I mean, really?! *warning: first world problem*

[LittleLionMansMummy]

I have resorted to this. The whole pile can stay there until dh moves it. What is so difficult about putting dishes in a dishwasher, rather than stacking them beside the sink for me to do it?

The dishwasher is currently empty, it is not full of clean or dirty dishes, so that can't be used as an excuse.

Note - I am pregnant, so may be overreacting. But in my defence this happens all the bloody time.

I'm glad it's not just in our house then! My lot set the dirty plates on the counter on the top of the dishwasher! Every time I catch DH doing I open the dishwasher and pointedly say some like "oooh look the it's the magic dishwasher fairy putting the dishes IN the dishwasher " he still is useless at doing it!!

Honestly, nagging doesn't work. You need to switch on the happy brain receptors.

(I say this as one of the messiest people in the world. Years and years of being nagged to tidy up and find homes for things, not putting stuff down on tables, counters and ironing boards didn't work. Bring in rewards and it suddenly became something I wanted to do!)

If he likes putting things next to where they should go instead of the right place, d it to him. Put his dinner on the table next to the plate for example. I'm sure you can think of others.

My DH does this, but doesn't think he does.

The best thing I ever did was tell my DCs the dishwasher was there job in the mornings. One has to empty it; one has to load it; one has to wipe down the table after breakfast. I usually pick who does what to avoid listening to them squabble.

Haha so I googled and found this, which I think expresses my frustration quite nicely:

m.huffpost.com/us/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288.html

Arrow that's an easy one: never ever touch his clothes again. If he wants them washed, ironed or put away, he does them himself, no exceptions. A few days going into the office in dirty boxers will focus his mind.

I wouldn't be able to help myself, I'd have to leave dishes under that sign.

That would annoy me too Op, love your note!

I have the opposite problem in my house, we don't have a dishwasher but dh constantly puts dirty Plates etc in the sink without washing them up. So then I have to remove them from the sink before running the dishwater! So annoying!

I always leave my dirty dishes next to the dishwasher and so do my kids. This is because weird DH will empty ours out of the dishwasher so he can stack the dishwasher 'properly'. But I do feel your pain OP. I currently have a loo roll inner war going on with DSs - ffs the bin is next to the loo and they still put the cardoard tube on the window ledge which is further away

We don't have a dishwasher and washing up is shared pretty equally here but I do have a similar problem with recycling. DH just dumps anything not destined for the normal rubbish bin next to the sink instead of in the bag it accumulates in before it's taken out to the recycling wheelie bin. The bag is next to the normal bin (which he appears to be able to use with no problems) and he has to walk past it to exit the kitchen ffs! I have now taken to depositing the clean items, bottles with lids etc on his seat on the sofa, only started doing it a couple of days ago but I noticed yesterday everything destined for recycling miraculously got put straight in the bag so it seems to be working

Stbxh always does this. Plates by the side of dishwasher when it is not full. And he knows I have a bad back making bending hard for me while for him it's easy. Did I mention he's stbxh?

Another pp once said on the same subject she made her dh repeat "fuck you dw, you do it" every time he left something on the side or similar. Made the point to him that this is what he is in fact saying with his behaviour.

I'd be tempted to write my own note back to say "But there are no dishes here, only bowls, mugs, cutlery and a chopping board?"

I think perhaps you are over reacting a little bit. They are neatly stacked after all.

Re facebook - come on, if he is doing this now he's really not going to care what you post on facebook about it so he's hardly going to be humiliated. If you want to humiliate him put a pic of his dirty underpants online everyday until he agrees to follow along with what you say.

The interesting thing about my Dh is that he will put stuff in the dishwasher. He will even get out a dishwasher tablet and start the machine going.
Will he put the wrapper from the tablet in the bin? Heck no! He will leave it by the bin and on one occasion on top of the bin, but not actually in the bin.
Why, just why? I've resorted to only buying Fairy as they're wrapper free. He's the same with the wrappers of stock cubes and sweets as well. One day I came downstairs to discover he'd eaten some sweets whilst drinking some orange juice. He put the wrappers in the glass and then just left it. It was grim!
I dumped it on his lap and told him if I ever caught him doing that again I'd leave. I wasn't totally joking.
He has improved but still struggles with bins.

You aren't married to my husband, are you? He leaves the empty dish beside the dishwasher but wouldn't load it if his life depended on it. Utterly mysterious. They must have some sort of preventative mechanism that makes it impossible for them to load things into the dishwasher.

Zero tolerance is the way forward, I've been known to smash dirty dishes left out in the past. Been a long time since anyones done that now!

We have no dishwasher but I always wash up after each meal, leaving the kitchen tidy for next time. Except DH will have a massive snack in the meantime using a plate, bowl, mug, knife, spoon and leave his dishes 'to do later' and although he wipes the surface after himself manages to miss half the toast crumbs/sugar he has spilt. It drives me mad, especially the cereal bowl with welded on cereal each morning left from the night before because he can't even be arsed to soak it.

My dh is the washing up fairy. Not only do the rest of us not stack the dishwasher properly the plates we put in it are not clean enough.

It is the implication that he is above loading the dishwasher, that is why he has a wife. I suggest you leave a copy of Wifework by the machine, after you've read it.

Mine wont empty it, so if it's clean he leaves his stuff by the side. The other day I was in the kitchen and watched him do this. When I said 'It's not clean', he actualy put his stuff away. I can understand he is in a rush in the mornings to get to work so doesn't have time to empty clean machine, but not to check is just lazy!
I have implemented a rota, particularly for clearning up after dinner time which incorporates dishwasher loading and this is working well (for DCs too).

Hmm we are a family of 4 (soon to be 5) with only a slimline dishwasher.

It has to be packed very very carefully. And if you load as you go you end up having to unload to reload it with an eye to which items can go where. So actually, in our case, we stack everything on top and then it all gets loaded when you can see which bits of the 3D jigsaw you have to fit in.

However, it is DH who has instigated this, as he was fed up of unloading and restacking, as it tend to be his job as he is last to bed. And he empties it in the morning :)

I think this must be genetically hard wired. I am a slattern and DH is a neat-freak - except he is incapable of loading the dishwasher and piles the dishes next to the sink!

I mean, he'll tidy up the the trail of coffee cups I leave round the house, muttering under his breath at me, then leave them next to the sink which in turn drives me spare. It's the fact of doing 90% of the work of tidying up the dishes but not the final 10% of sticking them in the dishwasher that baffles me.

God my dh does this but swears he doesnt same with emptying the bin
However when other people empty the dishwasher it gives me the rage because thry don't put anything away in the correct place 😡🙄

I couldn't read Wifework it was too depressing. But totally spot on.

My mornings: pyjama top on the settee, pyjama bottoms on a dining room chair, glass of water on the fireplace (full), empty coffee cup in table. Knife in sink, cereal bowl next to sink, puddle of water next to kettle, crumbs all over worktop, muesli spilled on floor.
I'm important and have to go to work so you can clean this up for me, bitch.

My dh does this. Drives me mad.
Ihd my mil does it to, he was trained to do it.

It's taken years to get him to do the odd one

secretlimonade i always check pockets, theres always money in them ;)