Can my BIL's STBXW demand £200 every time she has dcs?

[twinsufficient]

Really messy divorce situation. SIL doesn't have the dc apart from when she feels like it which is once in a blue moon. She says she'll have them every other weekend if my BIL gives her £200. She contributes nothing financially whilst my BIL pays for everything they need including childcare while he works. This is also the woman who when she does have the dcs, sends them back without their shoes and coats which she sells. I am beyond fuming that she can make these demands. It is pushing my BIL over the edge.

His lawyer should asvise him about stopping all her funding, rather than what we can advice. If he's laying her bills/rent/£400 a month of course she's not going to sign the divorce papers!
He needs to make sure he's not on any if her bank accounts/credit cards

Why would he need to give her money? She very rarely has the children. Sounds like she should be paying your bil Maintence not him giving her money.

I also don't think he should give her a penny for the eldest child like she's asked him for as he is not the father and chances are if other children return with no shoes then any money for the oldest wouldn't get spend on him anyway, if he is concerned about his welfare he should contact social services as a pp mentioned.

He really does need some good legal advice on stopping contact completely, as it sounds like the mother (not that you can really call her that) could have a drink or drug addiction.

Only has the children once in a blue moon, and sends them back without shoes
what an awful mother she sounds like.

If the children live with him, why is he paying her rent and £400 for food? £400 for one person?!

Does he have money to burn?!

She can demand what she wants, but your BIL is a fool if he gives in.

The only responsibility your BIL has is to himself and his children and ensure that they have a healthy and happy homelife this does not include his ex wife.

His EX is an adult and as an adult it's her life to live as she wants and if that includes not working and living off other men, taking drugs then that is totally her choice.

He needs to separate completely from her, no paying her bills, taking his name off her rent, bills and letting her get on with her lunch.

The main issue as to why is bil is paying for the elder child am I correct? Is her father in the picture?

Social Services would never say we don't want to know and hang up are you sure he rang the right place and explained properly? He needs to ring Central Advice And Duty Team he can also ask the child's headteacher for support in accessing the right people

The older dc (12) is a boy. This is going to sound really odd but we all think he's a lot older than 12 and could possibly be SIL's brother not son. We know nothing about his 'father' as he lives abroad conveniently. BIL tried to evict her from the house as our company own it but was warned by his solicitor that he'd be making a minor homeless as well so he stopped the eviction.

Solicitor sounds shit. Advise him to get a new one. If he owns the house via the family business, then he needs to ask her to pay rent. She can get housing benefit for this. If she doesn't pay then obviously he has every right to evict her. The dubious minor is non of his concern.

I would get a new solicitor immediately.

Solicitor sounds shit. Advise him to get a new one. If he owns the house via the family business, then he needs to ask her to pay rent. She can get housing benefit for this. If she doesn't pay then obviously he has every right to evict her. The dubious minor is non of his concern.

...which is exactly the reason why you need to have posted this on Legal, not AIBU.

1. "Solicitor sounds shit." And you are in a position to judge this based on the small amount of information provided by OP? You don't even know what advice he's been given, save for the caution about her being evicted.

1. "If he owns the house via the family business, then he needs to ask her to pay rent. She can get housing benefit for this." Not necessarily. A spouse cannot claim HB for renting a property from another spouse. This might apply where it is a company under the control of the spouse.

1. "The dubious minor is non of his concern." Wrong. Under s23 (d)-(f) of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 the court has the power to make:

(d)an order that a party to the marriage shall make to such person as may be specified in the order for the benefit of a child of the family, or to such a child, such periodical payments, for such term, as may be so specified;
(e)an order that a party to the marriage shall secure to such person as may be so specified for the benefit of such a child, or to such a child, to the satisfaction of the court, such periodical payments, for such term, as may be so specified;
(f)an order that a party to the marriage shall pay to such person as may be so specified for the benefit of such a child, or to such a child, such lump sum as may be so specified;

Under s52 of the Act a Child of the Family is defined as:

“child of the family”, in relation to the parties to a marriage, means—
(a)a child of both of those parties; and
(b)any other child, not being a child who is placed with those parties as foster parents by a local authority or voluntary organisation, who has been treated by both of those parties as a child of their family;

So the "dubious minor" is every bit his concern. If he can afford to pay something as maintenance then perhaps the court would order him to do so. I suspect that in part he's paying what he is to stop her having to return home to live. And perhaps he's already paying more than his solicitor advises.

He needs a new solicitor.
The solicitor was rubbish to advise him against eviction as it would be evicting a minor, people with children are evicted every day for whatever reason. As harsh as it might sound your bil is not the father of that child so he isn't responsible for him.

I think it does sound like your bil is a little bit soft over all this.

How did your BIL end up married/ partnered to a woman who has a child she passes off as hers who may be a sibling w/o you know realising this?? Who's probably prostituting and may also be on drugs? There's a backstory here and it sounds like BIL may not always have had his own act together

As harsh as it might sound your bil is not the father of that child so he isn't responsible for him.

At the risk of sounding like a stuck record....

As he was married to the child's mother, he can be made to be responsible for the child. And if a company he controls evicts her the court is likely to award her interim maintenance to meet her housing needs.

It doesn't sound to me that he's a bit soft. More like he has a conscience.

Whether or not he's paying too much depends on his income and financial resources.

So exSIL is a prostitute on drugs who sells her children's shoes and clothes, demands money to see her kids, and passes her younger brother for her son? And your brother just lets her?

What is this, a mash up of Les Mis and Jeremy Kyle?

Collaborate. A question for you. If it turns out to be her sibling. Would he also be liable?

What's he hoping for in June at court ?

Collaborate; You are in fact wrong. An spouse can claim housing benefit for a house owned by the other spouse, providing they haven't previously resided there together as a couple.

Secondly, A non biological parent cannot be made to pay maintenance. He can however, be made to make a contribution by a court as part of a court settlement in court proceedings.

The Child Maintenance Service or the CSA can assume parentage if the person named as the parent:

was married to the child’s mother at any time between the conception and birth of the child (unless the child was adopted)
is named on the child’s birth certificate (unless the child was adopted)
has taken a DNA test that shows they’re the parent
has legally adopted the child
is named in a court order as the parent when the child was born to a surrogate mother
If parentage is assumed, they’ll work out a child maintenance amount. The person named as the parent has to pay this until they can prove that they’re not the parent.

As Op has stated that child may not even be his ex's child, I doubt any court in the land would order an him to pay a penny for this child.

Yeah Right. So your Bil sends his children to be cared for by a Prostitute, who removes their coats and shoes, and sells them on FB, knowing you will see this as you are "friends"? He also supports her, even tho they aren't together and he's the main carer of said children.

You are either trolling or Bil needs a Cat Scan.

Ok then he needs to stop paying and get his solicitor to remedy this situation. It sounds very odd that he is paying her to stay in this house!

Husky that made me giggle.

and a big fat for Bil.

He doesn't need to give her a penny.
She could get a job other than laying on her back. She could claim benefits. The older child is not his responsibility.
Get a decent solicitor, that one sounds like a wet blanket. Unless of course it's one of her 'gentlemen' friends lol.
Cannot evict a child. Your BIl actually bought that bollocks? But she will have a claim to it anyway.

If she won't have the DC without BIL paying, then she just doesn't see them. Simple. I'm not sure why he is pandering to her? If he has residency then what is he worried about?

I wouldn't be giving her another penny, destitute or not.

calamityjam I'm prepared to be corrected on the housing benefit issue.

I will not give an inch on the child maintenance issue though. Save for copying the relevant sections of the Act at 15:16:21 earlier, there's little else I can do to convince you. You are confusing the situation with what happens to a child who is the biological child of the absent parent, for whom the CSA has jurisdiction unless an order is made by consent in divorce. For a step-child (see the definition under s52, above), which is a Child of the Family, the court retains jurisdiction. The CSA has no jurisdiction. Therefore the old system, from 1973, still applies.