Catering for vegetarians at a house-warming party, do I need to provide separate food?

[IslandCanary]

Everyone is bringing a dish, so far most of these contain meat/fish (apart from the salad) as we're doing tapas-style.

One couple have just told me they are vegetarian.

Do I need to ask everyone to bring vegetarian dishes instead? Or is it ok to just provide some salad/rice and let them bring a dish they can eat? I don't want them to feel excluded.

I find most vegetarian food bland and unpleasant and would rather have meat/fish dishes to cater for the majority (I'm planning to make spicy chicken wings, someone else is bringing meatballs, another is bringing battered tempura prawns, crispy squid, vegetable risotto etc.

If I need to provide more veggie options does anyone have any ideas?

If the love for vegetarian food from meat eaters on this thread is anything to go by, you could just make the whole thing vegetarian. No need for any fractions, labelling or complicated logistics.

Do you expect us to stand there and analyse the percentage of vegetarian food and compare it with the exact dietary requirements of all the other people at the buffet?

No, I'm an omnivore and I'll eat absolutely anything pretty much. I'm speaking from the catering point of view as the OP was asking about a party she is catering (or arranging 'bring a dish' for). The easiest option is to make most things vegetarian at a buffet - that way everyone will eat well. And yes, that is the caterers fault but if you're catering at home then it's your responsibility and I'd rather do a dish I know most people will eat.

It's like I never do chocolate dishes as my son can't eat chocolate (as I've mentioned - it makes him gag). No one has ever said 'oh I wish we had some chocolate' and I doubt a meat eater would say at a buffet 'oh I wish we had some meat' - they may mutter but they'd eat!

Whereas my son would have to go without if he went to a party where there was a chocolate cake (and yes, he is well mannered enough at 8 years old to smile nicely and say thank you when he get a piece of chocolate birthday cake at a friends party then 'forget' to eat it as he doesn't want to embarrass his friend), and my sister, niece and SILs would have to go without if I only served meat.

Adding to my woes for catering is the fact that two members of my family are coeliac - so everything that I cook with when they come over has to be checked and double checked. That's not a whimsy or a life choice - that is life threatening. If I can check every ingredient for their safety, I can throw together something tasty without meat!

If the love for vegetarian food from meat eaters on this thread is anything to go by, you could just make the whole thing vegetarian
I wonder if meat eaters would object massively though? It's not proper food if it's not meat etc.

A colleague once ranted at me that it was my fault that the (single preparation of) soup in the work food outlet is always vegetarian. He wants to always have a meat flavour. He simply didn't get that we could both eat the veggie option, but only one of us could eat the meat version.

I wouldn't mind but I've never remotely campaigned for vegetarian soup at work

Sorry, some meat eaters....

The easiest option is to make most things vegetarian at a buffet - that way everyone will eat well.

Try being coeliac!

I would try making a frittata and some dips: aubergine dip, guacamole, salsa and homemade homous, these are all veg dishes that lots of people like

Many years ago when I was a meat eater (vegan now) I would avoid meat at buffets in case I got food poisoning lol
I am 100% positive that the fear of "unknown" meat turns some people temporarily vegetarian

t's not really a headache for home entertainers though is it? We had about 12 friends round for lunch some couple of veggies, couple of vegans, rest omnivores, I made a mezze to start which consisted of

Homemade Hummous, tzatziki, spiced labneh, taramasalata, baba ganoush
Homemade flatbreads
HM Falafel
Quails' eggs with cumin salt
Grilled chicken wings with tahini
Beetroot with yoghurt (did one without too for the vegans)
Carrot and cumin salad
Aubergines with mint, garlic and chilli
Tabbouleh
Quail with pomegranate molasses
Pickled chillis, olives etc.

Then a made a huge vegetable tagine with cous cous

Baklava and rosewater icecream for pudding

With the exception of the quail, chicken wings and taramasalata the veggies could have everything, the vegans additionally had to miss out on the tzatziki, labneh, eggs and ice cream.

I made fucktons of EVERTHING.

Everyone was stuffed and happy.

Where's the problem??

Maid I seriously wouldn't worry. As I said I've never known a meat eater to refuse to eat vegetarian food - my DH moans about the lack of meat every time we visit his vegetarian sisters but he still scoffs the lot!

At a buffet most of my meat eating family don't even notice what they're picking up bar 'oh that looks nice' choice. If it looks good, they'll eat it.

As I've mentioned before, our wedding, over 20 years ago, was completely vegetarian - both the wedding lunch and the evening buffet.

No one complained (well, not within earshot of me!) because the food was lovely. It might not have suited a more conservative palette, but we only invited friends and immediate family so it wasn't a problem.

BikeGeek - come over to mine - you'd be welcome and (I hope) well fed! Two coeliac nephews, vegetarians, pescatarian and a DS who doesn't eat chocolate.

Most of my parties involve a bit of repeating the mantra "and breathe..." but I actually enjoy every minute. It's great to see everyone sitting about eating and chatting and to see empty dishes piling up. That's what entertaining is all about.

I think there is a bit of blurring the scenarios going on here.

I totally agree with the point that (say for example at a works training course or Xmas party) when you've been asked in advance to "select" a veggie option, it's totally wrong for someone to change their mind on the day and "pretend" to be a veggie because it looked nicer - thus quite literally taking food from someone else. That's absolutely an issue with the individual and very rude.

However meat eaters having some of the veggie options from a buffet (again unless specifically marked as for veggies only) is not an issue with the guests it's with the host/caterers.

Let's take the pie scenario again. Two pies, one spinach and feta the other chicken and mushroom. Let's say I hate mushrooms, why should I not have a slice of the spinach pie because a veggie might be behind me in the queue? The outcome for me and the veggie is the same - we'd both have no pie rather than eat the chicken one.

I think the answer is simple. If you go to a party with a buffet and you care what you eat - wear trainers so you can sprint to the front of the queue faster than German tourist can lay out a towel on a sunbed (or eat before hand) :-)

Hound - that sounds bloody lovely yum yum

Bike, I have a ceoliac friend, last time she came I did Mexican and I make my own tortilla chips and tacos using masa harina, everyone's getting the same then and no-one feels left out (they're also bloody delicious when you make your own).

If she comes for sunday lunch I use cornflour to thicken the gravy rather than a roux.

I think if people just put a little bit of thought in there's no need to get your knickers in a twist about dietary requirements, and people on restricted diets for whatever reason are not made to feel like a special case or left half-starved and omnivores are not getting berated for eating food thats NOT BLOODY MEANT FOR THEM.

Someone was asking about pescetarians? ...

Well, firstly there aren't that many of us comparitively.
I think on the whole we're likely to be less absolutist people about dietary choices.
A friend I knew at college ate fish (and not meat) and said he was more influenced by the humanitarian arguments for not eating meat. If everyone stopped eating meat we could more easily feed everyone on the planet. Fish isn't quite the same as meat in this regard.

Also it can be a taste or texture thing for some people as a PP has mentioned.

For me it's a bit of a half way house. DH is a strict veggie and has been for years since he left home at 18. At home we're a veggie household. But when I'm on an evening out with friends I sometimes like the change of some fish or seafood - I feel this sometimes allows me more exploration of different cuisines from different parts of the world too. And just gives more to choose from.

Another consideration for me is that I have caught, killed and gutted a fish (sorry vegetarian readers!) But don't feel I could do the same with a cow or sheep!

Everyone makes their choices, I'd say a pescetarian is likely to be less absolutist about them, but not always!

Another consideration for me is that I have caught, killed and gutted a fish
The only pescatarian I know uses this argument - he could kill a fish, but not a land animal, with his bare hands. I asked him when the last time he wrestled with a swordfish was

Although I was a little irritated when we had new people over as part of a large group for Sunday lunch and when asked she told me she didn't eat dairy or eggs, I dutifully complied, then she proceeded to smother her pudding in HOME-MADE FUCKING CUSTARD (I had provided alternatives).

(Turns out she did eat them - just preferred to avoid them, unless she really fancied it - grrr).

Now That's the sort of person that gives people with dietary requirements a bad name.

I'm another one who can't see a problem with home cooks providing mainly vegetarian food suitable for everyone. I've suggested about 10 tapas dishes above and only 2 contain meat and they're easy for people to prepare in advance or bring a dish.

You could do exactly the same with Italian, Greek, Indian etc. It's only a problem if you can't see past a meal being a piece of meat and sides.

I pretty much avoid any catered event Knockmesideways Unless people have personal experience of being gluten free I'm afraid I just don't trust them.

Gluten turns up in the most unexpected places and people just don't realise. They'll tell you they didn't use flour to make a sauce but don't realise that's pointless if they've used an oxo cube!

I agree Hound.

A close friend can't eat gluten.

When they come round the meal I prepare for everyone is gluten free (I use a Dove gluten free flour). It's not hard at all.

I don't want to do a "separate" meal for my friend and single her out - especially so if there's other guests she doesn't know. It's akin to shouting to everyone "meet my friend - she's gluten intolerant" rather than "meet my friend whose charming and witty".

Same with veggie friends - I did a curry banquet with equal amount of meaty and veggie curries - enough so that if everyone had the veggie option there would be more than enough (to the extent I had a freezer full of curry that latest us 6 months ).

I would never give an Oxo to a coeliac Bike, I always use homemade stock.

My personal preference when catering for dietary requirements be they vegan, ceoliac or anything else they may specify is to cook completely from scratch, that way I know and can reassure them EXACTLY what has gone in the dish.

Yellowtulips- re the chicken and pie scanario, well according to maidofstars her dietary choices is more important than yours- "What does that mean exactly? Are your suggesting your reasons for eating the vegetarian option are more important than mine?
Yes. You are doing it whimsically (because, judging by this thread, you don't hold a deep-rooted belief about vegetarianism) whereas I am doing it from genuine conviction that this is the most ethical way to live."

So basically you should suck it up and eat the mushrooms because your choice is not coming from a place of high moral stance.

Yes pearly and I don't agree with that at all. I think it's a very entitled attitude.

And also, if you're a vegetarian because you don't want animals to be consumed, surely you would prefer as much vegetarian food as possible to be consumed by as many people as possible so that the animals are not consumed? Surely if the moral stance is based on the non-consumption of animals then it should be preferred that anybody has the vegetarian option rather than just those who are making the most noise and the biggest deal out of it?

Unless, of course, it's more about posturing than caring about animals? Shurely not???

As an almost lifelong veggie I have lost count of the number of times I have had to have lettuce leaves and olives for my dinner as all the meat eaters have scoffed the veggie options. I also do not blame the meat eaters, I blame the caterers for providing, for example, a total of four veggie sausages for the two vegetarians and then act surprised when they get eaten by carnivores.

I am now in the habit of leaping to the front of the queue at buffets - it's not ladylike, but it beats being starving!