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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annual zoo pass for DC, aibu?

92 replies

Fura · 09/04/2016 10:31

Ex mil bought an annual zoo pass for each DC.

They would really like to go today so I have asked ex h for their passes but he is refusing as they were bought for him to use with DC by his mother.

I don't really want to pay again for them when they each have an annual pass in their name already, Aibu?

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 09/04/2016 13:34

Really? The Zoo staff actually recorded that on their system? Hmm. And told you about it, but agreed not to enforce it (as if they could)??

andintothefire · 09/04/2016 13:36

I am absolutely horrified by his and his mother's behaviour. You sound like you coped with it brilliantly.

I can't imagine how any parent can use their children like that. If you are divorced, it is your responsibility to make things as easy as possible for your children. That kind of behaviour is just cruel and damaging.

I really hope you do show them this thread because, no matter what excuses they might come up with for their behaviour, it is never justified to treat children in that way.

andintothefire · 09/04/2016 13:37

Oh and I would also complain to the zoo. I think it is disgraceful to put a note on the system like that. Your children are entitled to use their annual passes - it is not up to the zoo (or to the purchaser of those passes) to dictate who they can and can't attend with!

Original poster
Fura · 09/04/2016 13:41

He owes me £330 in backdated maintenance which he says he will not pay, is always hours late (4 last week) to collect DC and is now planning taking me to court for 50/50 access. I'm assuming in order to pay less maintenance.

OP posts:
Veryflummoxed · 09/04/2016 13:43

This sounds so unreasonable I'm wondering if it's a mistake. We have a pass for a local attraction but it's a family pass with us all named, so someone else couldn't use it for our children. Could this be what's happened here

CantWaitForWarmWeather · 09/04/2016 13:46

Bloody hell the zoo actually put a note on the system for that?! Shock
Places like school or call centres put "notes on the system".
How bizarre that the zoo would do that.

Anyway, glad you had someone understanding on their end.

rookiemere · 09/04/2016 13:49

I'm going to go against the grain here a bit waits nervously for flaming.

We had a zoo annual pass when DS was young. It wasn't cheap to purchase and had diminishing returns i.e. first visit some enthusiasm to see animals so 3 hr visit, second time keen to see penguins only - 2hr visit, by about the forth visit all DS wanted to do was go to the many play areas so effectively we'd bought membership to a large park rather than a zoo and any animals seen were purely incidental on the way to the swings.

Therefore I guess as the purchaser I'd be keen to be the one taking the DCs to the zoo myself, or in the case of the MIL she'd be keen for her DS to have the opportunity to take the DCs himself. Perhaps the Ex is somewhat bereft of ideas on how to entertain his DCs therefore an annual zoo pass is a good thing for him to have, but not so good if the DCs are already bored of visiting with their DM.

I can see that withholding the membership cards is an unpleasant and petty act, but it seems a bit excessive to describe it as cruel to the DCs as such, if it is explained to them as something they can do with their DF . There are after all lots of other activities they can do with their DM.

Narp · 09/04/2016 13:49

That was a short trip

rookiemere · 09/04/2016 13:50

Sorry Fura just read your update, he does sound like an utter knob in other respects.

AhHaaaaa · 09/04/2016 13:50

Wow, he added a note on the system! Nice guy and well done for being an ex.

CantWaitForWarmWeather · 09/04/2016 13:51

Narp how do you know the OP is home yet?

Narp · 09/04/2016 13:53

Can'tWait

Good point

CalleighDoodle · 09/04/2016 13:59

Ive had annual zoo passes twice. We only ever saw a third of it each visit as children were young and otherwise it got too much for them. There are still lots of talks / feeds we havent seen!

Im pretty sure the zoo wouldnt be able to enfore that note. How could they? If the children arrived and the zoo turned them away, despite having annual passes, surely thats not legal?

Floggingmolly · 09/04/2016 14:07

Of course it's not enforcable. I think op may have misunderstood...

Floggingmolly · 09/04/2016 14:07

Or something...

Aworldofmyown · 09/04/2016 14:08

To all the people justifying the arsewipes behaviour - YADBU.

It was a present for the children and they should be able to use it if they wish. What would happen if each parent vetoes certain places because they decide that is 'their' place. If he can't manage to think up any other ideas other than the zoo 50/50 custody is going to be pretty shit for him.

He's just being mean and controlling.

Kaddy · 09/04/2016 14:10

I can see rookiemeres point too especially if you are a stay at home mum and get to take them out during the week. If you ex only has the kids EOW then he obviously wants to make the most of the time he has them and to treat them.

EarthboundMisfit · 09/04/2016 14:12

Good God. This man is vile.

AyeAmarok · 09/04/2016 14:14

They then looked on the system and there was a note to say not to allow it and they were only allowed into the zoo with him....

Farking hell, man!

Why on earth is he an ex? He sounds like a catch, you're a fool to have let him slip through your fingers!

Grin
AyeAmarok · 09/04/2016 14:17

If you ex only has the kids EOW then he obviously wants to make the most of the time he has them and to treat them.

Hardly, since he turned up 4 hours late last time and is never on time.

It doesn't sound anything like his children's happiness is his prime motivation to me.

gpignname · 09/04/2016 14:29

Was this their first ever visit to that zoo or had they been before?

Hissy · 09/04/2016 16:13

The zoo are fucking idiots! Since when do 2 kids and a parent go in to a zoo and not buy a drink etc etc. The children are the members, they have a right to be admitted, and the zoo has no business refusing duplicate membership cards.

I'd take this up with zoo management/membership actually.

Original poster
Fura · 09/04/2016 19:13

It's in the next town, they go often.

I spoke to the manageress again to clarify and she was very sympathetic.
He had gone out of his way to put a note on the file. She said it would be ridiculous for the children to have two membership cards and she would be contacting him then would call me afterwards.

OP posts:
lljkk · 09/04/2016 19:15

gosh I hope zoo doesn't speak to him, he might just cancel the membership out of spite.

Original poster
Fura · 09/04/2016 19:15

She added they had never had this situation arise so it was new territory for them.

I'm wondering whether I should say something to ex?

OP posts:
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