Need help please

[Penguinepenguins]

Ok I got you here under false pretences slightly but I'm loosing my mind

And there is a AIBU at the end.

I've posted in a lot of places and I really need some help

Last weekend I suffered my third miscarriage (recognised by NHS), I suspect many more before - I had a very dismissive doctor before I moved counties and despite a positive test I was told it was a "heavy period" I switched doctors just before my first recognised miscarriage. Since then two more have happened and I am very lucky to have now a wonderful doctor.

GP said she will now refer us but it may take 3 months! DP and are lucky enough to be able to go private and we are now going to do this

I'm scared frightened about the tests.

The MC I had before Christmas was very traumatic as it was so painful and I had to endure an internal scan the dildo scanner was HUGE and the woman was very rough it left me feeling quite bruised then had a doctor check my cervix and it took her four attempts to get the machine in deep enough - all in all rather awful so am a bit nervous as to what to expect when we go hopefully

So AIBU to be scared about these tests?

I don't think your being unreasonable at all.
What you went through Is horrific and you have every right to feel this way.

I have been in your shoes where I've miscarried and I was made to feel as it was 'no big deal' it's horrible!
I'm not sure if it's the NHS or its because all the doctors and nurses are under pressure more that's make us feel we are not getting the treatment we feel we deserve.
My mum recently had her gallbladder out and the whole experience was hideous, so it's in all aspects of the NHS.

Thank God, you can go private, you will get all the best treatment there. What I would do is, explain EVERYTHING to them and how it made you feel and that you don't wanna go thought it again, and it's making you anxious.
You deserve to be given the best treatment and I hope you get it now!

Thank you x

My other MC have been "chemical" but whilst the EPU were brilliant the scanners were very matter of fact

I'm nervous about next week

And I'm so very sorry to hear you went through this.

What tests are you having exactly?

We have just booked an appointment with private doctor and have a "full work up" booked after that

It's everything will be done if we give the go ahead

I just want to know what happens

I think it's for the best!
If you don't have these tests done, you won't know if there is anything wrong and there for you will go untreated, and you don't wanna go through more miscarriages.

I have been finding it difficult to conceive after my daughter and multiple miscarriages, and I was transferred to the fertility unit, I've been diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome, it's not great news but it's not hopeless news!
At least now I know where I stand and get the help I need x

I've had the full work up (on the NHS as it happens), and whilst I hadn't had a previous traumatic experience like you've had, it was all fine. Perhaps slightly undignified at times (trying to hold a hospital gown over your naked arse whilst turning over on a bed thing under an x-ray machine and shake about to try and make the dye go through your Fallopian tubes and remembering you forgot to shave your legs ), but otherwise fine - people were kind, by and large they know you're not there for fun!

I'm sorry for your losses

Thank you both so much

I'm just nervous about it, nothing I guess can match that moment I had before

I will be shaving my legs though ahead of time, its the sort of thing that goes through your head isn't it! And anything to make it feel easier

Can I ask what was the full work up?