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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask our guest not to eat the baby-food?

254 replies

IslandCanary · 30/03/2016 15:02

DH's friend and his partner are staying for a few nights. I've met her on 2 occasions, she seems very nice, normal, friendly.

On their arrival I told them to help themselves to anything from kitchen, showed them the snacks cupboard, fruit, fridge etc. Plenty of biscuits, chocolate, crackers, cake, yogurts, cheese etc. Baby food is in bottom half of cupboard.

This morning I found 2 empty jars of Heinz baby porridge in the recycling, along with an empty pouch of purred mango. Mid-morning I noticed her eating a baby cocoa-vanilla dessert straight from the jar! Confused

I don't know what to do! DH thinks it's hilarious and says not to mention it. I'm irritated as the jars are expensive, they are for DS and there is plenty of other food.

AIBU to think this is really weird and rude? Should I hide the jars or let her carry on?

OP posts:
NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 30/03/2016 15:56

It is odd. But tbh I'd also find it odd to backtrack on the previous "help yourself to whatever you like" conversation with "oh, but not the baby food".

I didn't use jars so don't know the price, but surely you wouldn't say something equivalent about other expensive food? "Help yourself to whatever you want from the cupboards. Oh, wait. Please can you stop eating my caviar, it's very expensive."

Hide it if you want... But making her feel bad about taking you at your word and 'helping herself' would be being a bad host IMO.

catsinthecraddle · 30/03/2016 15:59

to be fair, pouch of fruits are quite nice

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2574024-To-use-my-babys-Ellas-peach-pouch?trending=1

Lweji · 30/03/2016 16:00

YABVU for using baby food jars or pouches. Wink secretly wishes DS would eat any when he was a baby

Surely cheese is expensive too? And chocolate. And crackers?

Katarzyna79 · 30/03/2016 16:00

come on its insane ppl saying theres no difference between adult food and baby food. if you want to talk about home made food versus store bought baby food please do in another thread, why try to make snidy comments i.e "i don't see the difference" "baby water and tap water" i mean come on ppl can read between the lines it's b.s.

i made my own food too woopy ding dong why throw it in other ppls faces do we want medals? i don't think it makes these parents bad parents, theyre doing the best they can.

IHaveBrilloHair · 30/03/2016 16:00

I've been eating babyfood recently, for major tummy issues, I know it's weird but it's easy to digest.
I wouldn't do it outside of my own home though, and if I had to stay somewhere I'd take my own, same as I'd take my prescribed meal replacement drinks and explain the situation.
It's a really odd thing to do in someone else's house.

OnlyLovers · 30/03/2016 16:05

Is the baby food the only ready to grab food you have?

No, the OP says there's 'fruit... biscuits, chocolate, crackers, cake, yogurts, cheese etc.'

She's a weirdo. Just say mildly 'Can you not eat the baby food please?' If you're feeling generous I wouldn't you could ask if there's anything snacky she likes that you could get in for her.

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser · 30/03/2016 16:07

I feel like the people who think it would be back-tracking or mean spirited to ask her not to eat the expensive baby food are missing the point. Which is not that she is eating expensive food, it's that she is eating BABY food. From jars! It's very, very strange.

Surely she doesn't realise? Is the packaging not clear enough?

The right thing to do is probably to mention to her in a casual way what she is doing, but I personally would find it too awkward, so I would probably just hide the baby food.

OurBlanche · 30/03/2016 16:07

Ah! Play nice!!

Ask her what yoghurts/other sweet stuff she prefers for breakfast and tell her you'll pick up omse 'proper' stuff for her, to save her eating the baby food, cos you know it always tastes a bit odd to an adult palate.

Then smile, sincerely, and walk away knowing you have been the Hostess with the Mostest!

But that is bloody weird for an adult to do!

NeedsAsockamnesty · 30/03/2016 16:07

Do people in others houses really think that help yourself means to anything?

So if you were a guest in someone's house and got up early it would be ok to roast a joint of beef or eat all the steaks got in for dinner for your breakfast?

KoalaDownUnder · 30/03/2016 16:08

I agree with NellWilson.

I don't know how much baby food is, but it can't be more than good-quality adult snack food, surely. And you were happy for her to eat that.

Of course it's utterly weird for an adult guest to eat the baby food, but please don't embarrass her. Just hide the rest of it.

theAntsareMyFriends · 30/03/2016 16:09

One of my friends guests ate their guinea pig food and then commented on what a lovely brand of muesli they had.

Compared with this baby food seems normal.

GrumpyMummy123 · 30/03/2016 16:10

That is really odd! I know it's the done thing to tell guests help yourself... but within reason!

An adult guest scoffing the baby food is weird. In fact guests helping themself to more than tea, coffee, biscuits or toast I find a bit presumptuous! There's nothing more annoying than finding the guest has eaten something you were saving for something particular!

expatinscotland · 30/03/2016 16:10

It's an odd thing to do in someone else's house, because you assume that food is for the baby in there, not general consumption. Afraid I don't see it as funny. I would probably reiterate, 'Feel free to help yourself to anything but please, please leave the baby's food for him to eat.'

rumbuba · 30/03/2016 16:14

This is so very strange!
And it's not about the expense as such, but what if OP goes to grab a couple of jars of something on her way out of the door with DS and there's nothing left... She knew how much of whatever DS food there should be and wouldn't necessarily have accounted for someone else eating it and the time to pop to a shop to buy extra for that trip.
Sounds a bit hypothetical but i was always in a mad rush getting to this class or that meet up. If someone had been eating my baby's on the go food I'd be annoyed. I think have a quiet word, offer to get in more adult snacks, then hide the baby food.

YoJesse · 30/03/2016 16:15

Sorry but this is so funny, as in laughing out loud on the bus funny!
Who goes through someone else's cupboards eating baby food Confused?
farleys rusks obviously being the only exception, I've got through a pack at a time of those

MackerelOfFact · 30/03/2016 16:15

If she doesn't have children and has never ventured down the baby food aisle in the supermarket, chances are she doesn't recognise it as baby food and just thinks you buy some weird brand in tiny portions.

I'd hide it and put the normal food in a more prominent place!

AGnu · 30/03/2016 16:18

Puree her dinner.

KoalaDownUnder · 30/03/2016 16:18

I agree that saying 'help yourself' doesn't mean open slather.

At the same time, I'm cringing at the thought of some of these responses. I think that embarrassing a guest by asking them not to eat something is even ruder than the original faux pas.

FarrowandBallAche · 30/03/2016 16:20

No way?!?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 30/03/2016 16:21

So it's ok to be rude/annoying but not ok for anybody to tell you that you were rude/annoying.

I now know why so many people have piss taking friends and family

ElderlyKoreanLady · 30/03/2016 16:23

I'd be really torn between amusement and annoyance.

It's not that she likes baby food that's funny. It's funny that she likes it so much that she's happy to be open about that liking. So open, in fact, that she's eating food that another person has bought for their baby, in the full knowledge it isn't going unnoticed.

I'd be annoyed because she's assuming that her host's hospitality extends to eating foods that are very obviously reserved for her baby. 'Help yourself to whatever you want to eat' doesn't mean you can eat baby food, dog food, sponges or pages of books if they're so inclined. as examples, obviously. It relates specifically to things that could reasonably be assumed to be for that person's consumption. The fact that these jars are probably not for immediate consumption is neither here nor there. Being a good host very obviously doesn't extend to "take food obviously meant for the baby."

MackerelOfFact · 30/03/2016 16:25

Assuming these are the ones she had, none of them actually say 'baby' anywhere prominently on them.

Heinz baby porridge
Hipp mango puree
Hipp cocoa and vanilla dessert

I doubt she realises TBH. Say something!

YakTriangle · 30/03/2016 16:26

I remember a girl at school taking up eating jars of baby food for lunch because she decided it would be a very 'pure' way of eating and she wanted to lose weight. Confused

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 30/03/2016 16:26

Nowt so queer as folk.

...and by god they all seem to appear on MN 😁

I personally think they're rank, but each to their own! However, even when your host has said 'help yourself' no one with any manners dives into 'special' food, whether that's baby food, gluten free, lactose free or whatever without checking it's ok and if there's still enough for the person that needs it. It's just manners.

Personally I'd have to ask her why she chooses to eat it, given most adults can't abide it & see if there's anything else you can get for her. But I'm pretty open/forward. If you don't want to ask then it's only a few days, I'd just leave her to it. If you're running low for DS either hide some or ask her if she has any special baby food requests when you go to get more.

If you go to stay at theirs I'd take some secret supplies in case she serves jars for dinner Grin

WilLiAmHerschel · 30/03/2016 16:27

I've read about a 'babyfood diet'. The diet is eating small jars of babyfood instead of normal sized adult portions of food. And voilà you barely have any calories and lose weight!

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