I mean, really?! *warning: first world problem*

[LittleLionMansMummy]

I have resorted to this. The whole pile can stay there until dh moves it. What is so difficult about putting dishes in a dishwasher, rather than stacking them beside the sink for me to do it?

The dishwasher is currently empty, it is not full of clean or dirty dishes, so that can't be used as an excuse.

Note - I am pregnant, so may be overreacting. But in my defence this happens all the bloody time.

Happens here too. I don't know why. Just open the door and see if it's got clean or dirty dishes in fgs.

I think I need a note! I have just given in and loaded the dishwasher (someone please slap me) but am refusing to track down his stinky sports kit and wash it. If he wants it washed it goes in the washing basket. Unfortunately my rule of refusing to empty his pockets backfired as there is a whole load of tissues in the washing machine. Grr.

Drives me insane.
How many times have I had to say 'filling the dishwasher is not a job'
'How do you expect your plate to get washed if it's on top of the dishwasher'
Kids do it when I'm here, without prompting, then lazy arse DH gets home after working away, rarely empties it, and leaves his dishes on top of it so the kids follow his lazy example.

I leave my grown up DSS's dishes by the sink and dishwasher. If my DH wants to wash them, grand, I just work round them.

I'm guilty of this. We have a dishwasher fairy too. Luckily DH can't get pregnant and suffer hormonal rages.

Poor thing gets torn off a strip when he leaves the wardrobe doors open though. I think we all do things that irritate others to buggery.

My in laws and sil leave used cups beside the dishwasher. Drives me crazy! I mentioned it jokingly, only to be told they were being left out for next time. By the dishwasher - I don't think so! Now they are pointedly left beside the kettle!

I have recently been introduced to the concept of alternate dishwashers by an acquaintance. It works like this: dirty dishes go into one dishwasher until it is full. Then it gets switched on. When the cycle has finished the dishwasher doesn't get emptied. Instead anyone who needs a plate or some such takes it directly from the clean dishwasher. Meanwhile, dirty dishes get put into a second dishwasher which becomes the dirty dishwasher. (There are door signs to indicate which of the two dishwashers is currently the clean one.) once that is full a wash cycle is started and it becomes the clean dishwasher.

Maybe this could work for your husband?? (Though maybe not, he would still have to put the dishes inside the dirty dishwasher.)

Dried-on Ready Brek goes like concrete, too. Dd1 would often have an interesting collection of concrete bowls in her bedroom, if ever I had the nerve to go in and look. On related topic, OH said that if we ever moved house again he would not bother with wardrobes or chests or drawers for their clothes, since the only 'storage' they apparently used was the floor.

We actually got rid of our dishwasher because of this. No one ever emptied it or bothered to put dishes in it. The kitchen was always a shit tip.

When it went wrong I said I wasn't replacing it, I'd have a cupboard there instead. Friends thought I was mad and DH did some initial complaining but I said tough, you wont load or unload it and I'm fed up with it. That was around 3 years ago and I haven't regretted it. We have a loose washing up rota (which becomes a very strict washing up rota if people stop pulling their weight) and weirdly, everyone does it without complaint. DD2 hates washing up so she does the wiping up and putting away.

Weirdly, no one complains about the washing up like they did the dishwasher. I think it's because the quantities are so much smaller. Our kitchen is so much nicer AND we get to buy and smell lidl white washing up liquid. Win win.

Never had a dishwasher so can't sympathise, however, on the subject of teens leaving plates/bowls in their rooms... I once cleaned out (only once, I'm not mad) all the kids bedrooms. There are five of them, (kids, not bedrooms). There were so many crusty bowls, mouldy cups, dried on plates, that the only thing i could do was to run the bath and soak the lot in there for three days. Nobody could have a bath, but, hey, that's what I call 'consequences'.

Hide a mug, bowl and spoon for your own use, and wash them in the sink and hide them again afterwards. Don't ever clean any dishes again, until someone else starts to take responsibility, too. Notes rarely work, but action does! Be prepared for much huffing and cries of "this is ridiculous", and prepare the answer "yes it is - I am not your maid".

I am already training my one and three year olds yo take their dishes to the dishwasher after every meal.

They love it now as its a game - I'm hoping to get it ingrained into their consciousness

This works differently in our house. DH can't stand how I can't properly stack the dishwasher and gets irate having to do it properly so I'm under instructions to pile them on the side. I'd be angry at him for this except my xH had the same complaint about me

How mortifying, honeylulu.

Your post actually made me Lol (affectionately) WelErr, as I remembered how good my LOs were at doing jobs. Now I have teens. They're not completely useless, pretty good by some of the things you hear on here, but considerably less enthusiastic

OpenMe - that's my very northern parents still!!!

I took my cue from the blog mentioned above - I told DH and DS to imagine writing 'you can put this in the dishwasher for me as that's what you're there for' on a post it and sticking it on whatever dish they'd dumped.

Worked like a charm, when it was put that bluntly they were a bit shocked.

TBH, you should have been more specific. Currently it appears to be perfectly acceptable to leave glasses, mugs and cutlery (to name just 3) in that spot. And sharp knives. Sharp knives that might be used to threaten murder...

Ugh, my husband does this. I'll point out he has to walk PAST the dishwasher to put them in the sink. Plus I empty the dishwasher first thing every morning so he knows it's ready for dirty stuff throughout the day but he never bloody does it unless I point it out.

Doesn't stop there though. I left his clothes on the bed last night, I didn't have time to put them away before I had to leave to teach karate class so asked him to do it (put his own clothes away), I get home last night and head up to bed to find him snoring and his clothes piled ON TOP of his drawers WTF!!

Dh is delighted that in our new kitchen currently being installed there is a slimline DISHWASER! He has told everyone about this new toy like it is something precious and special. He used to do some washing up (you would think he slaved all day doing the few cups and dishes he actually washed up but never dried up. Of course, he did the washing up "for me". Grrr).

Sad to report he has no idea what to do with it and this morning not only do I have half a completed kitchen to cope with, I have a similar pile of dishes on the work top above the empty and pristine dishwasher.

If his strange ways did not make me laugh so much I would probably shove him in the recycling. It is worth being married to him for over 30yrs just to see him struggle into his socks and pants each morning (anyone remember the balloon dance?). He, obviously, does not realise he is quite that funny and still sees himself as manly caveman provider. The uselessness in the kitchen is a bit of a cliché but I have learned to live with it.

With or without pregnant hormones men can be so frustrating. OP does your dh have any other redeeming virtues that mean you will not consider murdering him.

I love a good passive aggressive note, keep it up OP.

fortified I have a two-pronged approach to deal with that. First, I have posted it to his Facebook news feed. Second, I have posted here to enable him to comprehend the stupidity of his actions. My theory is that I can humiliate him into putting the fucking dishes in the dishwasher.

Ouch. "You get more flies with honey than vinegar." Here's what you do. The next time he does it, kiss him passionately. Do this each time he does it, and let him know why. Shouldn't take his tiny man brain long to work out the positive association. In couple of weeks it should be a habit and you can save the passionate kisses for when he's picked his socks up off the floor or cleaned the loo.

It's just a grown up version of positive reinforcement.

I have recently been introduced to the concept of alternate dishwashers by an acquaintance. It works like this: dirty dishes go into one dishwasher until it is full. Then it gets switched on. When the cycle has finished the dishwasher doesn't get emptied. Instead anyone who needs a plate or some such takes it directly from the clean dishwasher. Meanwhile, dirty dishes get put into a second dishwasher which becomes the dirty dishwasher. (There are door signs to indicate which of the two dishwashers is currently the clean one.) once that is full a wash cycle is started and it becomes the clean dishwasher.

Wouldn't work in our house. We'd reach the point when we'd used every mug but there was still a load of clean unused plates in the clean washer.

Disappointedone. You are truly the goddess of positive reinforcement. I could learn so much from you.

I am puckering up to scare the bejesus out of dh next time he approaches the dishwasher.

Anyone else remember the thread on MN about a damp towel left in the living room by a DH? The OP ignored it and ignored it, waiting for the person who left the towel there to shift it, then started doing towel origami (like you get on your bed in posh hotels). I think the towel ended up as an elephant with added sunglasses.

You could start doing "house of cards" style stacking of the dishes, or glue uneven spikes to the counter top to stop items being left there.