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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to believe a child should not be left in pain screaming for 4 days??

108 replies

jaabaar · 12/04/2016 06:16

My 6 year old son had to wait 11 months for an appointment to fill a tiny hole. Well after 11 months little hole is a bit of a bigger problem.

Appointment is Friday morning. Since Saturday evening severe toothache. On max dose of panadol and ibuprofene. Does not help. Went Monday morning dentist emergency appointment. They said I just have to wait till Friday app in hospital. They can't give any other pain relief.
Night was so terrible. Screaming with pain begging me to help her.

Third night and day of not sleeping and on of pain.

Called 111 they can't help. Called dentist they can't help. Called hospital. They say u have to wait.

Why if I have to wait can't they help with pain??????????????

Am I being unreasonable to believe it's torture to leave a child in terrible pain for 4 days and nights??

OP posts:

firesidechat · 12/04/2016 09:13

And uses "her" too and has a daughter aged 6 on other threads. No mention of a son though, but I may have missed it.

ridingabike · 12/04/2016 09:14

If you are screaming in pain A&E is NOT an overreaction.

However, I'm also wondering why they didn't do it at the dentists. Assume it was because of ASD?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/04/2016 09:15

it is an overreaction as it is not an emergency but needs emergency dental treatment.

firesidechat · 12/04/2016 09:19

Screaming with pain begging me to help her.

Dentist saw her when she had a good few minutes so maybe didn't believe me. Have taken videos of him screaming just to show gp.

*I really wonder why the dentist didn't put her a temporary feeling sad

I'm absolutely not saying the op is a troll, but I don't understand why the op felt it was necessary to do this.

bakeoffcake · 12/04/2016 09:23

You'd be better off going to your dentist and sitting there until your child gets help rather than A&E. That's what I'd do.

Alexa444 · 12/04/2016 09:24

Adults can tolerate painkillers which would damage a child. They won't do that. I don't understand why they won't fill or extract it in the surgery if he will keep still for it? Just ring the dentist back and tell him your child is crying all night with pain and can't eat anything. (Even if he can) Insist that he WILL sit still to have it done and ask them if any dentist is willing to at least try. If they won't do it, is the tooth a baby tooth? If so, ask them to extract it, if they won't fill it. His adult one will grow in quickly enough and at least he will be out of pain. Cry if you have to, the receptionists are often more sympathetic than the actual professionals. I understand why they won't give him more painkillers and I do understand why they don't want to treat him in the surgery when he is so young but surely being left in pain like this is far more traumatic? The thing with emergency dentist is to use key phrases when you ask them to do something. Say the pain is unbearable, can't eat or sleep. Things like that are generally the qualifiers for getting emergency treatment. (Can you tell I break a lot of teeth?)

If they do treat him you might want to prepare him for it beforehand. If he cries or freaks out at all they won't treat him, the emergency slots are short and often they are not trained to deal with children flipping out.

Explain the needle will look big but has to be long so it can reach. Tell him it's because some people have big mouths. Tell him it will feel like a sharp scratch but to count to ten and it will be over. Tell him the drill will be very loud and buzzy but won't hurt him and they will prod and pull him a lot but if he keeps nice and still all the pain will be gone when they leave. That is pretty much how I explained it to my 4 year old cousin when I had to take her. I do the dentist visits in this family because we all have massive phobias and my cousin cries at the sight of her little girl in the chair and it freaks littlecuz out. We really don't want the kids inheriting our phobias lol.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/04/2016 09:26

don't just sit at the dentists either. phone and let them fit him in at best time for you and them.

unless you fancy sitting and waiting for hours in surgery.

Spandexpants007 · 12/04/2016 09:28

Go down to the emergency dentist and sit in their waiting room. Tell them you are not leaving and will come down every day till they sort it out

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/04/2016 09:30

that is ridiculous.

just phone them and talk to them.

Alexa444 · 12/04/2016 09:30

I really think people need to stop advising A&E. They can't DO anything, they don't treat teeth, he would have as much luck as if OP took him to a vet especially if he is already maxed out on painkillers. Even if he is screaming with pain, they won't overdose him. Emergency dentist is the place to stage a sit in.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/04/2016 09:32

As a dental receptionist we don't fit people in quicker because they turn up and are PITAs. We just fit them in at a time when the dentist actually has time to see them, if they phone, and doesn't have to squeeze them in hurriedly or make them wait for hours.

And as for the key phrases..fine to use the words "unbearable pain" here as he is screaming in pain, but I get people saying that often and then they just have a tiny bit of pain once they see the dentist, who isn't impressed, and they have taken up appointments needed by people in real pain (NHS dentist). No need.

Not talking about here but the general advice to always use "key phrases" that goes around.

foreverandalways · 12/04/2016 09:32

Have you tried clove oil....not sure if suitable for her age so please check before using if doing so....I had the same after a wisdom tooth extraction years ago...I have never experienced pain like it..doc at hospital packed it with clove oil and the relief from pain was instant...she will be in unbearable pain bless her heart....make a stand and refuse to leave the dentist..should be priority X

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/04/2016 09:32

staging a sit in is NOT necessary.

firesidechat · 12/04/2016 09:32

Like others on here I wouldn't go to the gp or a and e. It's a dentist you need, any dentist who will do something now.

ReallyTired · 12/04/2016 09:33

Don't even mention needles to your child. If they know a needle is going to go into their mouth they will not cooperate.

It requires a very talented dentist to do work on a small child, but it's not impossible. If my child was in that level of pain I would ring around various dentists to find someone prepared to try.

Esmeismyhero · 12/04/2016 09:33

111 should never tell you to not go to a and e, it's your right to go where you choose, 111 can only advise.

A and e might be able to help with pain relief only, they won't be able to touch the tooth. It's all down to discretion of the dr on duty.

Hope your dd feels better soon.

Also 111 should be able to book you an emergency dental app (subject to NHS charges) xx

honkinghaddock · 12/04/2016 09:37

ridingabike - Op hasn't said her child has asd (I mentioned mine did )

honkinghaddock · 12/04/2016 09:42

Has your gp calculated the pain relief by your child's weight. If they haven't that might be worth looking at as it can mean a higher dose is possible than what it says on the bottle,

Mrsmorton · 12/04/2016 09:54

Threads like this demonstrate why I find it so entirely soul destroying to see people feed their children sugary drinks. Even as they walk out of the practice after a 20min conversation (for which NHS dentists don't get paid) about diet. It's fine to fuck your own teeth up by having a poor diet, it's unfair to do it to a child. And before people pile on and talk about "weak enamel"... Bullshit. Sugar sugar sugar sugar. Stephan curve...

As fanjo said, a "sit in" is not only unreasonable, it's unproductive.

Backingvocals · 12/04/2016 09:55

Did the OP say she fed her child sugary drinks?

Mrsmorton · 12/04/2016 10:00

Was I talking about the OP?

I'm a dentist and I actually actively dislike people who allow this to happen to their children. Well over 90% of dental pain is preventable.

It's a crusade of mine and I literally have no interest in who I offend along the way. We are letting our children down in this country. If you genuinely think that makes me a bad person then well done you, I just don't like seeing children in awful pain THAT IS PREVENTABLE.

ReallyTired · 12/04/2016 10:04

I think that many parents see the twenty minute conversation with the dentist as a telling off. They don't realise that the dentist is on their side.

I think that dental education is essential, but I am not sure it's necessarily productive or a good use of the dentist time. My son had a lot of tooth decay when he was younger. We changed to a private dentist to access treatments not available on the NHS. My children each have a 20 minute appointment with a dental hygienist every six months as well as a check up. She spends time telling them where they have missed bits with their brushing. My eldest has a scale and polish of his teeth. My children have also had fissure sealents on their adult teeth and fluoride gel on their teeth.

Diet is an important factor. The mistake that we made when my son was little was that he had too many snacks. Food like raisens eaten between meals are as damaging as sweets. Our dental hygienist had us keep a food diary for a week.

Mrsmorton · 12/04/2016 10:10

I think you're absolutely right really then of course there's the "baby teeth don't matter" thing

Squashybanana · 12/04/2016 10:16

Mrs Morton I don't believe you. I have 4 kids on the same diet, same brushing regime. I had no cavities till I was 21. 3 of my kids have no cavities. 1 has had about 7, including in his recently emerged adult teeth. I am sick of being patronised by the dentist about sugary drinks. He never drinks fizzy drinks. Sugar free squash occasionally. No fruit juice. No hot chocolate. Limited biscuits and snacks, the same as his siblings. He uses adult toothpaste and I supervise brushing. I buy mouthwash with flouride. Last time I said he uses mouthwash with flouride the dentist actually said that isn't a substitute for brushing, she clearly thought I meant instead of brushing. My mum and sister had terrible teeth (mum had hers extracted aged 21). My dad hasn't been to a dentist in 30 years and has no trouble at all. I simply don't believe dentists when they say all teeth are equal and that I am clearly neglecting only one of my children's dental health whilst managing the other 3 brilliantly.

firesidechat · 12/04/2016 10:18

Do children have lessons in tooth brushing these days?

When I was about 9 or 10 we had a mobile van come to the school and they taught us how to brush our teeth properly. It made a huge impression on me and I've always made a big deal of oral hygiene.

I had sugary drinks as a child and had quite a few fillings, my children rarely had sugary drinks (they had water, milk and the occasional diluted fruit juice) and only one has had a filling and that was as an adult and after 2 pregnancies.

I'm not at all saying the the problems the op is experiencing is down to any failings on her part. Sometimes it is just bad luck, but Mrsmorton's point is worth making again.

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