To throttle my colleague who never stops clearing his throat?

[WanderingNotLost]

From 9 in the morning til 6 in the evening, several times a minute my colleague coughs/clears his throat. It's sort of a vocal 'hah-hah-hum' type of thing as opposed to a regular cough. He sits opposite me (with computer monitors in between) so he's about 5 feet away and doesn't cover his mouth, so I hear it loud and clear every time and it's starting to give me stabby rage. I've only been here two weeks

All those people giving the OP a hard time, please just google Misophonia, please. You're (quite rightly) clearly very sympathetic of the other person in the office as it's thought he may have tics, however please extend your compassion to try to understand the hell that is Misophonia. ( I'm absolutely sure the OP is on the scale). It's a disorder, if OP has it, equally she cannot "help it"

We don't need a disorder to find compassion? Or do we?

Misophonia is not recognised by the DSM anyway. But even if it was....

I have a colleague that does this, he has some sort of ENT problem. There are no winners.

I didn't record the noise to make fun of him, I recorded it to prove to my DP that I wasn't exaggerating the issue. I played it to him, he went "yeah, that'd drive me nuts". I've now deleted it. I have no desire to keep it, I hear it enough during the day!

As I said earlier, I've not said anything to my colleague about it and I don't intend to. I do hold to my point that if it is the result of a reflux or other medical issue he could at the very least cover or close his mouth to minimise the noise. But he doesn't.

We're a relatively small office so there's not a wealth of available desks for me to move to. HR are located in a different office on a different continent, and our Ops manager is currently on sabbatical and off travelling somewhere.

The people suggesting misophonia may well be right, and thanks for the sympathy!

Blood pressure tablets make me have a constant tickly throat and cough. it was pointed out to me by my pharmacist.

Alicescarlett be thankful you (clearly) do not suffer from it, not in DSM you say. Oh that's alright then, I and the other millions of people who have it were what, making it up, imagined it? Are you equally unforgiving about Autism, Aspergers, Tourette's, no didn't think so. Educate yourself, please

It sounds more like a tic - that can't just be cured or stopped no matter how much the person wants to.

I have a lot of sympathy for people with misophonia and I really hope they can work with their employers to find an accommodation which works for them.

What I don't like however is the Mumsnet habit of using misophonia as an excuse for dickish bullying behaviour. I see this constantly on MN, threats or imaginings of violence, secret recordings, horrible comments. Not okay. Not even if someone suffers from a disorder. It's really, really unpleasant.

I do this when my asthma is playing up

I have really bad misophonia so I sympathise!

(And sorry OP, that wasn't aimed at you, more at the people who tend to come on these threads and egg misophonia sufferers on).

Billy, if that's aimed at me , if you sympathise with sufferers you would know imagining of violence is one of the aspects of the disorder. And nothing anywhere I've said is egging anyone one? Read my posts again, I'm sympathising with Op because she's getting a hard time due to total lack of understanding.

Putting a label on hating noise doesn't make me anymore sympathetic really. How does the arm chair diagnosis work then? Anyone that hates noisy people has misophonia? You're not really helping people take the disorder seriously With that attitude

From those who don't get it, obviously there are a few who do on here

There are potentially treatable causes for this, but of course you are not his medical adviser. Raise it with a line manager with the request that they consider asking him to get a medical review (he should see GP, hopefully the GP will recommend something like ENT and depending on what they find maybe speech therapy), use headphones and try to rise above it.

I do this. It is embarrassing and no amount of ridicule, chats, criticism, will change it. I sometimes do it in shops and people apologies, thinking I am trying to point out that they are in my way or something. It must be some kind of reflex I suppose.

I can't believe some people are suggesting sending him for a medical - just appalling.

And recording it, for whatever reason is disgraceful behaviour. Op you should be ashamed of yourself.

Flossy there are medical causes for this though?

How do you know Annadale? The assumptions on this thread are staggering and as for recommending he is sent for a medical- do you live in the real world? You know that people don't get "sent" for medicals because they're annoying their collegues surely?

I don't think I have misophonia but I would not be able to work in the circumstances you describe op (someone clearing their throat next to me three times in 50 seconds) and I sincerely hope something can be done to accommodate you.

As for "making recordings to make fun of someone - that's just bullying" - what a pathetically desperate attempt to accuse op of something nasty, conjured up out of thin air.

Alicescarlett be thankful you (clearly) do not suffer from it, not in DSM you say. Oh that's alright then, I and the other millions of people who have it were what, making it up, imagined it? Are you equally unforgiving about Autism, Aspergers, Tourette's, no didn't think so. Educate yourself, please

I do want to claw my face off when my colleague coughs, so I do understand, but I'm not going to self diagnosis myself with something not yet recognised as a disorder.
But yes I think people with ASD are imagining it...that's exactly what I said

I'd quite like to see educate yourself on the criticisms of the medical model of the 'human condition' and maybe on the construction of a logical argument.

Bobbity-

Just to check your view here.

The OP is annoyed by throat clearing. It's annoying but humans are, actually, allowed to do what the fancy within reason.
Part of emotional maturity is recognising that everyone is different and you can't control the world and have them live by your wants and desires.
This is not anti social- it is not affecting work (unless the OP is letting it, which is her problem to sort out) neither is it detrimental to the working environment.

If you recorded this and brought it to me as a line manager expecting to have the person in question spoken to/ moved/ medically checked out I would tell you to concentrate on your own work and label you in my head as a potential petty trouble maker. In a probation period this would not be a good impression.

I think we've all encountered people who expect the work place to be operated in a way that suits them and moans about all and sundry. They are a drain and a distraction and take lots of management time and yes, ultimately they are often bullies. Absolutely one to look out for.

Recording someone's behaviour is always, on the face of it, sneaky and spiteful, because you intend to "tell on them" and use orcas evidence without presumably, giving them any opportunity to be aware of the problem and suggest solutions. That's why people see it as nasty, bullying behaviour.

You don't see any of that?

It would drive me to distraction too OP. You absolutely have my sympathies.

Buckinbronco

1. op recorded it to demonstrate to her husband what she was putting up with

1. would you like to work 5 feet away from someone noisily sniffing and clearing their throat with their mouth open several times per minute?

Don't record your colleagues. If I found out you had recorded me even for "personal use" I would initiate a grievance against you.