To think that depression/anxiety makes you stronger?

[FlowersAndShit]

I've had to find an inner strength just to keep my head above water recently. It's so hard but I can't give in, because I've tried that route and it just leads to more suffering and helplessness.

I'm trying to very slowly wean myself off my Sertraline. I want to try and cope without these drugs, I've been on and off them since I was 16 (25 now). I've found an inner strength that I never knew that I had. I have to be strong and in control because I'm afraid if I don't, I will lose my mind.

The feedlings of despair and dread, the stomach churning anxiety is there, but I'm trying really hard to be strong.

You know what Flowers, I have written so many answers to your question "how did you recover?" and I deleted them all. Then I came back to this tonight (thanks to Beauty's post) and reread your post...

I want to see what my true self is, without the medication

Flowers you ARE you, with or without medication! Don't believe all that "it's what's on the inside that counts" crap; it's not how you feel, or what's in your head, or even what's in your heart that's who you are; it's what you do. THAT's living. THAT'S LIFE. And if you can do better with medication right now, TAKE IT. No-one's going to give a damn whether you were on meds or not when you do the things you do, because that's you doing it; that's you.

Take all the help you can get Flowers - why not? - because all that matters is doing a little bit better tomorrow than you did yesterday. And nobody cares how you get there, because it's what you choose that counts.

2ndSopranos you summed it up for me.

Thank you eatsleep. I'm feeling a bit better and coping much better. Hopefully I will continue to improve.

it makes me feel like a fraud. outside people think i am outgoing and confident but its all bollocks. just a show. Although i am not feeling low and miserable i'm now just pretty annoying.
Even though i have been on and off meds for 20 years, i still find it hard to relate to other people suffering with depression.