To think that depression/anxiety makes you stronger?

[FlowersAndShit]

I've had to find an inner strength just to keep my head above water recently. It's so hard but I can't give in, because I've tried that route and it just leads to more suffering and helplessness.

I'm trying to very slowly wean myself off my Sertraline. I want to try and cope without these drugs, I've been on and off them since I was 16 (25 now). I've found an inner strength that I never knew that I had. I have to be strong and in control because I'm afraid if I don't, I will lose my mind.

The feedlings of despair and dread, the stomach churning anxiety is there, but I'm trying really hard to be strong.

I think that depends on each individuals a) experience b) personality and c) illness.

For some it will make them stronger, for others it will break them and for others it won't really change them/do anything.

Much the same for any other long term illness or difficult life experience, I think. Cancer, bereavement, financial trouble, other mental illness, disability, relationship problems etc - all those things can make you stronger or break you down, depending.

I may need to go back on them, I just want to try and see if I can cope without them , especially because I plan on getting pregnant in the nearish future. I don't want to take them whilst pregnant, so will need to cope without them, at least temporarily.

No, I've been up and down since having dd over 14 years ago. On and off meds, seen various professionals.

I don't feel strong. I feel like I'm constantly swimming against the tide but I have to keep going for my kids because their Dad bailed 3 years ago for another woman. I was pretty much doing all the child-centered stuff from day one anyway so I'm used to it but it's hard. We're also currently homeless, have been for 16 months and no end in sight, so now two of the kids are suffering mentally too.

Happy fucking days.

Mishaps - I agree.

I would also suggest though that even being off them (as I am at the moment) still doesn't take away the constant feeling of inadequacy, in that the things that don't seem to bother other people can have a massive impact on my MH - I constantly have to fight an inner battle and tell myself that I'm not useless because I get anxious/obsessed/upset/etc that others don't even seem to register. I can keep the depression and anxiety at bay by various strategies, but I know when the feelings are returning and that in turn causes me to feel more depressed, worthless, anxious etc.

Speak to your gp no one on here can advise or should advise you on taking ad's

Understanding your depression/anxiety what sometime triggers it off (not the case for everyone) what are the first signs, can you help yourself level out your own depression/anxiety this can explored in therapy and you might find you can but its not a certainty

The BACP website explains different types of therapy some people go for more person centered approach others feel CBT (more solution focused) or psychodynamic is right for them or integrative (mash up therapy as my supervisor calls it :) )

It's all so individual and sometimes a little trial and error it is often hard work to manage bit for most it can be done

with the best will in the world OP please address all the other issues in your life before getting PG!

It doesn't 'make you stronger' and not taking your prescribed medication is dangerous

Depression and anxiety are shit - they aren't character building

Define stronger?

I'd agree, I have had various patches of depression and anxiety over the years, it wasn't until I attended a CBT event in Scotland and was taught various coping mechanisms to help deal with my unhelpful thoughts and vicious circles.

CBT did for me what SSRI's couldn't, they helped with the symptoms but it wasn't until I had the skills to tackle the real cause's of my depression that things really changed and I feel much stronger for going through that and emerging through the other side.

Just to add CBT isn't for everyone, some people respond well to SSRI's others need a combination of treatments, as usual the human body is complex and different people respond to different treatments in different ways. Thing is to stick at it and push to find a treatment that does work for you.

I wish I felt strong- most of the time I feel like im just winging it. I wish people didnt expect me to be strong- I wish sometimes people would just hold me for a bit when im not feeling strong and say 'its okay, ive got this'

It depends on whether you've managed to get a bit better. Then you can look back on it and say 'Lordy I survived through hell', and draw strength from it.

Or you can continue in utter desolation each day and not get the right help and treatment, or just have it badly it's resistant and sticking to you like glue. And then you can be systematically destroyed by it...

It's a bit like the awfulness of 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger', which other people use as a defense to understanding quite how awful life can be for someone.

I am depressed by the weight of the tragedies that have ripped my family, my body, my life, my present and future, and my identity apart. So to then be falling apart mentally as well... No, it really isn't making me stronger.

I'm glad that you are experiencing it as a positive though. I think it's very important to seize on to any light and hope. That's what we all hope (on a good day when hope can get in), exists for us at some point...

The only way I'm coping is with anti ds.

Not stronger, only positives are its made me maybe kinder to others and more understanding. The drip, drip effect of always being 'under the weather' for most of my adult life has taken so much away from me, there's not much left I've rarely went beyond moderate depression so god knows how those of you with severe mh issues cope.

I don't feel stronger because of it. I realise I'm strong for fighting it for so long but that's only because there's no choice other than suicide and I'm conflicted over that being the easy or hard option, not sure which it is, maybe it's different for each person and set of circumstances. So it's not a strength I can really credit myself with.

I feel weak for not coping with life events the way people who have them and don't develop depression do.

It's so hard, i'm sorry you are all struggling. I get waves of despair and I'm not sure if it's the depression or anxiety. I'm trying to keep busy as distraction helps.

ghosty That's what i'm trying to do, weaning myself off meds to see how I cope before having a child. That motivates me and is my goal. I have gynae issues so I'm not going to wait until i'm well into my 30's and risk my fertility.

Is there a depression support thread on here?

Mostly I feel as SirChenjin does.

However. I know that I have endured prolonged periods of godawful anxiety almost alone.
Sometimes I read people say 'I was hospitalised for x or y', and I think, wow, I went through worse than that all on my own.
So, in that respect I'm strong. Not everyone could cope with this level of mental health shit (not that I see coping as a badge of honour, people deserve appropriate help).

Mostly? I'm worn down, tired, and on a grand scale, pretty much disabled by my sodding anxiety/ocd/social anxiety/ tics/ moderate depression. I resent the fuck out of it and I wish I were 'normal'.

Flowers to everyone who's struggling, it's really tough.

OP - have you spoken to your GP about this? It's just pregnancy (and even waiting for it or of course complications within) is a time when hormones can do huge stuff to your mental health. When my friend was thinking about these issues the Dr referred her to a peri-natal psychiatrist that helped her find suitable meds for pregnancy. The thinking is that it's better to be on meds which often have tiny side effects (if at all) than becoming ill during pregnancy. For some people that takes a minute to get your head around, but for my friend (in fact, several) they were glad they took that option.

Also to anyone who can't be on ADs but still suffers, there is a supplement called HTP5. It supports sertonin. I can't physically have ADs but found this works for me. It shouldn't be mixed with other meds though and start on a low dose. If you're someone who suffers from any type of mania though, best avoid, as it can speed up that process. Just a suggestion.

For me, I am told repeatedly how strong I am, how others could not do what I do (I have 2 disabled DCs) and so on.

However, all I feel like is a fraid.

The problem is, I have put on such a front for so many years that I can't drop it even when I need to. My anxiety terrifies me, but I can't seem to express it to the degree that I can access adequate support.

So, they have made me stronger, in a way that is very non-productive... and I hate them for it.

I stayed on meds during pregnancy (unplanned). For me it was better to be on meds and alive than be off meds but end us killing us both. I decided it was more selfish of me to NOT look after my mental health for the sake of DS2.

I was on strong dose of an AD not for use in pregnancy but couldn't be switched to anything else for various reasons. I had consultant-led antenatal care with a dr specialising in maternal mental health. DS2 is completely fine and no complications. And I didn't suffer pnd this time either which I put down to being stable and already on meds.

When it comes to pregnancy, generally speaking what is best for the mother is best for the baby, which is depending on her for its survival. There are exceptions in extreme cases I suppose but this is how it was explained to me.

I feel like I'm a strong person for fighting my anxiety, but I feel so weak for letting it take over in the first place.

I'm so different to who I used to be, at times I feel like I am above water and others I feel I am drowning.

I would give anything to be my old self again.

Same as SirChenjin.

I'm middle-aged now and have figured out a few coping things eg when I'm so flustered I can hardly speak I now say, 'Oh dear I'm so flustered/in such a tizzy I can hardly speak' and that sometimes helps. With increasing years comes greater self-awareness which is obviously useful anyway.

The Buddhists are very good at dealing with MH problems through meditating and mindfulness alongside a caring attitude. You might find meditation useful.

Very best wishes.

It has not made me stronger. It has made me exhausted.

Things got really dangerous a few years back when (while on medication) the fight was endless and energy sucking. I was suicidal. I was self-harming. The times the latter two because real problems were the times when I was just too exhausted to fight.

There were occasional minutes when I dropped the ball, and it was on those occasions when I attacked myself most ferociously. It was literally minutes. I had to be on the alert to what I was thinking and doing every minute of the day, and no, it didn't make me strong. Quite the opposite.

It's made me a lot of things - wiser than I was, more tolerant, more understanding, I've learned a massive amount not just about who I am, but also what the illness is and does to individual people.

For example, I know for sure, working with other depressed people, that the way the symptoms present in me are not the ways that they present for other people.

I know some people respond best to therapy.

I know some people respond best to medication.

I know that 2 years is roughly the effective period of medication, and that after that time, a lot of people start going downhill and they need a medication review.

I know that people like you find ways to cope in an every day in the world, and I think that is awesome and brilliant.

I know that I wouldn't blanket that across every person who suffers from depression, anxiety or any other mental health condition.

You have a story to tell, you have experience to offer, but please don't make the mistake of thinking that a) your way will work for you forever - be aware and alert for when things are going wrong and be prepared to deal with those without thinking that you are not strong - you are clearly very strong - but just like a cold can wipe out a professional footballer, depression can wipe out a strong person and b) that you don't have a massive amount to learn from listening to other people's experience without trying to make their experience fit with your experience. They're just a number of facets to a very huge, very complicated thing.

Not for my husband.

He ended up with no career due to being so ill. His life can be hell, he is not stronger for it at all. He feels like a failure and things like taking the children to school is hard work for him with his anxiety.

I'm not stronger for having anxiety and OCD. I think dh and I would both me much stronger people if we were blessed with good mental health. I think I'm quite strong actually but it's despite of the anxiety, not because of it.

Every bad spell makes me a bit more mentally exhausted and vulnerable.

That's what i'm trying to do, weaning myself off meds to see how I cope before having a child.

Are you doing this with the supervision of your GP? A good friend ended up in a terrible state when she decided to take herself off her anti ds. It took her a really long time to get back to normal. Please beware of doing this alone.

I think talking about depression in terms of strength is stigmatising, as it implies others are weak, or that when you're most ill it's a matter of lack of willpower.

I'm bipolar so "benefit" from huge peaks and troughs. Whenever I'm "high" or normal, I feel so happy about everything that I think "why didn't I just get out of bed before? Look how great life is!". Of course, if I had got out of bed during depression, due to severe anhedonia I wouldn't have enjoyed it anyway.

I used to use depression as a guilty stick to beat myself with - "why aren't you going to the gym/doing anything useful/getting out of bed?". Now I realise that when I'm sick, to the point of being suicidal, the rest of the normal life stuff falls by the wayside and I need to up my medication until I'm back on an even keel. It's nothing about "strength" or powering through, it's just a sickness of my brain.

It's like telling someone who's so hypertensive that they're about to have a massive stroke that they shouldn't "rely on pills" and should instead use mindfulness to bring their bp down. Yes, it does bring bp down, but when you're in crisis you need medication, and there's nothing shameful or "quick fix" about it.

There is this odd opposition to pharmaceutical, as if medicine is something "leant on" not merely utilised.

Please be careful of falling into the pattern of 'im going ok, will come off meds' then crashing again. Its soul destroying. I don't know if anyone else can relate or articulate that better? Slow and steady is better ime.