To think 'The A Word' has lost it a bit

[Justmeagain78]

This series has been so moving and educational so far I was utterly disappointed with tonight's episode. What could have been a realistic portrayal of the struggle families go through to get support turned into a ridiculous farce. The specialist with a childhood grudge against Joe's mum was just silly and unrealistic. The mum is also starting to be portrayed as a pantomine villain rather than a flawed mum who loves her son. The family dramas have overshadowed Joe and his issues - I really don't care about granddad, the Viagra and the ukulele lady or watching the family lurch from bickering to snogging - I wanted something better than Eastenders! Such a shame.

Yes Jelly, very honest of you. I find it is a really common reaction for lots of parents - it can't be easy to hear/accept

I think if more challenging behaviour was shown, a lot of people wouldn't watch it because they don't want to see it.
I don't think it is unusual to not have challenging behaviour at 5. Ds who has some very challenging behaviours, was fairly passive at that age.

My dd was very passive at that age too.

Mine was in his own world and didn't bother us as long as his needs were met and no one bothered him.

i think the SALT was making a good point, that with children like Joe, you get more if you don't make demands on them. She was showing them how to invite him invite him into the conversation, but without any pressure.

ITs a point i've made to H quite a few times with DS, he gets frustrated that i can get him to do things, like the DD in the programme, that he can't... and its because i ask, i dont demand, and i dont make an issue out of it if he doesn't want to meet me in the middle.

The mom in the show hasn't learned the 'pick your battles' yet and seems to be hell bent on trying to make joe 'normal' rather than work with the person he is because of his autism... and by trying to prove there is nothing wrong, she is showing herself up, and putting pressure on Joe that he just cant deal with, or know how to process.

I like the show and think it's good that it goes beyond just Joe. Last episode we saw the effect of his sister for example.

I'm autistic and I can confirm that it's a very inappropriate programme. One of the main issues in society is that everyone focuses on how hard it is for a family of an autistic child. What about those of us who actually have the disability? It's ten times as hard. Also not the best casting/idea as a big stereotype is that only 5 year old white boys get diagnosed with autism x

We have a son with ASD and switched off after episode 1. Load of cobblers. Really dire. The only thing we recognised was giving lovely birthday parties but getting no invites in return. :(

I really liked it for the effect that it showed on the wider family,one of my other DCs is very similar in behaviour to the sister.

I suppose that it's not going to relate to all the thousands of different types of family set up/behaviour combinations that are possible.

Yes, the party issue is so painful isn't it? When I think of what I used to spend to try and pretty much bribe people to attend...

The writer of the series has given a couple of interviews about why they've written joe in this particular way. They are aware that Joe's presentation is not what the reality is for many families (eg Joe is verbal, no sleeping or eating issues etc). But there were difficulties with the ethics around having such a young actor perform distressing meltdowns. They considered having a child with an autism diagnosis in the lead role but again there were even greater ethical issues about deliberately distressing a young child. I think the idea is for the show to appeal to a general audience rather just families with a child with autism. There have been a few things that have resonated with me:

The lack of birthday invitations, the judging looks from other parents, dad trying to overcompensate during the meeting with the paediatrician by showing joe in the best possible light, the speech therapist communicating with joe by allowing him control over making choices.

But my son was non-verbal at 5, in nappies, are five things, won't sleep alone at night, terrible kicking and screaming meltdowns - so very unlike Joe. But the phrase 'if you've met one child with autism, you've met one child with autism' rings true because it is so hard to cover such a wide spectrum in six hours.

And 3illw the worse part for our family about having a child with autism is watching how distressed and anxious he becomes at every day life - that's much more haunting than any other impact autism has on our lives.

The interesting thing about the party is that the child doesn't care and probably finds parties overwhelming.

It's the social rejection that hurts. Maybe hurts the parent more than the child.

I have a son who did not get invited much, despite me hiring the village hall, getting a magic show in, and inviting 30 kids.... Until I learned.

In reality my DS disliked birthday parties as they overwhelmed him, he hated the noise!