Hi WonderingNotLost,
I totally empathise with your situation and although this is an old thread I am compelled to make some comments in case others come across this thread when they're suffering the same problem.
Firstly, I am sorry that you had to endure pompous, rude and ridiculously unhelpful advice from users like ShtoppenDerFloppen. (Actually, she's lucky I am not her line manager as rude, dismissive people would not be welcome in my team). Just because you were new to the job does not mean your needs for a stress-free workplace are any less important and should be dismissed. On the contrary, you are entitled to a work environment where you can enjoy relative peace. I, too, endure a phlegm machine at work and it's absolutely disgusting and hard to cope with at times. He loudly clears his throat 20-50 times a day. I feel stabby rage too and although I would never act on that rage, noone should be made to feel ashamed for those feelings.
Secondly, being subjected to a chorus of 'suck it up' is at best unhelpful, and at worst, just plain rude. Frankly, those bullies need to pull their head in. It's really hard on a person’s psychological wellbeing to hear someone's phlegm rumbling around constantly in a person's throat all day, every work day. At times, especially when I am eating or concentrating on a difficult task, it has been unbearable.
Thirdly, you are not alone. People in my area are absolutely sick of this guy's behaviour. I have seen people leave their work station in a huff as it gets too much at times. The people in his area are always taking action to accommodate and avoid HIS behaviour, instead of him talking action to accommodate the peace and wellbeing of those around him e.g. his behaviour gets worse when he eats, yet he insists on eating at his desk and making everyone else feel sick at lunchtimes.
Also, if you google this issue, you’ll see others in your position – you are not being unreasonable for having this problem.
Fourth, just because 'he can't help it', doesn't mean others haveto endure it. Someone mentioned their husband does it, so she just puts up with it. Well, if she chooses to do so, that's her prerogative. You are not confined to that same choice. However, in a work situation, it can get quite tricky, as HR and managers won't do much because they’re hamstrung by fair work laws etc, especially if the behaviour is due to a health issue (asthma, hayfever, allergy). It may be possible to request a move to another part of the office, but that's the best advice I can offer because, like you, I am stuck in a bad situation and HR cannot assist.
I also think addressing this behavior with the person doesn't help. I know people in my area have commented politely to him, only to be ignored. He also always attributes it to a different cause: one days its his allergies, another day it's a cold and so on. Excuses, excuses...
So, although I cannot offer a solution, I can certainly offer you some empathy and understanding, unlike some of the others on this thread.