Can my BIL's STBXW demand £200 every time she has dcs?

[twinsufficient]

Really messy divorce situation. SIL doesn't have the dc apart from when she feels like it which is once in a blue moon. She says she'll have them every other weekend if my BIL gives her £200. She contributes nothing financially whilst my BIL pays for everything they need including childcare while he works. This is also the woman who when she does have the dcs, sends them back without their shoes and coats which she sells. I am beyond fuming that she can make these demands. It is pushing my BIL over the edge.

Collaborate, You are not wrong in what you are saying per say, however, it isn't as cut and dry as you are making it seem. CSA is the agency dealing with child support, therefore previous to court proceedings for a divorce, this is who decides who pays the child support. They won't enforce this in the case of non bio children. During court proceedings, the judge will decide on a case by case basis. They consider things such as how long the couple have been married, the age and relationship of the child and parent, how the child has been supported prior to the divorce etc etc. Any judge worth his salt will also instruct the mother to seek recompense from the biological father. In op's case, her bil has doubts on the maternity of the child, and the age of the child. All these individual circumstances would be taken into consideration.

So, while you aren't actually wrong in what you have said, it isn't quite as simple as you may think.

CSA has no jurisdiction for non-bio children, so court retains full jurisdiction.

It's still a child of the family, whoever the parents might be.

Anyone can search birth records and order a birth certifcate online, could your BIL do this to see whether or not the older child is older than you think? I am wondering why you think this though and how this could happen, surely your BIL would know what school year his DSS is in etc? Has he never seen a birth certificate, passport etc for him?

The stepson was born abroad so I don't know how you'd get a copy of his birth cert. We warned BIL about marrying her as we could all see what she was like but he didn't listen. She was very flattering to him in the beginning and because he has been hurt in relationships before he believed it. Last year he was left looking after the 3 kids when she moved abroad for 4 months to 'work'. He asked for a divorce on her return

He's not the father to the stepson so he is in no way responsible for him, whether he's 12 or 22, so he needs to stop paying his ex maintenance.

He also needs to stop contact now. If what you say about drug use is true, and he is still sending the children unsupervised then he is failing to safeguard them. If social services find out it won't just be his ex in trouble. His job is to protect his children not pander to his ex.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 Care to explain therefore sections 23 and 52 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973? Or because it doesn't fit in with your narrative of what is fair, then we can ignore the clearly held wording of a parliamentary statute?

Please Mumsnet may we have a bang head against wall smiley?

I don't have many Top Relationship Tips, but the one I use most is #4: Don't have kids with ice-addled prostitutes.

You can substitute the last bit for coke-addled thugs, which comes up pretty often.

What possesses people!?

Oh. Um, if the story's true, he needs to do grownie-uppy things like see solicitors. The internet can't fix his problems.

He has 2 of the DCs full time, she has 1 (even if we ignore the fact that it isn't his dc) so why does he owe her money? She pays none to him for their joint DC?

That's a bit different to He's not the father to the stepson so he is in no way responsible for him, whether he's 12 or 22.

I've never professed to be a matrimonial law expert, so maybe a judge could rule that he has to support the stepson

I just assumed that regardless of marriage non bio children that hadn't been adopted weren't the responsibility of the step parent once divorced.

Yet the court can, and frequently does, order step-parents to pay child maintenance within divorce proceedings. The court still has jurisdiction because the CSA never removed that jurisdiction from the court in the first place.

It is dangerous to offer advice in absolute terms when what I suspect you intended to say was that it would be unfair of the court to order he has to pay of rate step-child. Well, whether or not it's unfair depends on many factors, including the extent to which the child was treated as a child of the family and the step-parent has assumed financial responsibility. Also relevant is the means of the other parent, and their ability to pay maintenance. The court will expect the mother to pursue the biological father first.