To expect an apology?

[Libertymae]

On holiday with DH's siblings and their children in a five bed house owned by my PIL. There are 20 of us in total - 'children' range in age from 8 to 25. First time PIL not been here (due to illness) to keep everyone in check.

DH and I sharing bedroom with 2 DSs. Little one wakes at 2am and asks me to take him to the loo. When I get up, I notice the light is on in the room my DD (age 13) is supposed to be sharing with her cousin (age 16). I look in, there is a third cousin there (age 17) and a boy on a mattress on the floor that I have never seen before, chatting. My DD is awake looking bewildered.

Turns out the two cousins (siblings) have been out to the pub and the boy is a friend from home. I say I'm not very happy about DD being woken up, or by the fact there is someone we don't know now sleeping in her room. Go back to my DH, who storms into their room, takes DD's mattress off her bed and puts it in the room we are sleeping in. He gives the cousins a piece of his mind re: thoughtlessness, DD 13, should be asleep at 2am etc. IMHO, it was moderate given the time and situation but there was some swearing. All over in less than 30 seconds.

This morning, I had (naively?) assumed there would be an apology from cousins, their parents would be a bit cross with them, and that it would all blow over.

Instead, it turns out 16 year old cousin left the house and walked a mile to his friend's house where he ended up sleeping. His parents realised he wasn't in the house at about 4am, and are furious with us for apparently intimating that friend was a rapist, and having such a go at the boys that they felt he couldn't sleep here. No mention of unreasonableness of waking a 13 yo at 2am. (BTW - Never any suggestion that friend was anything other than someone we didn't know. I did ask why they weren't sleeping in a different room, with older cousins who had also been out.)

I'm pretty gobsmacked that they think their DC's behaviour was even remotely ok! AIBU?

If the DD had been younger, 8 or 9 she would probably gone to tell her parents, but at 13 she would not have wanted to seem childish, or telling tales, she probably admires her older cousins and was in a difficult situation. The father was quite right to go in and tell them their behaviour was not appropriate, My sons would have certainly been told about something like this. I know times have changed but families still have the right to be protective of 13 year olds.

Sylvia, it is precisely because I remember what it was like to be a teen that I remember how troubled I would have felt if an older boy I did not know had appeared when I was in bed with my sleeping togs on. And how completely unable I would have felt to have voiced that or complained in any way. Maybe some 13yos would have the confidence to say "I feel embarrassed about this" to a strange 16yo; I certainly wouldn't.

i'm with you and your dh. I'd be furious too.The parents obv do not consider your 13 yr old dd to be on an equal basis with their 16 yr old son. Did you know the 16 was going out to the pub?