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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

get it out before she pops 2

959 replies

littlemaemae · 02/04/2016 00:35

Following on from aibu to take dd3 to a&e

OP posts:
Original poster
littlemaemae · 08/04/2016 13:49

I feel like I am going to have a panic attack or faint.
I'm going to ask them to do enema in a treatment room because there is a little girl in the opposite bed and I don't want her scared by all the screaming. And I don't think it is very dignified for DD to have it done on the ward, it upset me yesterday.
I'm going to push to keep her in. Thanks for all the info.
I will work out dose on her weigh when I get a chance xx

OP posts:
Crabbitface · 08/04/2016 13:52

Oh No littlemaemae - you're doing so so well. Is there someone else with you who can take over for ten minutes to let you try and overcome the panic.

cakeycakeface · 08/04/2016 13:56

Littlemae Thanks

Badders123 · 08/04/2016 13:58

Oh it's so hard to have to be strong for your kids when they are in hospital isn't it?
But honestly...don't go home. Stay - get other amity members to come this weekend so you can have a break.
I am saddened but not shocked they want to send you home on a Friday again, even when your dds medical problem is not resolved.
I have seen this so many times....the patient then ends up as an emergency admission over the weekend!
Maddness.

Fourarmsv2 · 08/04/2016 14:10

Could they sedate her for the enema? DS2 had a nasal spray IIRC. He is extremely needle phobic and needed a cannula for a bone marrow biopsy.

Footle · 08/04/2016 14:18

Thinking of you and wondering if Great Ormond Street might be worth contacting. This sounds unbearable.

Pupsiecola · 08/04/2016 15:23

I think it sounds like they just don't know to do or how to deal with this. My heart goes out to you and your family. I think it probably is worth looking around for experts in this area because the hospital you're currently at seem to be clutching at straws. Sending you home seems crazy.

Wafflenose · 08/04/2016 15:31

I have been reading from the beginning of your first thread, but haven't said much because I don't have much help to add. But you have done an amazing job at advocating for your DD, and you sound so much more confident now. Please don't go home... hospitals can just kind of limp along at weekends, but your DD needs to be there, being treated and monitored. Do remind them that they said she needs to stay in until this is sorted. Can you swap places with your partner for a while so that you get a break from it all, and can spend some time with your other daughter?

Original poster
littlemaemae · 08/04/2016 15:33

I feel like as they wanted her to stay in till it happened. Then it didn't.
They are letting her go home because the likelihood is it's not going to happen any time soon.
I know there is still a plan in place but I feel like they have given up.
I've popped out to macdonals with big DD to spend some time with her and then drop her at her dads house for the night.
Her behaviour is terrible that's causing me stress, I know it's because we are away and she is worried and feels neglected.
I'm having palpitations. I am a control freak and need to be back at the hospital incase a doctor comes round or they decide to do the enema before I get back. They said they wouldn't. I need to get myself together, I know I'm being silly

OP posts:
LaContessaDiPlump · 08/04/2016 15:36

The thing I don't understand is that they said there was no point doing an x-ray as it wouldn't change management (as a pp reminded me), but now (after said unnecessary x-ray) are suddenly making much more of an effort to treat and unblock littlemae. Did the x-ray show things they didn't expect after all?

Wafflenose · 08/04/2016 15:37

You're not silly - you're under a lot of stress, and worried about your DDs. That's normal. It's good that you got out for a break and saw your older DD. She will be fine with her dad. Please take some deep breaths, know we are willing you on, and be prepared to fight to stay there if you think that's what is needed. Sending you virtual hugs from the south west.

fraggle84 · 08/04/2016 15:39

Your not being silly at all.

I think you need to get a bit of that mn attitude ready for going back and be very firm that she will be staying in for the treatment. That's what the plan was from the consultant when she was admitted and that should not change.

She needs to be in hospital for this

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 08/04/2016 15:39

Oh my goodness your poor daughter Flowers

MiscellaneousAssortment · 08/04/2016 15:46

Hug.

Huge gentle hug and patting your back (in a completely not weird from a stranger on the internet way).

You need a hug. And that's first before anything. You need some looking after yourself, you're giving everything you've got and a bit more besides, and you're running on empty. You poor thing.

One thing would be, can you ask to talk to a doctor privately/ without DD. And then lay it on them, just like you've said here. You feel they thought they'd help her because it wouldn't take long, and for the first time in a VERY long time, it seemed that she was being attended to by medics, by experts, by more than just her mum... And now, because it's not happening quickly, it seems to you that the medics have given up and handed all responsibility for your DD's health and condition, right back to you.

Its not ok. And you can't cope.

Oh you poor love. I wish I could do more x

MiscellaneousAssortment · 08/04/2016 15:52

Oh yes, one practical useful thing to know:

You CAN refuse to be discharged. It's not something they like people to know, but it's true. I was this this when an appalling surgeon was trying to discharge me, when it was v clear I was very ill. Another doctor who was opposing this incompetent surgeon told me about the refusing to be discharged thing. It worked for me and gave me great comfort that if the system is fucking up, you still have some control over your own health and treatment.

Refuse discharge. X

Footle · 08/04/2016 16:15

She needs to be in hospital but it doesn't sound as if this is the one. The posters who were saying this is all perfectly normal seem to have gone quiet.

Littleorangecat · 08/04/2016 16:18

I apologise if this has already been covered but can you check with a different doctor you have been advised properly about the amount of water you were taking with the movicol? I recall you said 63ml or something similar?
My (adult not paediatric) experience is that you need far more water to make it work than it says on the sachet. I was told this by my gastro consultant after I had an impaction due to crohns. From memory on the adult sachet it says drink with 100ml of water in reality I needed to drink 100ml of water mixed with the powder, quickly followed by 1/2 pint, repeated throughout the day. This is because it works by drawing large quantities of water into the bowel to soften the stool. It may be completely different for a child, so please don't take my word for it, but my initial thought was that maybe the quantity of water was too small you had been advised to drink.
I am sorry if this has already been covered and it has been deemed correct.

GreenMarkerPen · 08/04/2016 16:20

I agree with othef posters. maybe it's time for a referral to a specialist paediatric hospital, like great ormond street.

cestlavielife · 08/04/2016 16:25

get her pain relief and/or sedation. poor thing.

2016ismyyear · 08/04/2016 16:26

Just read through the updates. I'd not be letting them discharge her either.
She needs to be in hospital until it's worked properly and the results of the tests are known.
It is also very unsettling to come home and go back. Both your children are affected by this.
I'd quote the info about kleen prep being used in a clinical setting for children and go from there.

tkband3 · 08/04/2016 16:53

Just to reassure you on the pain front - once the NG tube was in (which was uncomfortable rather than painful), DT2 didn't experience any pain when the Klean Prep was going in. She did vomit once, but that was because they set the flow far too fast to start with, once they slowed it down she was fine. I'm not trying to say it was fun, but it wasn't as bad as we thought it would be.

Fourarmsv2 · 08/04/2016 16:57

And if your other DD is with her dad this w/e it's a good time for you to be there.

LuluJakey1 · 08/04/2016 17:12

Just refuse to be discharged.
When my mum was very ill, it was near Christmas, and they kept saying she would be able to go home.
She was very old , had pneumonia, kidney failure and could not walk.. I was beside myself. A nurse took me aside and said just to refuse.
I did, very firmly, explainng why and it was like magic. Suddenly they changed completely and it turned out she was in hospital another 3 weeks- by which time everything was sorted and she was well enough to go for a month of rehabilitation care and then home.
They just don't like people being there weekends or holidays.
Stay put.

beesarethebest · 08/04/2016 17:26

I would suggest very strongly that you stay in the hospital. I've had kleen prep as part of a colonoscopy snd it was not pleasant for me. I cannot imagine for a little girl. And as previous posters have said, it's not recommended for your purposes!!!

Are you under the care of a specialist paed ward? Can you ask for a referral? My child got referred to GOSH via a consultant at our local children's ward as they couldn't figure out what was wrong (or rather, they finally did but had little ability to do any more). Being under the care of Gosh has been amazing. I once had a panic about something and emailed the consultant (having looked it up online) and she amazingly replied in 5 min... On a weekday NIGHT!! They've also taken a lot of responsibility in the rest of his health. It's amazing. No worries about blood tests - let's do another one. No worries about scans, let's do another to be sure. It's not obviously a waste of resources - they had their reasons to do these things, but the point was that they did it because it was necessary. I didn't have to ask for it.

In fact, after that panicked email to the consultant, we received phone calls from her junior doctors/staff and further blood tests were organised for my child and an emergency appointment was made for the following Monday (this was arranged on a Thursday). The only thing I needed to be concerned about was to get us to London for the Monday morning.

Thanks you've done ever so well in fighting so hard for dd. Hang in there. If possible can your husband take over? Just to give you some rest and time with your big dd?

georgiatraher · 08/04/2016 17:37

Still concerned about this post. I hope that the lack of post means everything is okay?

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