To think 'The A Word' has lost it a bit

[Justmeagain78]

This series has been so moving and educational so far I was utterly disappointed with tonight's episode. What could have been a realistic portrayal of the struggle families go through to get support turned into a ridiculous farce. The specialist with a childhood grudge against Joe's mum was just silly and unrealistic. The mum is also starting to be portrayed as a pantomine villain rather than a flawed mum who loves her son. The family dramas have overshadowed Joe and his issues - I really don't care about granddad, the Viagra and the ukulele lady or watching the family lurch from bickering to snogging - I wanted something better than Eastenders! Such a shame.

My son (now 18) was diagnosed aged 4.
During the first visit with the consultant, she went to kneel down next to my son, who was lying on a row of chairs in her consulting room, and said 'it can feel horrible getting your hair cut, can't it, we don't know why it does, but it does'.
I thought she was magic, she understood and could communicate with my son straight away. She certainly taught me a thing or two. (To put it into context, we'd been talking about how difficult it was to get his hair cut!)

Think this got better this week, I felt sorry for mum.

We got to see a little of what goes on at school this time. The HT was right, they have to prove that they've tried strategies to help him within school before they can get any funding and they can't just go ahead on the basis of a privately funded assessment.

In my experience as an Early years teacher (30 years) we had to go through all the hoops recording every step of the way and rarely got any help for the child until later in their school life. The cynic in me thinks that it wasn't until they reached KS2 and started causing problems for the SLT who tended to be in that part of the school that things got hurried through. I don't think the analogy with a paraplegic child really holds up tbh.

Another point is that some behaviours which COULD be asd or other communication difficulties are still within a normal range of behaviours for that age and can be overcome without any outside intervention.

I think it was always going to be difficult to portray an autistic child as each one presents so differently. I feel that the writers have tried to portray the most common behaviours eg the echolia, meltdowns, obsessions etc and used the more individual aspects with the other characters eg the mum. In a way I think they have tried to play it safe with the autistic child and explored more extreme individual behaviours with the mum etc. I can see why they have done this as obviously they can't display every individual autistic trait in the one character but find it disappointing they have portrayed the family in such a dysfunctional light. As people with little experience of autism could certainly link the family's behaviour to the child's autism .

Having said that I can identify with the mum's behaviour. When I recieved ds diagnosis I wanted something to help him to become normal. I was scared and clueless as how to help him. I didn't realise that I needed to accept and manage the autism and instead thought that the more therapy he recieved the more that this would normalise him and maybe once he had recieved the therapy the professionals would admit that they had got it wrong and that he wasn't autistic after all.

It took me a long time to accept the diagnosis and understand it. I thought that therapy would be a cure but soon realised it wasn't. I spent many nights searching the Internet for different therapies and almost became obsessed with the diagnosis. It totally consumed me and looking back now it was similar to a grieving process.

I then threw myself into fighting to get him a statement. This gave me something to focus on to help my son. The whole process took over a year and 2 tribunals so will be interesting to see how the programme portrays this.

hopefulgal I can relate to the quest for 'normal' too, and yes I had more empathy with Mum this week - I certainly identified with that frustration of good days followed by bad days, seeing light at the end of the tunnel and it suddenly going dark again . Coming to terms with the dx and what it means in practice is probably the most challenging part of autism parenting, for a lot of us.

As for the series, one thing that's troubling me is that Joe and his autism seem to be a side-feature to all the other things going on in the family set-up, just another aspect of family life, but not central to the story. Yet the series is still called The A Word, as though Joe's autism is something that affects all the other sub-plots going on. It doesn't though, and it's that mismatch that I can't get my head around.

I did think it was a better episode this week. It was good to see more of Joe - up till now he hasn't really had a personality, not that we've been able to see. Even so it worries me that it gives the impression that he's only become a real person now that he's started to speak . I do have concerns about the impression it's giving to viewers who have no prior knowledge of autism, despite knowing that it's only a reflection of one child's fictional experience. People will believe this, unfortunately.

I'm finding it entertaining and I like Joe. I find the mother insufferable, especially in how she is completely not listening to her daughter. But I can also see that it is a reflection of what happens in a household where someone has autism - I'm constantly worried that my own daughter just has to muddle along because all the focus is on my son with ASD!

One thing I do find irritating is the way the parents don't seem bothered that Joe gets out of the house and wanders off down the road (what seems like) everyday! You just wouldn't do this in real life. Yes, kids with ASD sometimes make a bid for freedom (although thankfully mine didn't) - but all the families I know where this has happened have taken precautions to make sure that it doesn't happen again! Like extra high locks on the door that the child can't reach, window locks, not leaving them alone, etc. Not do to this is neglect and I can't believe that they get away with it. It's ridiculous. I supposed it makes a nice plot device though, to have him walking along the road with his music only to be picked up by the same blue van and taken home every time.

I do like the sound track and love the way they use music to illustrate what's going on in the story.

I've really enjoyed the show. My son has Asperger's and I can see parallels with real life in terms of dealing with feelings about it and a few aspects of when he was Joe's age. I do think people need to realise that every experience of bringing up an ASD child is not the same rather than dismissing the programme as rubbish because it doesn't reflect their reality.

ZZZZZ

I am interested in your posts about a child 'not needing to fail' before school puts interventions in place and about 'funding having changed'.

Do you mean that funding is held in school rather than by nhs / combi now?
Is that the case for all schools including academies?

I am hoping to move to England to access better provision for my child but know very little about how assessment / funding for support in school works there?

Can you say more, please?

I find the show really difficult to watch.

I appreciate that 'if you've met one child with autism you've met one child with autism'.
I also see that there are real limitations on what the young actor playing Joe could be expected to portray.

However, I would prefer the School and Professionals to be saying:

There are a BIG range of presentations of Autism - and describing big panic attacks (meltdowns), sleep issues / food issues / sensory issues / social issues and all the other issues that can affect so many children and parents every day.

They are portraying a very limited 'window' on Autism which many will take as gospel.

The portrayal of 'Mum' is hugely stereotyped. The reference to 'tactical autism' is simply disgusting.

And all the silly shagging / Dad / SIL stuff is just 4th (14th?) rate fare which removes any hope of a quality programme, quality of autism portrayal notwithstanding.

Oh, thanks MrsDeVere

So, if I moved this September, with a LA diagnosis of Dyslexia (and a private one) and possibly a Diagnosis of Dyspraxia (second OT assess in 3 years upcoming) do you think I could expect some 'support' within the first 12months? (I know this is a 'how long is a piece of string' btw and that it very much 'depends on the school')

Hi. Child is 12 at end of this Sept. (has been 1 year below in Scotland but assume would move to 'correct' year in England).
Am hoping for a Middle School so would have 2 years for them to 'see' any issues before High School must be faced?

The show had a lot of potential, but it hasn't looked at autism in a great light. As well as being autistic, I work with other autistic people on advocacy and consult for films/TV to make sure portrayals are correct. The producers made several mistakes with this programme that would take too long for me to list! Even my dd (also autistic) thinks the programme has made some mistakes with the direction it is going in, and she is only 4!

I really must stress here that autistic people are working for identity first language i.e. 'autistic person' not 'person with autism'. I have seen a lot of person first language in this thread and wanted to let you all know as the thread has come to the attention of some of the advocates in the autistic community and we were quite keen to let you know that identity first language is the kind of language most disabled people prefer and feel comfortable with. I understand that this might not be what you've heard before, but I swear I know what I am talking about! Thanks all!

It has really restored my faith in humanity that there are threads like this because outside of the internet I have heard nothing but praise for the show.