explain how distressed she clearly is and how no pain relief is working and she needs to be seen NOW. They'll fit you in, if they have a heart.

Backingvocals · 12/04/2016 10:56

before people pile on and talk about "weak enamel"... Bullshit. Sugar sugar sugar sugar

Other causes are bullshit.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/04/2016 10:56

fruit has sugar though

Cinderbloom · 12/04/2016 11:00

Squashy I know how you feel. My child has autism and refused sweets, fruit juice, chocolate and fizzy drinks completely. He also refused meat, eggs, cheese and fish so drank a lot of milk. It damaged some of his baby teeth but kept him alive and growing for six years. What are you supposed to do when your child desperately needs calories and is screaming with hunger?

The group I belonged to at the time had children who were denied that milk. Didn't magically start them all eating proper food but they did end up severely underweight and suffering from other health problems.

Hope you get a resolution OP Flowers

Squashybanana · 12/04/2016 11:03

Sugar causes decay- agreed.

Teeth react identically so if you have decay you have certainly been fed fizzy drinks and sweets by an idiotic parent who should be 'actively disliked' by the dentist- disagree.

Dragongirl10 · 12/04/2016 11:05

When my 7yr old had an extremely painful tooth, l took her the same day to a local private dentist down the road who took out the tooth, (damaged from a bash the week before) Pain was mostly gone within an hour. Bit sore for rest of the day then fine.

Can you not do something similar or is there some reason or complication why he has to go to a special unit?

Antanddec123 · 12/04/2016 11:11

You need to ring your dentist, your child needs another emergency appointment TODAY. The tooth may have not been infected yesterday but may be infected today. The clinical situation can change within 24hours.Sounds as if an extraction will be necessary with that pain history.
Also, there is nothing to stop your own dentist ringing the hospital and asking for urgent help, much more likely to get somewhere this way.
Agree that OP needs prevention/ dental health education, but that is not the priority at present.

ReallyTired · 12/04/2016 12:02

There is lots of hidden sugar. Snacking on grapes can harm the teeth. As parents we need to take a serious look at ourselves if our children have tooth decay. It is not our children who pay for the shopping at the supermarket. A parent who has a small child with tooth decay should be deeply ashamed in the majority of cases.

My son never had fizzy drinks. He just had too many healthy snacks. Acid is acid and bacteria are just as happy to feast on posh food as Coca Cola.

The private practice my children belong to charge a set amount per month irrespective of the treatment our children need. As a result it's really in their interest to avoid tooth decay in the first place. A lot of the things they do don't cost a lot of money. I think it's a pity that NHS dental practices don't provide a dental nurse to teach basic dental education.

ReallyTired · 12/04/2016 12:04

Incidentally ds at the age of 14 now had perfect teeth. He doesn't have a single filling in his mouth. It is possible to turn things around.

ouryve · 12/04/2016 12:11

Regarding painkillers, if you have an appointment to get it seen to, ie an end is in sight, you can alternate paracetamol and ibuprofen up to the maximum dose quite safely for a few days.

Natsku · 12/04/2016 12:31

Call all the local dentists and beg for an emergency appointment. I had horrible sudden tooth pain when I was 13 and had just moved to a new area and wasn't even registered with a dentist yet but mum phoned and begged and got me an appointment that day for it to be pulled out.

BarbarianMum · 12/04/2016 12:31

It isn't just about sugar. Lot of ongoing research at the moment looking at the bacterial assembledges people have in their mouths. Guess what? There is wide variation. So some of us have mouths hostile to decay producing bacteria and some of us have mouths that are the perfect home for them. If you are part of the latter group then sugar is far worse news for you than someone from the former.

differentnameforthis · 12/04/2016 12:35

Why did you have to be referred for a filling Imo, (ex dental nurse) it's because the dentist has no patience for working on children! It's crap.

whois · 12/04/2016 12:39

Call all the local dentists and beg for an emergency appointment

Yup most dentists will sort you out with an emergency appointment. If you can afford it, it will probably be easier to get an appointment if you pay privately.

Sugar causes decay - however it isn't the full picture. My DP eats no added sugar. Doesn;t really eat fruit. Brushes with an electric brush and flosses 2x per day. Uses mouthwash after lunch at work. Doesn;t snack. Doesn't have fizzy drinks. Only drinks water actulaly. Only occasionally drinks alcohol, like 1x per week. He keeps on getting decay and has teeth crumbling, whilst being complimented by the dentist and hygienist on his oral hygiene.

Antanddec123 · 12/04/2016 12:40

**differentnameforthis-

Antanddec123 · 12/04/2016 12:52

PP -behavioural/co-operation problems are the reason for most child dental referrals from General Dental Practice to hospital or community dental services.
Agree there are some general dentists who don't like treating children but usually most would try to treat, if cooperation permitted safe treatment.
11months seems an unusually long time to wait for specialist dental referral; If I was the OP, I would be wanting to know when that referral was received by the hospital.