Aibu to think it's not just me that obsessively cleans if he HV is coming?

[Sothisishowitfeels]

The health visitor is coming Thursday because my gp contacted her to say I have PND . Of course I have been scrubbing the living room and pretty much anywhere her gaze may fall (the rest of the house can rot away for all I care).

My dh thinks it's crazy but it's not just me is it! Other people do this .... Right??

Beaufort- I take sertraline and I see my gp every two weeks atm.
I think I had so many tests in hospital they must have checked all that I know my iron was fine! The only thing that came up was (obviously!) the flu and a fast heart of around 150bpm at its worst

I wouldn't worry about it. In my experience health visitors/social workers are concerned about things like completely bare fridges/cupboards, no bedding, no clean clothes, animal mess, no toys at all. They're only going to worry about perfectly clean/tidy if it's at the expense of care for the child. I'd have a quick tidy up before they came, as for any prearranged visitor, but wouldn't worry about it.

Crabbit that made me feel all warm and fuzzy, even though it was about poo.

Op, you are going to be ok. You are looking for help, being honest about how you are feeling and doing all the right things. You superwoman. You are being an absolutely awesome mum who is having a tough time, but is making all the right decisions to move forward positively. I hope your hv can be as wonderfully supportive as mine has.

If cleaning the house makes you feel better about her coming, then do it. If it doesn't make you feel better then don't bother because they aren't expecting a show home.

sothis a fast heart is a symptom of an overactive thyroid; as is anxiety and losing weight. I had PND after DS1 and a contributory factor was that my thyroid flipped in late pg and it wasn't picked up because they weren't measuring the right thyroid hormone. I really think it would be worth checking full thyroid bloods were done and having them rechecked. Ask to be referred to an endocrinologist with an interest in fatigue related illnesses. I wish you well - can someone go to the doctor with you to be your advocate?

I cannot cope with them coming to my house. It sends my anxiety levels crazy. So I go them :-) Last check up my DS had I offered to go to their office as I said we liked going out. Meant I didn't worry about the house!!

I've done a few visits with a hv s d been in both very tidy and very untidy and dirty homes. The hv I was with was brilliant, she was supporting a woman who obviously has difficulty in keeping the house tidy and had arranged support to help her to clean more (at the request of the mother herself, not imposed upon her).
I also went in several immaculately clean houses and it was never mentioned as a red flag; they are trained to take in the whole picture and cleanliness on its own would never be a cause for concern ime. They don't have enough resources to target them at people merely for dusting regularly.

Yay to thyroid issues mentioned above. Did you tell your GP about them? It physically feels like anxiety, but not really emotionally (the best way I can describe them!) low mood is also another symptom. Post natal thyroid issues are common.

Yy not yah, bloody autocorrect!

I remember the HV who came to visit us not batting an eyelid when the cat leapt out of the Moses basket (dd wasn't in it at the time, but still ).
To be fair to the lovey HV, she was pretty shaken up, and told us (in the broadest terms, with no remotely possible identifying details) that she'd just been to a home from which they were looking to remove the baby, because the parents had dangerous dogs which they were refusing to get rid of, despite (as I understood it) realising that their dc could not therefore safely remain there. She was hours later than the agreed time - but when we heard this we very much forgave her!
Puts it all into perspective, really.
OP, do hope you are ok. Look after yourself.

When my HV came round at first when DD was born, I had PND and a baby who did.not.sleep, so was always in my PJs when he came round. 10 mins before he was due I used to do a very quick Hoover round the mess and lint roller the cat fur off the sofa (my white cat started stress shedding when we brought the baby home, that was fun). He didn't bat an eyelid.

Just had a 'welcome to the area' visit from a HV a few weeks ago (we have been here a year). I cleaned from top to bottom (good excuse to get round to it really), and I got now 3yo DD to help keep her playroom and bedroom tidy 'to show the health visitor'. Of course HV only went in the living room and wasn't arsed about the rest of the house at all, cue very disappointed DD who dragged the poor HV into her playroom so she could show her how tidy it was. Somewhat gave the game away.

I hope the answers have reassured you that the health visitor is not coming to inspect your house but to offer you support for your post natal depression. Sometimes an independant professional listener can help you download your anxieties and help to alleviate some of your symptoms.
In reply to a previous question the HV cannot prescribe or refer to any other therapies for depression. This would be the GPS job. The HV is a listener and a assessor of family health needs. If there was isolation she could refer to a support group,specialised parent infant massage group or to an outreach childrens centre worker. She could refer to Homestart for a volunteer to help in the home. This would be the role as well as advising on baby care if the mother was worried about looking after the baby so as not to stress about attending a clinic.
Hope you feel better soon . As well as visiting mums with depression I suffered from it with both my children and know how difficult it can be to cope .

Thanks everyone

I am really trying to just take any help I can.

In regards to thyroid I haven't mentioned the racing heart etc to the gp I just assumed it was another anxiety symptom it didn't occur to me too. I did mention that I was breathless and coughing and she gave me an inhaler. I don't normally have asthma or anything.

I am not losing weight though? The only other things I have is that i have developed excema for the first time in my life and I feel feverish even though I am not! And of course tiredness. Again I assumed anxiety so haven't really gone on too much about it to the gp

But if you feel it might be relevant I will mention in when I go back in a few weeks.

So, do you agree then Jaffa that HV should stop being universal so that resources can be freed up for more specialist services to support those in need of clinical care, especially around mental health.

When DD had one of her first HV visits, we looked over into the Moses basket to see red felt pen all over her forehead and a dead spider a few cm from her nose. DS (2.5 at the time) had been fiddling with her when we were out of the room.

My lovely HV (retired now, sadly) just said..."Ah, he's sharing his love of art and nature with her, how lovely!"

Don't worry, op.

Overactive thyroid leads to feeling very hot as though your thermostat is over-reacting. I also developed eczema, or what I thought wad eczema on my shins. I might be barking up the wrong tree op, but this is worth being checked for. And deadly tiredness whilst feeling wired. Do you also have a slight tremor in your hands?

Have a look at the British Thyroid Foundation website. Perhaps see your GP this week, if only to check it out. If it's contributing the sooner you get treated the sooner you will start to feel better.

I do this.
My dog was a guard dog though we think and is very house defensive he's fine once people are in but I think the hv is scared of him as we go to the clinic now.

I live abroad now and SO much prefer having a paediatrician in a clinic for the baby stuff, a GP for any potential pnd stuff and a gynocologist for the physical post birth stuff....and none of them in my house! It made dc2 a lot less stressful! I swear not having post birth checks at home, mentions of their social work role and baby weigh ins ad infinitum really kept me on the right side of pnd this time. For me it was the kind of 'help' you don't need.

I think you've summed up the situation perfectly oddity. Anything less than that model isn't good enough. Referrals, prescriptions, etc, need to be secured through the GP anyway so it's just a layer of additional, invasive bureacracy for 90% of new mothers. The 20% who might need a service need a much better service and could easily be identified during the antenatal period.

It is a shocking waste of resources.

Cornettoninja is quite right about that OP. They aren't there to judge you. I never cleaned the place top to bottom, when they called . I didn't even straighten the place up a bit. I think I actually got one to make us both a cuppa once.