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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel guilty about ds lack of gifts?

44 replies

Dalmatian2017 · 31/03/2016 14:31

My ds birthday is close to Xmas and this is the only time of year he has presents and not lots of say 2 at Xmas and 1-2 birthday from is plus a few more from family. He gets more Occasionally in the year he will get something small from a boot sale or similar.

He loves watching you tube videos of people opening Xmas, birthday and Easter gifts. His face totally lights up and makes me feel guilty! I wouldn't go to that extreme as some of the videos even if I had lots of money but would definitely buy more and odd bits trough the year too.

OP posts:
Notso · 31/03/2016 14:49

My children love watching people open presents. Not on YouTube but on other peoples birthdays etc. I don't think it means they wish it was them as such. It's just exciting for them.

I have a birthday close to Christmas, so does my third child. I never felt left out because of it and I don't think my son does so far. He is 5.

Children don't need loads of things. Mine play better the less they have. We recently redecorated their room and put all but a few toys away. They played so nicely we got rid of a lot of toys.

Your son has you who loves him and cares about him.

Mysteryfla · 31/03/2016 15:27

First thing I would do is stop showing him present opening YouTube videos!

escapedfrommordor · 31/03/2016 16:03

I'd stop him watching the videos I think. I don't know why but I just find it a bit unusual..
As for number of presents you just do what you can afford or want to buy. My other half is a nightmare for treating the kids, they get things quite often 😕 I think its nice to keep it to special occasions. Nothing wrong either way as long as they're not bratty and rude.

Beeziekn33ze · 31/03/2016 16:14

If you're bothered have an official birthday ( like HM) in June with a special present from you and maybe a party for his friends/cousins. Make it clear you're not trying to get presents every 6 months!
We once had an 8 year old's birthday party for school friends a couple of months after his birthday due to school holidays and booking issues. All guests turned up with presents including his closest friends who had already given him one on his actual birthday.

PPie10 · 31/03/2016 16:17

It's silly that you are comparing YouTube to your own life. Stop the videos and problem solved.

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/03/2016 16:17

DD has a December birthday. It really isn't a big deal if you don't make it one. He loves watching you tube videos of people opening Xmas, birthday and Easter gifts. That is either a really bad idea or he is lovely and empathetic and likes watching other people's happiness, which is how I would frame it if he wants to watch those videos.

BeautyQueenFromMars · 31/03/2016 16:20

It could just be the watching people opening things that he likes, not the fact they're presents. There are whole categories on youtube dedicated to videos of people opening things - boxes, kinder eggs, toys etc. Maybe find out his reaction to those and see if he likes them just as much?

BoneyBackJefferson · 31/03/2016 16:54

I like watching proposals and homecoming videos on youtube, its a guilty pleasure.
I just like seeing people happy.

Original poster
Dalmatian2017 · 31/03/2016 17:30

It's not just birthdays he likes but any kind of present opening including kinder egg style stuff. I can't really stop him watching them because I feel guilty, he's not on the computer all the time bay be 10 mins or so a day, but when he is on it that's what he likes to do.

OP posts:
Beeziekn33ze · 31/03/2016 17:39

One of mine as a toddler loved wrapping things up or putting them in boxes then opening them. Even better with a little friend to swap pretend presents with! Or me!

MatildaTheCat · 31/03/2016 17:43

How about doing a half birthday for him in the summer? Just wrap up a few bits from boot sales etc and do a special tea so he has one time that is especially 'his'. I really don't mean going to a lot of expense, just giving him a special day if that isn't really happening now.

CoteDAzur · 31/03/2016 17:46

What on Earth is the point of sticking a child in front of YouTube videos of people opening presents? Shock

SavoyCabbage · 31/03/2016 17:51

When your birthday is near Christmas, like mine is, you are just used to it as that's when your birthday is.

Believeitornot · 31/03/2016 17:53

He doesn't miss out. He just has Christmas close to his birthday.

My dd has a December birthday and it hasn't occurred to me that she might miss out and therefore I should buy her extra in the summer.

My ds loves those videos on YouTube so I don't let him watch them as they just promote greed and extravaganza. They're all about the parents and are weird

MrsJayy · 31/03/2016 18:02

My dd has an after christmas birthday it can be a bit meh for her some years i used to get her an holiday present so a little surprise in a gift bag but you have no need to feel guilty though thats a bit silly

MrsJayy · 31/03/2016 18:03

Putting present opening on you tube is weird why do that

MintChocChips · 31/03/2016 18:23

He gets 2 presents at Christmas and 1 for his birthday from his parents? And the occasional car boot sale gift?? I'm not surprised the kid likes watching present opening. There's a difference between going overboard and being really stingy! Only on mumsnet is this the norm!

Sunshine87 · 31/03/2016 18:27

Save up abit more and get some extra bday presents or don't give as much at Christmas or give him money to pick out some presents later in the year. My birthday is two weeks after Christmas never phrased me. It's not about material stuff to be honest

NerrSnerr · 31/03/2016 18:56

How old is he? Could he also get things like pyjamas, socks and things so he has more stuff to open? We used to get a lot of practical stuff for Christmas and birthdays that our parents would have bought throughout the year anyway to have more to open.

BertrandRussell · 31/03/2016 19:04

Really? 2 presents for Christmas? No stocking? Why only 2?

Mousefinkle · 31/03/2016 20:14

I just wanted to say my DD's LOVE these weird videos too! I don't put 'people opening presents' into YouTube Wink, when you type peppa pig, frozen, Dora the explorer etc in it always comes up with strange people Americans opening kinder eggs or massive presents filled with toys of said character then they talk through each toy.

My DD's birthdays are in the summer, they just find these videos bizarrely captivating. So I wouldn't worry! I don't think it's linked to missing out on presents. Make more of a deal of Easter if it really bothers you, seems to be the done thing nowadays anyway.

EatShitDerek · 31/03/2016 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClarenceTheLion · 31/03/2016 20:46

I agree, do the half birthday thing. Christmas does tend to overshadow birthdays that are close.

If you feel guilty about only giving him a couple of gifts, then why do you? Even if you're short on cash, you can buy cheap colourful crap from Poundland and the like. How old is he? If he's 4/5ish you could get away with telling him that next week is his half birthday... Spoil him a bit, it sounds like you both need it!

RJnomore1 · 31/03/2016 20:49

They're called unboxing videos and they're huge with the kids. It's odd to us adults but it's quite the done thing to watch other people open things.

MrsJayy · 31/03/2016 21:01

Well I am right out of touch with the kids: my youngest watches nick pitera and some other guy