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AIBU?

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AIBU to want my husband to stop doing this???

126 replies

Pennyformythoughts · 30/03/2016 16:24

This is something I have put up with for years...my husband regularly masterbates while I'm asleep in bed with him. This is not something that would really bother me too much, but he leaves stains on the bedding and subsequently the mattress. We've recently had a new bed and mattress and I don't want it to get another hideous yellow stain! Yes I have got a mattress protector but it can only do so much. A handful of times his masterbating has woken me in the night.

Most of the time I ignore it, but a few times I have got cross and snapped. He says he does it because sometimes he can't sleep and it's his way of helping him nod off. Like I say, I wouldn't be bothered if not for the stains. I have told him I don't want our new mattress ruining and he said sorry but he still does it. I think it's become a 'thing' with him, he can't sleep therefore his answer is a good tug. I admit a few times I myself have pleasures myself in order to relax enough to drift off.

We do have a decent sex life and we're both adventurous. He is a lovely man in every way and I love him very much. We have been married nearly 10 years. I am pregnant at the moment and really off sex because I've been feeling so sick and ill. He never pesters for sex, he always lets me come to him if I'm feeling randy as he says he is always up for it so just to give him a wink. I feel guilty for us not having had sex for a while and I'm sure he's masterbating every night. What should I do? Should I put up with it? Should I say something? I don't want to be nasty.

OP posts:
cece · 30/03/2016 18:04

Whatever you do do not google 'catching cum'. Hmm Shock

PhoenixReisling · 30/03/2016 18:05

What the hell is catching cum?

resists the urge to find out Grin

whois · 30/03/2016 18:06

He should use a small towel or have a big box of man size tissues to hand.

cece · 30/03/2016 18:09

I naively thought you might be able to buy some kind of vessel for catching your cum. Blush

Flumplet · 30/03/2016 18:10

I'm so sorry OP but does that not stink?!!! You poor thing!! I can't see why he can't, ahem, finish in a tissue or whatever. Who the hell likes sleeping in their own damp patch?

OnlyLovers · 30/03/2016 18:36

Phoenix, if you've found out what a posh wank is, do spill.

As it were.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 30/03/2016 18:46

Why can't he just stop and pinch the end of his foreskin (if he hasnt been circumcised never seen a circumcised knob so not sure if it can be done) when he is climaxing to stop it coming out then wipe it? Just coming all over everything is absolutely disgusting. I honestly never for a second thought someone would just come on everything and roll and go to sleep. Gads.

Tell him to get to the bathroom in future! Or bloody wipe it the minger.

Greyponcho · 30/03/2016 18:50

Ewwwwwww!!! He's a minger!
What happens when it goes cold and he's lying in a puddle of his own fresh and stale jizz??
And the smell must be horrendous! I take it he doesn't change the sheets daily, like he should?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 30/03/2016 18:52

Posh wank = wanking wearing a condom

hejsvejs · 30/03/2016 18:54

He's got enough come to create yellow stains on the mattress through a mattress protector!?!?!? Yikes, that's quite some cum!

Zucker · 30/03/2016 18:56

Introduce him to the poo towel husband, they'd get on famously.

OnlyLovers · 30/03/2016 18:56

OK, thanks Needs. Much less disgusting than I was imagining. Grin

TheEmmaDilemma · 30/03/2016 18:59

Tell him he has to clean it up after.

CheeseGerm · 30/03/2016 19:03

Assuming he doesn't instantly fall asleep as soon as he's finished, surely he can do it in the privacy of the bathroom and tidy up afterwards? How does he not mind crusting up the sheets?

Surely he notices after a week when he crawls into bed and the sheet cracks like a popadom Confused

MrsHathaway · 30/03/2016 19:14

sheet cracks like a poppadom

I am cringing and howling with laughter at the same time.

peggyundercrackers · 30/03/2016 19:31

Why would anyone suggest going to the bathroom for a wank?

I doubt very much the mattress has wank stains on it - only milk and juice cum in litres.

ohmywhatamisaying · 30/03/2016 19:43

Why would anyone suggest going to the bathroom for a wank

Why on earth not?? And following up with your questioning of cum stains on mattresses makes me wonder which planet you are visiting from

GraysAnalogy · 30/03/2016 19:52

I can't imagine getting in a comfy enough position to do it in the bathroom.

molyholy · 30/03/2016 19:57

Introduce him to the poo towel husband, they'd get on famously

Grin
peggyundercrackers · 30/03/2016 19:57

Erm... Bathrooms must be the most unlikely places ever to have a wank, they aren't comfortable at all. Sitting on the toilet having a wank or maybe standing with 1 leg up resting on the sink or bath or sitting on the bathroom floor - sorry but none of that sounds appealing at all.

OP has a sheet and a mattress topper on top of her mattress and her DHs cum still soaks through it? How much of the stuff does he produce... As I say I doubt the mattress is stained.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 30/03/2016 20:00

Poor bloke let him do it in the comfort of his own bed.,

CheeseGerm · 30/03/2016 20:00

peggy your logic is worrisome.

A wank in the shower or bath in order to relax before bed is more difficult to imagine than sleeping in a minefield of semen??

BolshierAryaStark · 30/03/2016 20:03

This thread is hilarious, the dog scratching it's ear made me spray a bit of my tea Grin
It is fucking grim though OP, dirty man.

Bambooshoots14 · 30/03/2016 20:04
Hmm
ohmywhatamisaying · 30/03/2016 20:04

Bathrooms must be the most unlikely places ever to have a wank, they aren't comfortable at all. Sitting on the toilet having a wank or maybe standing with 1 leg up resting on the sink or bath or sitting on the bathroom floor - sorry but none of that sounds appealing at all.

hahaha, you really don't know men at all Wink

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