To think it was not my DM's place to comment?

[crunchymummy]

Ok so after having DS by EMCS, me and DS were in hospital for three days. DP and DM took turns staying with me during the night and both DM and DP visited me every single day and spent as much time as possible with me, DM even took annual leave to be there and drove the 4 hour journey between where I live and where she lives. When it came to the day we were discharged DM had just spent the night with me and DS and we weren't expecting to be discharged on that day so it came as a surprise, I told DP who was very pleased we were coming home. DP doesn't drive so the original plan was that DP would catch a ride with his mum and dad who were visiting me at 1pm and DP would then stay on the night, but we were discharged at 11am so obviously no visit from DP's mum and dad at 1pm. My DM can drive and the obvious answer to me and DP was that DM would drive me and DS home and stay the night round at my house but DM was not happy with this and thought that DP should get taxi or catch a lift of someone because he should see me and DS come out of hospital, this was her idea as I was MORE than happy at DP staying at home and making sure everything was clean and tidy for our arrival back home. DM commented to say, "I can't believe he's not going to see his son out of hospital." and rolled her eyes, it doesn't sound more than an innocent comment but the tone she said it was implied that DP was lazy and a bad father for not being there, when both me and DP were perfectly happy with the arrangement of I come home with my DM (we were discharged and could leave straight away) rather than DP catch taxi, catch a lift of someone, as DM would have to drive back to ours anyway, and DP stay home and make sure everything looks good.

• AIBU to have told DM that it is not her place to comment?

Can't understand the big deal about "bringing baby home from the hospital" ?? unless you have loads of people to cheer you out the door in reality it's just you guys with baby in a car seat trying to relocate your car in an NHS car park - no glam or Kate Middleon type photo op!

I also didnt realise it was a 'thing' to do this. I guess it mostly happens, but without much thought.

If the op was upset or distressed by the dad not coming then fair enough.

But she was not, both parents talked about it and agreed together that for them it was not important.

Plenty of people make other arangements to get home ive known mothers have friends/their parents/neighbours/their siblings/other church members/make their own way, all sorts of different people bring them home.it only matters to the parents and all of them have the ability to decide what they are comfortable with.
To some people that journey home is not much of a big deal, I know if it was me I would be a bit eyebrow raisey about someone insisting I needed someone to make a special trip to come and escort me home if I had someone else already their able to bring me

not sure where she was coming from. maybe not just that one thing? when my dd had an ECS i went by taxi and stayed during the days and her dh went for the overnights. I may have made a few comments before i learned it's better to shut your mouth when you dd has a baby.

Sorry, but I think YABU. Everyone I know leaves hospital with their DH or DP unless they don't have one or there's a really good reason for his absence. Your mum sounds lovely btw. Treasure her - they are not around forever. Miss mine every day.

Yanbu but I think your exhausted and probably so is your mother. Congratulations by the way
To those who said about people staying when I had my son there was loads of fathers staying.