to be so very jealous of my neighbours

[abbyfandabby]

Ok not jealous.. their a lovely family. But so envious!! We became friendly when I had DD7 and she had her DS the same month, we went to the same NCT group etc. 20 months later we then went on to have our second babies around the same time too. She has been a great friend to know, without her I don't think I would have breastfeed my DC for as long as I did. Things changed when it was time for our eldest children to start school, I always presumed they would go to the village school together but they announced they were going to home educate their children. I was supervised and (selfishly) a bit disappointed for myself and DD as had been looking forward to sharing another experience with them. But I was happy and supportive for her, she used to be a teacher and her husband still is and I knew they'd be wonderful homeschoolers. However a few years on and I just feel sad and envious. She and her DC have made heaps of new friends whereas I haven't really clicked with any of the school mums. She has gone on to have two more DC (twins), I would have loved have more DC but DH & I decided we would stick to two as made more sense financially. I'm working in a part time job I hate and she is having the time of her life, she mentioned she had a blog recently and so of course I couldn't resist a snoop and when I saw all the wonderful photos of their adventures and all the fantastic things they do, booming social life etc I felt devastated. I doth have the time to take my children on all the amazing experiences hers are having as school and homework and jobs take over our lives!! Then I feel like a crappy jealous friend when of course I an happy for her. I just feel I've made the wrong choices in life by worrying what people think and doing the done thing and sticking to the road well trodden. My DC seem happy (ish) enough at school but they are already under so much pressure and life just seems such a drag and plodding along compared to my neighbours. They are talking about renting their house and going travelling around the world in a year or so. They live frugally and don't have nice cars or foreign holidays like we do but I can't help thinking I don't care about that stuff and they've got their priorities right! I know this probably makes me come across like a bitter moo but I promise I'm not really (maybe only a little)

You could take a year out from work and school, rent out your house and travel around the world home educating as you go. Never mind he at home do it one better and you could blog it if you really wanted to.

OP, let's say you had gone the HE route and you were at home with your dcs every day. I bet you'd be on MN saying how your friend went out every day to a job, how she knew all these people from the school gate, and how her dcs were having fun at school with friends and you were struggling to get them to learn anything and it was a huge effort to think up exciting trips all the time and the novelty of museum activity sheets was wearing very thin indeed.

I know that the grass always seems greener, but in this case I'm sure it isn't. I love going on trips with the dcs in the holidays (and one or two day trips sneaked in term time ). When it's an occasional trip to a NT or EH property it's fun - you pick a day with nice weather and everyone has a lovely time. If the dcs are visiting the same NT property for the 7th time (because let's face it, you don't want to drive 50 miles to go to a different one with a load of kids in the car) then mark my words your kids will groan at the very mention of National Trust and will be staking a place on the "stately homes" parental abuse thread when they're grown up.

I believe we're all slightly envious of some others situations; be it a nicer car, longer holidays, better hair etc. It's the human condition

We all raise our children differently and there are things that each of us should be proud of and equally, things we could have done better.

There was a thread about home education recently where a poster who said they disagreed with home ed. was torn apart. I was glad I steered clear and was glad I did as apparently, like religion, you aren't allowed to question it.

My OH is a headmaster and I was a uni lecturer. While people who try to school their children at home will leap at the chance to suggest any teachers who disagree with home ed. are insecure, have inflated egos, poor at their job and the like, neither of us have seen home ed. work except in very exceptional situations and honestly, the children who are better out of school than in, would have really struggled in any form of mainstream education.

Do what the vast majority of parents do and make weekends and after-school time fun. Let teachers do what they do best. You may envy your friend and her children at the moment, but I'm sure you won't when your children complete their education and have successful careers and a secure adulthood.

I think HE can look very attractive when DC are young and exploration still offers huge learning opportunities.

But let's face it: it is not always efficient or practical to learn through exploration. Some skills are far better imparted through a certain amount of rather tedious repetition and committing to memory. I'm quite grateful for school for taking care of that.

Thank you so much for the responses.. wisdom, solidarity, food for thought, fantastic practical suggestions with a little kick up the bum thrown in for good measure :)
Can't say how grateful I am, DH and I had a big talk last night and he said he was also feeling like he'd like to try for DC3! We talked about my changing jobs but it does have good maternity pay so I think I will hold out for now. He has been bemused when I've mentioned my next door envy before but this time he really listened and agrees we need to start doing more with DC and like a lot of you say we don't need to HE to do that although I still feel it's a viable option for our family. I still love the idea of HE and I am going to contact the school to talk about flexi schooling and we'll just explore our options from there. I've just been so shocked at how much pressure the children have been subjected to at such a young age and it all feels like too much too soon. I do feel it's tarnishing their love of learning! I worked really hard to put in the effort to develop a love for reading right from the baby days and to have that spoiled is hard to watch. So many of your suggestions we are doing to do, NT membership, we are going to get a caravan so we can have more UK adventures and have talked about going travelling as a family in the future. Does anyone know of the Meek family edventure? Saw it in a newspaper, very inspiring,
I just feel like we'd gone off track as a family and lost sight of the things that are really important to us. And instead of looking inward I was looking at what others have. Thank you for the advice, particularly about rather than envying look at what inspiration you can borrow from others. So many wise words thank you

Yes agree it's a lovely update. I'm really happy you're going to make your life happier instead of wishing it was like hers. I hope you have amazing adventures!