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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take alcohol to a baby shower

30 replies

Picturesofmatchstickmen · 04/04/2016 19:02

Never been to one before so don't know if it's the done thing! It's around the corner so I'm walking - I thought I'd take some chilled prosecco for everyone but just mentioned it to my friend and she looked at me all disapproving and said you do know it's a baby shower? I don't see the problem, it's not like the baby will get pissed from my breath ffs. It's also on a Saturday evening!

Also, does anyone know is it presents for the baby, or presents for the mum? Or both?

OP posts:
TooOldForGlitter · 04/04/2016 19:03

I've never been to one but if I ever did I know I'd be happy with some prosecco. It's not as though the baby's drinking it is it Confused

operaha · 04/04/2016 19:03

We all did at my mates shower, she expected nothing less!

Peyia · 04/04/2016 19:07

I never liked the idea of a baby shower but my friends threw one and it was in the spirit of a party/celebration so bubbles were flowing.

I've hosted for a friend in return and asked guests to bring a bottle. Let's face it, they'll be cheesy/boring otherwise. There was non-alcoholic stuff of course.

As for gifts, something small for baby, practical stuff such as nappies/toiletries. It's lovely to get something to mum but then it all gets a bit exspensive.

Vintage45 · 04/04/2016 19:07

My niece was thrown one recently by a friend and yes plenty of booze plus a gift for the baby. I think you can do either or/both on the gift front though. Check with the host.

crumblybiscuits · 04/04/2016 19:10

I would never take booze to a baby shower but have only ever thrown one as more of a Sunday afternoon tea party style thing. Presents for baby but presents for mum always appreciated.

SpringerS · 04/04/2016 19:12

I wouldn't. I've been to a few as I've an American friend who throws one whenever a friend of our is expecting and tea, coffee, juice or soft drinks is what we drink. I'd feel like a bit of a wa**er bringing or drinking alcohol at a party to celebrate someone who can't drink. It seems super thoughtless. Like bringing my own bar of chocolate to eat at a party to celebrate someone with diabetes.

Peyia · 04/04/2016 19:12

This is when I realise it's in bad taste and in reality me and my friends are piss artists!!! To be fair I don't drink whilst pregnant but have pop in a flute Grin

MrsSparkles · 04/04/2016 19:13

I had mine at the pub....

Most of my gifts were for the baby, but I did have a few for me.

Original poster
Picturesofmatchstickmen · 04/04/2016 19:18

Hmm mixed opinions, don't know what to do now! Don't want to be insensitive obviously - have to say I never minded people having a few drinks when I was pregnant.

OP posts:
huskylover · 04/04/2016 19:30

Of course you should take the prosecco. It's an evening "do" and on a Saturday as well. Your friend sounds stuck up!

LeaLeander · 04/04/2016 19:32

I'm in the US and have never attended a baby shower that did NOT have multiple forms of alcohol. It's one of the few things that make them palatable.

Champagne/sparkling wine, mimosas, wine, beer, cocktails - anything goes here.

SpringerS · 04/04/2016 19:33

Just to add, our have always been Sunday lunch time affairs, so maybe that's different.

LeaLeander · 04/04/2016 19:33

And the host should be supplying the booze, not the guests, but if there is any question you are free to take your own.

I always give children's books as gifts. Never too soon to start the reading habit.

Alconleigh · 04/04/2016 19:39

Only way to get through it, I'd have thought.

Original poster
Picturesofmatchstickmen · 04/04/2016 19:42

Just checked the invite, starts at 4.30pm, so practically evening, a couple of months ago it would have been dark at that time.

OP posts:
Strokethefurrywall · 04/04/2016 19:43

I've never been to a shower that didn't include alcohol.
In fact the first one I ever threw for my lovely mate (I was also 22 weeks pregnant) involved a multitude of drinking games and everyone being absolutely twatted.
She wanted a shower that felt more like a bachelorette and that's what we delivered. Happy memories!

curren · 04/04/2016 19:46

Can't you just check with the woman who's shower it is or the organiser?

I would check only because I can imagine the aibu 'I had a baby shower today and my friends all started drinking. I felt so left out and pissed off'

I have known one to have drink. But most to be alcohol free. It's not hard to double check though.

PPie10 · 04/04/2016 19:48

You need to check with the organizer if it's ok. It's not a hen do or that type of get together. And the mom to be might feel a bit left out you don't know. Anyway I wouldn't bring alcohol.

fruitpastille · 04/04/2016 19:48

I think Prosecco is nice and celebratory for that sort of occasion. I would have half a glass myself if I was the mum to be!

gamerchick · 04/04/2016 19:49

I'd need alcohol to sit through a baby shower.

Original poster
Picturesofmatchstickmen · 04/04/2016 19:54

I can't check with the mum to be, I gather it's a surprise, I have been given the invite by my cousin, I think its being organised by the sil of the mum to be. I do actually know her, we are friends but not close, but I don't know the girl organising it. There was a mobile number to RSVP but texting or ringing asking about bringing booze makes it seem more of a thing somehow, I was just going to breeze in with it.

OP posts:
Trills · 04/04/2016 20:08

I would. And have.

All the baby showers I've been to have had optional booze.

Plateofcrumbs · 04/04/2016 20:16

I'd say everyone having a glass or two of fizz, fine (pregnant friend might partake of a glass too, nothing I hated more when pregnant than other people telling me I couldn't have a drink - I could make up my own mind thanks!). Getting drunk, probably not fine.

Thisismyfirsttime · 04/04/2016 20:18

Bring the prosecco in a separate bag. If no-one else brings any or if it's not offered keep it in the bag and quiet about it, if it's offered/ mentioned breezily whip it out, 'of course, I nearly forgot about this!' I wouldn't be bothered if all my friends were going, but if I didn't really know them I wouldn't want to look like a raving alcoholic if they would all consider it odd!

BrandNewAndImproved · 04/04/2016 20:20

I went to one where my pregnant friends mum filled up dozens and dozens of baby bottles with booze. The drinking games were hilarious and we could only drink out of a bottle.