Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give them the rest of the money

76 replies

careeristbitchnigel · 09/04/2016 08:03

BIL and SIL live with us.

Yesterday they went to Sainsburys and I asked, very specifically for them to get me "20 own brand 2in1 dishwasher tablets but not value". These are £3 at the moment. I have £15 left for housekeeping until payday.

They bought 54 Finish tablets which cost £8.

WIBU to tell them I am not paying the £5 extra as they did not ask what they were very clearly told to buy ?

OP posts:
MrsLeighHalfpenny · 09/04/2016 08:05

Take them back and exchange them???

SquidgeyMidgey · 09/04/2016 08:05

I would tell them why you asked for the £3 ones and give them the choice of swapping them or paying the difference.

Original poster
careeristbitchnigel · 09/04/2016 08:06

I can't exchange them - they have already opened them to put the dishwasher on

OP posts:
Original poster
careeristbitchnigel · 09/04/2016 08:07

sorry have just realised I made a typo

WIBU to tell them I am not paying the £5 extra as they did not BUY what they were very clearly told to buy

OP posts:
londonrach · 09/04/2016 08:07

If they live with you do they pay towards household expenses, rent, food etc. as for the tablets..give them the £3 you were going to pay or offer that they take them back and get the correct ones.

Original poster
careeristbitchnigel · 09/04/2016 08:08

Yes they do, they pay £500 to live here full board (don't get me started on that)

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 09/04/2016 08:10

Just give them the £3 and say sorry I don't have any more, that's why I asked you to buy the £3 packet.

PageStillNotFound404 · 09/04/2016 08:15

YANBU. I'd just say "thanks for treating us to the posh tablets. I can't afford Finish usually, that's why I get the own brand ones."

FishWithABicycle · 09/04/2016 08:28

Yanbu because you don't have the money this week so only give £3 today, but as it's 54 tablets not 20 the box of 54 tablets for £8 is 14.8p per tablet as against 15p per tablet for your normal ones so you should give them the rest of the money once your next lot of income comes in and/or more than 20 of the finish tablets have been used.

MattDillonsPants · 09/04/2016 08:38

I agree with Owlina.

foranangel · 09/04/2016 08:53

YANBU. But perhaps there was none of the own brand left and they wanted to get "something" so as not to disapoint you.

Rafflesway · 09/04/2016 09:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scarlets · 09/04/2016 09:07

They know that you're on a budget (presumably, given that they reside with you) and they must realise that Finish is not a cheap brand, so they definitely messed up. Irritating.

However - tbh - for the sake of domestic harmony i would be inclined to give them the £8, but making it clear that you're disappointed.

If there are other issues/problems wth your relatives living with you, try to address them. Don't be tempted to use the tablets as a "front" for bigger grievances iyswim.

ClopySow · 09/04/2016 09:09

I want to get you started on the £500 full board bit. Each?

Oh, yanbu.

grapejuicerocks · 09/04/2016 09:11

£500 for both of them full board? I've got to get you started on that.

If they paid a decent rate you might have more than £15 left.

Who set that rate and why?

Thebrowntrout · 09/04/2016 09:12

That's a good way of approaching it Owlina

SuperFlyHigh · 09/04/2016 09:16

I was going to mention re the money for full board too! If it's £500 for both of them full board that is WAY under what they should be paying, I assume they both work?

I've got an intern who recently got his first proper job stay with me, he is in the small box room study that I don't count as a bedroom, he pays £80 a week full board but he graduated from uni last summer, hasn't worked much since and only got his job a month ago. Plus he's moving out soon, he got an offer of a house share but he's also grandson of one of my mums family friends. He is also away most weekends. He's been here about 2 months now but was here on and off for a week or so beginning of year. Plus his grandparents help re minding my parents holiday home (France as they live there) and with odd airport pickups for us when we go there.

Original poster
careeristbitchnigel · 09/04/2016 09:37

They pay a low rent because their landlord wanted to put their rent up. They moved in with us to save some money for a deposit for their own house.

What they have actually done is bought a ridiculously expensive car and saved nothing.

Yes they both work.

The stupid price was DHs idea (BIL is his brother).

They have two rooms in the house which I could fill with students and get £69 a night for the two rooms rather than £16.

It pisses me off no end.

OP posts:
HolgerDanske · 09/04/2016 09:40

Sorry but that's taking the piss. They've not held up their end of the bargain to save for a deposit for ownership of their own, so they need to be given a deadline in which to save for a deposit on a rental.

I hate it when people take advantage like this, and your DH needs to stop facilitating it.

You have my utmost sympathy!

Original poster
careeristbitchnigel · 09/04/2016 09:41

Tell me about it. It's the one thing DH and I argue about

They wash at least one batch of washing a day as well

OP posts:
HolgerDanske · 09/04/2016 09:42

I couldn't cope with that. How much do you love your husband, because he's quite clearly blinded by stupidity in this case...

Original poster
careeristbitchnigel · 09/04/2016 09:46

It's because there is an end in sight. They are only here for 1 more years while SIL finishes her degree.

I have told DH that they are going to be leaving then because that was the arrangement we agreed. Or I will be leaving. They are planning to have a baby when she finishes, DH would be quite happy for them to stay here and thinks I am U for not wanting them to have a baby here

I have told them all that once she is pregnant that is it, I have done my years of night wakings thanks very much.

OP posts:
HolgerDanske · 09/04/2016 09:50

Oh my god wow. I salute your magnanimity! I must be a terrible person because I would have thrown an almighty strop.

2rebecca · 09/04/2016 09:58

I would be worried about our relationship if my husband preferred to live with relatives rather than just me. He is also failing to see they are his relatives not yours. Suspect our marriage would have crumbled if my opinion counted for so little

Puzzledandpissedoff · 09/04/2016 09:59

DH would be quite happy for them to stay here and thinks I am U for not wanting them to have a baby here

And no doubt BIL/SIL hope you'll provide free child care while they continue to live with you on the cheap, carry on working and buy themselves expensive cars?

Sounds to me as if it's time for some very serious conversations ...

Swipe left for the next trending thread