Ok, subject line is not long enough so here are the details.
Been together nearly 2 yrs, fully committed, wanting to live together etc. We don't live together yet but planned to spend this whole week together.
We each booked 5 days off work. His DCs and my DCs all with other parents. All good so far.
He's self employed so in control of his time off. I'm employed so booked annual leave. My DCs only see their dad on holidays so child-free time is very rare and precious to me. They left here on Monday afternoon.
He was sick last week so needed to work one day this week (today). Fine. Possibly might need to work tomorrow too, but wouldn't have known if needed until today, so not possible to make any plans for Thursday. Bit annoying but ok I guess. Work is important. Kids back at the weekend so that only left Tuesday and Friday just for us.
He also reminded me yesterday (when mentioning the possibility of working Thursday) that he was going out for friends birthday on Thursday night (boys only). Fine. I said I will stay over and we can spend Friday together. Especially if he was having to work Wednesday and Thursday.
Ah but no. Cos he wants to invite all his mates back to his house to partake in intoxicating substances that I wholly disapprove of and he knows this, so I will definitely not want to stay over and would not be welcome anyway. They will all still probably be kicking around his house til lunchtime on Friday.
I said I don't want to be there while that's going on. He said fine, come up Friday and we'll have a lazy day together.
I said no, I don't want to drive up there (30 min drive) and spend the day watching you recover from that, drifting in and out of sleep in a darkened room! Walking around your house wondering if that white smear on the bathroom mirror is toothpaste of something else. I'm fiercely anti drugs and always have been. He told me at first it was once in a blue moon, which I accepted, just about. As long as it happens well away from me. I hate it, makes me feel weird. But nobody's perfect so ok do it once in a while if you must. But keep it away from me and mine.
So when it came to doing it this week, our week, I was really upset. My annual leave is precious! So I said maybe on this occasion you could just go out for drinks but not invite everyone back to yours, since we arranged a week together, and then I can stay over and we can have quality time on Friday together.
But apparently that's me controlling him and not accepting who he is. That's me asking him to choose, giving him an ultimatum, etc etc. That's me being demanding.
So we have split up over it.
We had other difficulties with blending families, but we were working on them all and getting somewhere slowly but surely. I bought us each a copy of stepmonster ffs. I've read mine. He hasn't touched his.
But this week's escaped is a deal breaker for me.
He thinks IABU - am I? Or is he? Honest opinions please.