To be mad at FIL for feeding my daughter meat?

[Fruitypebbles]

Hi, just joined the site to ask this.

We're vegans, and my daughter has been raised and weaned vegan. She's 5 and happily eats anything put in front of her. She's very healthy, not lacking in any vitamins or nutrients at all and is beautiful, happy and refuses to eat meat usually because she knows in child friendly terms why we are vegans.

Despite her health being perfectly fine (she rarely ever gets ill, let alone any deficiencies in iron and protein - there's plenty of protein in plants!) my FIL thinks we're evil. We've given him all the information, shown him exactly how much she gets in a normal day and he can see how healthy she is. He fed her a meat casserole, she obviously couldn't recognise the meat in the stew because we use meat subs occasionally. She was very, very sick after this as her body can't digest meat after never eating it. Why can't he just respect our choices to not eat animal products? AIBU?

[OurBlanche]

I was veggie for years... as pp have said, the first inkling that some meat had snuck into my diet was a weird, imperative to puke/poo. I am no longer veggie, but it took a few weeks/months of slow reintroduction to eat meat with no unfortunate incidents.

The human body may know how to be an omnivore but it needs a little bit of time to make the adjustment when adding animal protein and fats back in.

[AbernathysFringe]

I'd also add what Dear Prudence on Slate mag always says, that with in laws, it's the partner's job to sort out disputes!

[whois]

Coconut and chocolate truffle cake with pineapple

Omg looks divine!

[lorelei9here]

OurBlanche, bit cinfused by meat sneaking into your diet...

[HippyPottyMouth]

I'm vegetarian and so is my 2yo DD. She can choose to eat meat when she understands where it comes from. Right now she thinks eating animals is absurd and funny. I would be hopping mad if anyone gave her meat on purpose.

The occasional accidental haribo won't do her any harm; I don't give it to her, but I don't expect everyone else to check packets scrupulously. Equally, a bite of her cousin's ham sandwich had no ill-effects and was easily brushed off with 'that's Susie's, give it back, here's yours.'

[BertrandRussell]

"I have friends who were bought up on a meat eating diet and they have never fotgiven them for it. Their bodies now cant cope without it. One even cried, literally cried at a vegan dinner because they couldnt eat the food, they would have been sick, they needed meat."

Utter, utter bollocks. They would have been sick if they hadn't eaten meat? At what point was their body going to realize that the meal had no meat in it and cause them to throw up? Would a vegan starter have been OK so long as they ate some meat very quickly after that? Or did they have to start the meal with meat so their bodies could calm down about it.............?(

[FaFoutis]

It was a joke. To show how stupid the opposite view is.

[Believeitornot]

Surely having a vegan diet changes your gut flora so if you eat meat for the first time, you feel sick as you've not had it for a while? Then your body adjusts.

So those who are scoffing the idea of people being sick after eating meat, why are you scoffing it?

If I started eating a very rich diet, I'd feel sick and may even be sick until I got used to it.

[OurBlanche]

Lorelei I had some 'friends' who could never remember that veggie included not eating all sorts of meat, even bacon once!

But, for a few years, I was semi regularly fed dishes that had simply had the meat picked out of them. Poisonous SIL had a 'thing' about me making such a fuss, she fed me sausage casserole with the sausage picked out of my portion and a soup that she strained for me, it had originally had lumps of beef in it. You'd have thought she'd learn her lesson after the first time... I redecorated her downstairs loo and fainted, making me incapable of cleaning up

[catewood21]

I think you are an idiot.You have deliberately set out to make your child allergic to one of society's most common foods.

[SpeakNoWords]

Don't be so silly catewood. The OPs daughter isn't allergic to meat, she just had an upset stomach after eating it. Could be for a variety of reasons. It may be because her gut didn't have enough of the correct gut flora, but equally could have been something else.

Calling someone an idiot for having a different opinion to you about what diet to feed their child is really intolerant and ignorant.

[lorelei9here]

Blanche, you poor thing. What a horrible SIL.

[cleaty]

Your FIL is wrong. But I know someone brought up vegan who no longer wants to be as an adult, but can not eat meat without being sick. It seems unfair for a parent to effectively bring up their DCs so they can never eat meat.

[summerainbow]

I think this a free child care issue.
When child care free you don't get to dictate anything what the child eats when they sleep or they do together.
If you want dictate what a child eats when they sleep or what they do your hire and pay for nanny.
If you can't afford then you use a childminder. Where you might get a say in what they eat but that it.
Sometimes a nursery is easier and again you will get a say which diet they follow but that is it.

Just tell how ill it made her and leave it at that.

[PaperdollCartoon]

Summerrainbow that's truly insane! It's up to a parent what a child eats regardless of childcare payment.

[cleaty]

But is it right that a child is brought up so they can never eat meat? Surely we should be giving adult DCs choices.

[VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon]

I know lots of people who were raised vegetarian and literally none of them resent their parents for doing it. Maybe such people exist but I find it hard to believe. I was raised vegetarian and as such I have no wish to eat meat. You might as well suggest I eat car tyres or mud - it's just not a good source to me. I don't resent being raised that way, why would I?
I don't find it hard to believe that a vegan child would feel sick after eating meat. The type of fat and protein would be very different to anything she was used to, and would have sat very heavily in her stomach. Of course that's not the same as being allergic to meat if she wanted to persevere with meat then she would be able to.
My ds is vegetarian but has on several occasions eaten meat either because it was given unwittingly, or by choice (there is some rank looking processed stuff in his dad's country that apparently tastes like cheese) and it has never made him sick. He still eats 99.9999999% vegetarian so if it was a real thing he would probably have thrown up no?

[cleaty]

I think it depends on whether you develop the stomach enzymes to digest meat. The man I knew who could not eat meat as an adult although he wanted to, was raised vegan, not vegetarian.

[LeaLeander]

YANBU. I would no longer leave her in his care. And I'm a meat-eater.

[watchingthedetectives]

There is no scientific evidence to suggest that if you don't eat meat for a period of time you become allergic or are unable to tolerate it in the future

[ghostyslovesheep]

but plenty of evidence of the damage a diet high in meat can do ...

[cleaty]

There are lots of postings on the net for people who were brought up vegan, who can not eat meat as an adult without throwing up. Being vegetarian does not seem to cause any issues if you want to eat meat as an adult.

[bbpp]

What's the big deal if you can't eat meat? It's not necessary, it harms animals (although I don't believe meat even is inherently evil, it's clearly better not to), and since vegan diets are on the whole healthier than their omnivorous equivalent, isn't making a choice for your child which will lead them to be healthier adults... a good one?

I'm not even vegan or vegetarian.

[BagpussOhSagpuss]

Came back to say how nice it is to see a proper, reasoned discussion( well, mostly), then saw this

FlowersAndShit Sat 09-Apr-16 17:24:02
Vegetarians are a pain in the arse.

Followed immediately by

TheVeganVagina Sat 09-Apr-16 17:28:23
Making a child eat meat is just like pushing your religion onto them.
I have friends who were bought up on a meat eating diet and they have never fotgiven them for it. Their bodies now cant cope without it. One even cried, literally cried at a vegan dinner because they couldnt eat the food, they would have been sick, they needed meat.

Back to back batshit posts.....do they cancel each other out?

[cleaty]

I am a vegan, but I think children when they grow up should have the choice about what they eat.