To think 'The A Word' has lost it a bit

[Justmeagain78]

This series has been so moving and educational so far I was utterly disappointed with tonight's episode. What could have been a realistic portrayal of the struggle families go through to get support turned into a ridiculous farce. The specialist with a childhood grudge against Joe's mum was just silly and unrealistic. The mum is also starting to be portrayed as a pantomine villain rather than a flawed mum who loves her son. The family dramas have overshadowed Joe and his issues - I really don't care about granddad, the Viagra and the ukulele lady or watching the family lurch from bickering to snogging - I wanted something better than Eastenders! Such a shame.

The diagnosis pretty much mirrored what we experienced with our DS. Referral by GP in March. consultant appointment in July. Referral to SALT and ADOS testing with a formal diagnosis in December. So 9 months from beginning to end. A quick diagnosis is not unrealistic and allows the focus to be on the impact to the family,

DH and I are enjoying it.

I'm still loving it, the characters are so realistic, and the impact on the whole family is shown. The neglected daughter angle is worth watching. She's doing just what siblings of autistic children tend to do - seeking attention outside the family, because the family is so wrapped up in the disabled child. I can't wait to see what happens next ... and who is around to fish her out of the trouble the daughter is walking into.

I think its good. It's showing the impact on the whole family. The elder daughter who's being ignored by her mother, the uncle and aunt who are picking up the pieces with the daughter, the grandfather who is honest but completely out of his depth. The father who is instinctively doing the right thing although his efforts are not recognised by anyone else in the family. And the mother who is spoilt, and a bitch, and needs to do some work on herself. The therapist who is seeing all of this and providing the all-seeing dramatic eye - and showing the viewers how the family appears to Joe, who can't speak for himself. Who cares whether this is a realistic portrayal of NHS services? We can't hear directly from Joe, so the dramatist has got to find another way of telling us what's it's like to be an autistic child in that family. And believe me a lot of people do harass healthcare professionals!

And a lot of HCP's either ignore or harass families too PippaA007

zzzz - we can't hear from Joe because his communication is compromised. That's what autism is. And no, I don't have a child with autism, but I know four couples who do. The individuals in those families all reacted in different ways to the diagnosis that's why the characters are so realistic

The point is that the therapist has no grudge, she had been bullied at school because she was different, maybe even 'on the spectrum'. She is good at her job because she understands the problem, but not necessarily an easy person for the family to relate to. I am suprised the family have not noticed Grandads inability to empathise with others, and his obsession with routine and dislike of change.

Er, the therapist absolutely had a grudge if she wanted to bring up bullying 20+ years later?
what she should have done was said: 'professional ethics' and walked away.
or, kept schtum, and done the job, and then walked away.
she did the worst of both worlds.
it's a bit of a leap to say 'maybe even on the spectrum' for her, surely, just because she was bullied at school?

zzzz - they've got a lot to say about it, but not on the forum. Two have told me how much the grandfather resonates, one told me how many changes they needed to make to keep the family home quieter, how much they needed the help of extended family in the early days. one - with a non-verbal child - says continuously they have to listen and look out for responses which could otherwise be lost in the noise of family life. Yes, I'm convinced, about the depth and accuracy. And why is that so interesting?

I don't have a child with autism but I do have a sibling with ASD. So I have a kind of insider perspective.

As a retired Reception teacher I can't believe there wouldn't have been some dialogue with the school. As I understand it the therapist that came to make the assessment was paid for by the family. I appreciate that diagnosis takes ages through the school but the teacher would have been discussing strategies to deal with individual problems with the parents before you get as far as labelling a child with ASD or anything else. As far as I can tell the school has not noticed that there is a problem, presumably he doesn't listen to music through headphones all day at school but I would have noticed if a child was not engaging at all after a day or two.

I have watched it but can't relate as it's completely different to our experience and unrealistic imo. As a drama at face value it's ok but I don't think it's doing much to raise awareness etc. There are people who think getting a diagnosis/help is easy never mind it can take years in a lot of cases and months on waiting lists to see salt etc this does nothing to dispel those myths.

My DS has lf autism. Was really disappointed in last episode

But I empathise with the mum - she desperately wants to fix it but can't as she knows. Such a lonely desperate place to be. I know it well. She is single minded with it all, blind to everyone and everything else because it becomes an all consuming obsession. I understand this too. I personally don't think she is a bitch etc but that she is heartbroken and grieving and feels out of control.

stillenacht1

I agree that I think the Mum's single minded pursuit of what she thinks is right is not arrogance but desperation. Her H seems happy to just sing along with Joe, her Dad has made some really ham-fisted attempts to 'help' and she is ambivalent about the SIL. The SALT then going into the whole 'you bullied me years ago' and being somewhat smug re the 'family dynamic' probably tipped her over into her completely unreasonable behaviour re demanding the therapist attention.

Does anyone else think the programme is driving towards the grandad being outed as on the spectrum?

I find the whole family egotistical, navel-gazing, crashing bores, to be honest.

Yes I agree that the school would have picked up on it surely.

Er, the therapist absolutely had a grudge if she wanted to bring up bullying 20+ years later?
what she should have done was said: 'professional ethics' and walked away.
or, kept schtum, and done the job, and then walked away.

To be fair, Maggie was keeping schtum until Alison repeatedly pressurised her about coming three times a week and wouldn't take no for an answer. And she fully intended just to do the job and walk away.

to me the most implausible thing so far has been how quickly he got seen by a specialist and diagnosed!