Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think it's not just me that obsessively cleans if he HV is coming?

72 replies

Sothisishowitfeels · 29/03/2016 14:41

The health visitor is coming Thursday because my gp contacted her to say I have PND . Of course I have been scrubbing the living room and pretty much anywhere her gaze may fallGrin (the rest of the house can rot away for all I care).

My dh thinks it's crazy but it's not just me is it! Other people do this .... Right??

OP posts:
Cornettoninja · 29/03/2016 14:49

Nope, but then I leap into action whenever we have one off visitors.

Just as a gentle aside, I'm pretty sure HV's are taught to look for signs of things being too clean and perfect as a sign things aren't quite right.

Maybe distraction with jammy dodgers would be better than a full spring clean Smile

mouldycheesefan · 29/03/2016 14:52

No I never did that. Had twins there was no time to scrub anywhere.
Health visitors go to total dumps, a bit of normal messiness does not bother them. Mine left her coat outside once she said it stank from previous home she had visited. So please don't scrub everywhere, no need,

waffilyversati1e · 29/03/2016 14:54

No but I do clean when I am anxious. Don't be nervous. Your HV is offering a friendly ear and support. She isn't coming to judge your Nigellaness.

How are you today?

RudeElf · 29/03/2016 14:54

I do when anyone is coming.

UmbongoUnchained · 29/03/2016 14:56

I tidy and clean when I have ANY visitors. Apart from my best friend. I just ask him to excuse the state of my life and don't judge me being in my pyjamas at 3pm

RudeElf · 29/03/2016 14:56

I'm pretty sure HV's are taught to look for signs of things being too clean and perfect as a sign things aren't quite right.

Are you certain? Please dont say it unless you are certain. That kind of worry would send my anxiety through the roof.

MrsKoala · 29/03/2016 14:56

No, not after the children were born. I did before she came when i was pregnant with DS1 and she actually said to me she was concerned the house was so clean and tidy and did i realise it wouldn't be like this after the baby was here and it was normal to prioritise sleeping and cuddling etc over cleaning. I said yes. Then when she came after ds1 was born she actually heaved an audible sigh of relief and said 'this is more like it'.

Don't worry OP.

BlackMarigold · 29/03/2016 14:57

I never bothered cleaning before the HV came, they expect a house with a new baby in it to look "lived in".
I think they'd be more likely to worry if house looked immaculate.

MrsKoala · 29/03/2016 14:59

x post Rude. She was quite concerned and even mentioned it to my mum.

gruffaloshmuffalo · 29/03/2016 15:01

I did. I had pnd with my eldest too. She was lovely! It was the hv in charge who came to see me. I spotted cried all over her while she stroked my back and told me everything was going to be ok.

Just teared up remembering that! She said everything that my mom would have said if my mom was there (parents lived abroad at the time)

RudeElf · 29/03/2016 15:02

Wow i find that quite shocking. I was very lucky to have an easy baby with my first child and my house was immaculate. Not because i was paranoid or anxious but because that was just how i always kept a house. My anxiety only kicked in with DS2. Interestingly that was when i struggled with the house.

Seeyounearertime · 29/03/2016 15:03

Our new health visitor had to wade through ankle deep kinder toys, she didn't seem bothered. Grin

I think they're more interested in Mum and baby than in how clean a house is tbh.

elliejjtiny · 29/03/2016 15:03

Yes. The hv phoned to say she wanted to see they boys bedroom last year, their room has never looked so tidy! sending you an unmumsnetty hug, I've got pond at the moment and it makes you feel rubbish.

flanjabelle · 29/03/2016 15:03

I make sure that it is clean and tidy, but I don't go into meltdown mode about it. As long as the hoover has been put round, the sides in the kitchen are clean and the bathroom is clean, that's good enough. I really do think it would have to be in a terrible state for them to worry. Normal household mess is not a problem.

waffilyversati1e · 29/03/2016 15:04

Just thought, have a look at the MIND fb page to see if they have a course in your area called "connecting mums". Its about 6 weeks once a week where a group of you meet up (anxiety, PND or just feeling a bit lonely) and chat about coping strategies. I eye rolled all the way there the first day but it was actually really helpful.

flanjabelle · 29/03/2016 15:04

Ellie can I be nosy and ask why they wanted to see the boys bedroom? That seems awfully intrusive!

5minutestobed · 29/03/2016 15:04

I wouldn't obsessively clean but I would clean yes, I also clean more when anxious though. Don't do too much OP, have a cuppa and some baby cuddles.

Original poster
Sothisishowitfeels · 29/03/2016 15:05

I have 6 children under 11 - I don't think it will ever be perfect I took all he couch covers to wash yesterday Blush and today when I went in today I sat down and realised I had my arm in a creme egg someone had mashed into the armAngry

OP posts:
Original poster
Sothisishowitfeels · 29/03/2016 15:06

Ellie he bedrooms Shock I haven't even looked in there (rocks back and forth )

OP posts:
StitchesInTime · 29/03/2016 15:07

I do a tidy and clean for most visitors.

JeanGenie23 · 29/03/2016 15:09

A Hoover and a good dust will suffice. Maybe light a candle!

Don't worry, hope it goes well for you Thanks

wannadancethenightaway · 29/03/2016 15:22

My DC was born on a Monday morning after gruelling labour then an emergency section. I got out on the Wednesday and the midwife came by on the Thursday mid morning. It was a beautiful day and I was up and dressed and the house was tidy, baby sleeping in chair etc. Picture of domestic bliss because I thought that what they wanted to see and the midwife was ShockHmmConfused not happy at all. She wanted to see a bit of chaos in the house. The HV was the same. I prefer a tidy house but they really really really do want to see a bit of normality. Needless to say my section scar was burning when the midwife showed up for her first visit from my pants rubbing and I jumped into a housecoat the moment she left and didn't come out of it for about...14 months? Grin

CigarsofthePharoahs · 29/03/2016 15:39

I remember one of the few times I snapped at Dh.
I'd just had our first child. First day back from hospital, midwife rings and asks if she can come in an hour. I ask Dh to bloody get up and do a quick tidy in the living room so I've got time for a quick shower (she was going to check my stitches) and clean clothes.
Half an hour later I find him dithering around still in pj's having done nothing at all! The midwife arrived early and with a trainee in tow. My lounge at the time had plenty of places to sit, except during the 48 hours I was in hospital dh had managed to scatter clutter over all but one seat. I was so embarrassed, especially as the midwife ended up spending the whole time crouched on the floor. Dh was still flapping about and had barely even managed to get some pants on when the doorbell went.
By the way, my baby was fast asleep so he didn't even have that excuse.
For the following HV visits, I didn't do an excessive clean, but I did make sure the room was tidy and that the chairs were clear!

Original poster
Sothisishowitfeels · 29/03/2016 15:52

Thanks everyone I think I'm just going to try and keep it as it is - I probably don't need to clean behind the couches..

OP posts:
ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 29/03/2016 15:53

With my first dc I used to clean like mad then open the door to the hv and apologise for the mess. I have no idea why.

Now I have 5 dc, they can take me as they find me I haven't got time for deep cleaning every time the hv wants to stick her head in.

Swipe left for the next trending thread