to go to A&e with my dd3 *pictures*

[littlemaemae]

My DD who is 3 has been having stomach/bowel problems for the last year. Diagnose as constipation. She can not pass a stool for weeks despite fantastic diet and laxatives and weeks is in severe pain most days. She is very petite and skinny but her stomach has swollen to look 9 months pregnant. Getting no where with doctors/hospital etc.
Aibu to think this is not how a heathy child's stomach should look.

Go to a and e. You are being fobbed off.

Use pull ups for the mess!
And holidays, well it's a good time surely? no need to venture out, baths on tap, pardon the pun!
We will be doing exactly the same next week!

I remember the frustration, wanting it to be sorted straight away.

I would get in the car and go to your parents house and take her to the a&e there.

the movical and continence team can't do anything for its not constipation. there's a reason.they suggested an x ray amd piling more things into her when nothings moving out and they haven't even had a look.to see what's going on could just cause her more damage.

the Dr last night agreed there could be something going on. none of which would he helped by more food and more liquid.

your gp is just fobbing you off again. so any refusal.of treatment or any query of diagnosis and it's you that's being awkward amd he's "done his bit"

trust your instincts on this. why would movical help now when it hasn't befire.

if it's not

not for

Try to get an appointment with a different GP if you think this one is not doing his/her job. You are right to try to change surgery if that is the best.

In the mean time can you get the phone number of the consultant you are being referred to and phone them to see how long you are likely to have to wait ? If it is too long ask if you can go private. Sometimes with children, if you patiently explain the situation, they might go a bit quicker. Perhaps ask for advice on how to look after her while you wait? (Btw if you suspect food intolerance specially coeliac its important to get diagnosis before eliminating gluten from diet as the tests for coeliac dont work if you are not eating gluten - this is a good reason to request appointment as soon as possible.)

The GP may not be authorised to request the blood tests or Xrays on small child, they may have to go to peadiatric ward, maybe the GP has no power. But he has not explained it to you properly if he has left you feeling like this.

There is nothing to stop you writing your own brief and clear letter to the same consultant explaining what you have said so eloquently in this post. Keep to the facts, give them all the information about symptoms and how long it has been going on, you could briefly mention what conditions you are concerned about but let them decide.

My coeliac son had a rubbish time when he was a toddler with doctors telling me I was an awkward case so I feel for you. Look after yourself. Dont let the b***s get you down. You are doing a good job.
While waiting perhaps you could take her for a walk in the fresh air and have some fun to help her relax. I find gentle exercise helps with most things, including stress and digestion.

go to a&e, should be relatively quiet today.

a word of caution regarding going privately: diagnostics (scans, bloodtests) can be incredibly expensive. we paid about 5k last year for mri, ct, biopsy. money well spent though in our case and worth not going on holiday instead.

Good luck, hope the continence team are more use than your GP.

I agree with pushing to see a specialist and also looking into the possibility of allergies - (cow's milk protein and/or gluten).

When you change GPs, you won't have to speak to your current one again, just ask the receptionist for an appointment with a different GP. If they are at all difficult about it, just register at another practice - all your records will be forwarded on to them and you won't have anything to do with your old GP ever again.

I am so, so sorry your daughter's health is being dismissed by the GP. That was truly shitty advice. I know exactly the feeling you have of feeling hopeless when something has gone on so long, nothing has improved and your daughter is not getting the right HELP.

I recommend looking up the NICE guidelines on child constipation. Someone linked to them earlier. Print them out, take them to appts, refer to them. These documents do have power, I know, have used it.

Are you able to gather up your strength, do one more push and take your DD to A&E today? You could you take your other child with you? I really think it is right thing for your DD and you. You will get your DD seen and you will honestly feel better and less disempowered than being at home and stuck feeling powerless.

I so hope things get sorted for your DD. It's an absolutely dreadful situation for you all.

Do you think she needs A&E? Is that what your instincts are telling you? If they are then you go. I have anxiety, I know how hard it is to stand up for yourself if you aren't good at it and not feeling strong, but sometimes you have to do things which are way out of your comfort zone and I know how hard that is but if you think that is what she needs then you take her. You might not even need to fight, you just need to lay down all the facts and they will take it from there.

They are unlikely to fob you off at A&E in my experience and they are extra careful with children, if they think she needs instant help they will give it to her.

If you think you can wait until you speak to the incontinence team and see what they say then they might be helpful and even suggest her going to hospital themselves.

You do what you think needs to be done, but try not to let your anxiety sway your decision. As someone else said, if I was going to take someone to A&E I wouldn't choose after 6.00pm to take them for all the reasons stated.

So follow your instincts, if you think she needs A&E take her and you will do just fine.

Continence lady coming at 4pm

I know I am being pathetic and weak. My anxiety is through the roof and self worth through the floor.

Every decision I make, every thought I think - I doubt myself.

I am so good at supporting other people but I am useless when it comes to myself.

I know I could get in the car and go to a and e but I am in no place emotionally to get myself heard or respected.

BTW, if she has a small anus then I'm not sure of movicol would actually be able to help that much?

I don't know much about that, but if you have been told she has a small anus which might need dilation therapy then I would want that checked out again before giving her something that might not even be able to make a difference. If she is going to struggle to pass a BM to her anus then I would want that checked out before giving her loads of it.

I don't want to sound nasty here but fact is, this isn't about you and your self worth.

This is about your daughter who needs help.

Go to a and e and asked to be seen. Tell them the OOH doctor advised an X Ray.

You are her parent, not the other way around

Your poor little girl :( I have no advice to give but I'm so sorry you are going through this and I am horrified at the treatment you've had from your GP.

Also, re: the anorexia, PLEASE don't blame yourself, it is an illness. You were ill. It is NOT your fault.

Do you have the phone number for continence nurse team? Because if you do, ring them and they may be able to get her in for x Ray etc anyway

This thread has reduced me to tears.

Your poor DD. I have been on painkillers after an op and didn't poo for 4 days and I thought that was bad.

I hope you manage to get some resolution.

I am going to book to see another gp in the morning re the small anus.

I am going to give the continence team a chance, she will be here I'm a few hours. I need to be seen to be following all the advice and support offered.
Or they can't throw that at me saying I haven't followed the advice.

I hold no help for the movicol but if I am seem to be trying then they have to suggest something else as a next step surely.

To poster who said I am her parent not the other way around.
I know that is true.
But I'm sure most mother can relate to how awful it is for children being pulled here and there while mum is snappy, emotional, irrational and feeling on the edge. It's very scary can be very distressing especially for my older DD.

I am exhausted and confused and probably making bad decisions, this has been everyday life for so long it's hard to get my head round it now being an emergency iyswim

I understand that you are anxious but your DD needs A&E. If there is a problem with her anus, no amount of movicol will help.
I used to look after a child who had fecale impaction, thry always needed an enema, given in A&E.

Littlemae - and it's probably making you feel more anxious us all suggesting you go to A&E alone when you really find that thought hard.

What would probably happen, if you did, is you'd get to the desk and burst into tears. Someone calm will talk you through it. You may have a wait, but you take a game you can play with your DDs. They may enjoy your undivided attention. Someone will eventually see you. You'll tell them your daughter is in distress and cry again. You'll tell them how worried you are. That you've been giving conflicting information and all you know and can think about is your daughter is suffering and no one is helping you or taking you seriously. Someone will hear you and see you're at the end of your tether. You will most likely get kindness and help.

That would be my hope for you.

Your anxiety is not a bad thing. You have already moved mountains.

If that is the decision you have come to that is fine

Give the team a chance, but if it doesn't help then you can revisit the idea of A&E if you still think it is needed.

Littlemaemae - your posts are very coherent and intelligent- maybe print some of it out? And use it to give yourself confidence when you take her to A&E? You can either read it out or hand it to them to read.

Put in it the main points Eg. No poo for however many days, the treatments and dietary changes you have already tried, and the uncomfortable symptoms your DD is suffering.

BTW you are doing really well

Of course I can understand it.

One of my children was rushed to hospital and pinned down to have a canula put in her foot for antibiotics.

I felt awful and drained but I knew it had to be done.

You find the strength somewhere and this is where you need to be strong.

Break down in private, sob, throw things at the wall.

Cry at the doctors if that what it takes but you can do it!

I was with you until you started making this about your self worth and saying it was too difficult to go to A&E with your other children. Your daughter needs to be in A&E. This is NOT about you.