AIBU to want my husband to stop doing this???

[Pennyformythoughts]

This is something I have put up with for years...my husband regularly masterbates while I'm asleep in bed with him. This is not something that would really bother me too much, but he leaves stains on the bedding and subsequently the mattress. We've recently had a new bed and mattress and I don't want it to get another hideous yellow stain! Yes I have got a mattress protector but it can only do so much. A handful of times his masterbating has woken me in the night.

Most of the time I ignore it, but a few times I have got cross and snapped. He says he does it because sometimes he can't sleep and it's his way of helping him nod off. Like I say, I wouldn't be bothered if not for the stains. I have told him I don't want our new mattress ruining and he said sorry but he still does it. I think it's become a 'thing' with him, he can't sleep therefore his answer is a good tug. I admit a few times I myself have pleasures myself in order to relax enough to drift off.

We do have a decent sex life and we're both adventurous. He is a lovely man in every way and I love him very much. We have been married nearly 10 years. I am pregnant at the moment and really off sex because I've been feeling so sick and ill. He never pesters for sex, he always lets me come to him if I'm feeling randy as he says he is always up for it so just to give him a wink. I feel guilty for us not having had sex for a while and I'm sure he's masterbating every night. What should I do? Should I put up with it? Should I say something? I don't want to be nasty.

He just needs a wank sock

I don't think I've ever met a man who goes to the bathroom to wank...

Yes, because men regularly wank onto their beds then sleep on it. I'm assuming he isn't up changing the sheets every night.

It wouldn't soak through a waterproof mattress protector, surely?

BolshierAryaStark that's the first time a post of mine has made someone spit their tea and FFS it's on a thread about wanking! ah well, I can claim to be a proper mner now I feel I need a badge or something

It might just be general testosterone man stains as per this thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/housekeeping/1872541-Pillows-DH-stains-blee

Dirty fucker assuming this is real

This thread has given me a much-needed laugh - 'only milk and juice cum in litres' . I'm having visions of wanky cartons of milk and juice now... and the sheets 'cracking like a poppadom'... oh Lord!

Not a problem for him to do this in bed but a big problem and bizarre that he is doing it and not wiping up the results. Just stick a big box of tissues next to his side of the bed.

'Crack like a poppodom'

Surely one of the best lines EVER on MN.

Grey I think you do deserve a badge.

If you're feeling generous you could buy him a 'fleshlight'. Google it.

It looks like a torch but the end screws off and it's basically a vagina shaped wank assisting vessel which he could spunk into like the filthy beast that he is

Personally behaviour like this is grounds for divorce in my eyes, despite my in-depth knowledge of male sex toys making me sound equally perverse

I have now learned to be grateful for my DH's habit of doing this in the shower. Of all the things I didn't know I should grateful for!

It will be sweat stains not jizz.
But just doing it on the sheets is grim

I don't think I'd be happy sharing a bed with someone wanking while I was asleep, because I'd be woken up but the jiggling (and my mind would be going EARTHQUAKE EARTHQUAKE), to then not clean up after yourself is pretty gross.

I'd not be happy with it. Fleshlight is a good idea.

Literally crying laughing here - reminds me of a funny line from Bridesmaids " I broke his sheet in half" said by mum in a really earnest voice about teenage son. Son is funny, husband is not!

Oh I don't know but somehow I really don't want to be reading about another woman's husband wanking and the yellow stains on the mattress when I log on to Mumsnet of a run-of-the-mill Wednesday evening.

Can't you put this in the sex topic or have some suggestion of the subject in the thread title?

Just to clarify, can I just add I didn't mean to recommend he wank into a small sleepy mammal!

Thinking of Mrs Denton in League of Gentlemen - "Semen is such a persistent stain..."

sheet cracks like a popadom hilarious !

Insist that he doesn't soil the sheets, otherwise he'll be sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag if he can't control his emissions. Disgusting.

Your mattress protector needs to be waterproof, by the way. But you shouldn't be in the position of having to have one, as most guys have learnt to aim elsewhere during puberty

Just get him to lie on a puppy training pad. When he's finished - hey presto! Just neatly whip it out from underneath him and deposit in nearest bin. Simples!

Fucking hell.

1. He shouldn't be wanking in bed while you're trying to sleep. It's impolite.

2. He is a rank fucking bastard if he spunks on the sheets and then sleeps in it. (Potential solution: he spunks on your nightie while you sleep?)

3. Men will wank anywhere. Bathrooms are positively salubrious in comparison to some potential wankspots. Make him go and do the five finger shuffle somewhere more hygienic.

4. If he needs to wank to get to sleep, perhaps some herbal non-onanistic remedies might help. Valerian root is good.

5. So he wanks, spunks over the sheets and then falls asleep? Is this post-orgasm narcolepsy normal? Seek help from a GP if so.

6. Are you a Daily Hate journalist?

7. Thank god the Easter hols are only two weeks.