to go to A&e with my dd3 *pictures*

[littlemaemae]

My DD who is 3 has been having stomach/bowel problems for the last year. Diagnose as constipation. She can not pass a stool for weeks despite fantastic diet and laxatives and weeks is in severe pain most days. She is very petite and skinny but her stomach has swollen to look 9 months pregnant. Getting no where with doctors/hospital etc.
Aibu to think this is not how a heathy child's stomach should look.

Dp's parents have offered to pay for private treatment.
I have been very reluctant to take them up on it, but I think it's time to take this help which we really do appreciate.
A lovely lady has PMd me some info on the best hospital and a particular doctor to try to see, in London. Which Is an hour on the train for us. So would be very manageable.
Going to get dp on the case

I'm so sorry
What a gobshite.
Just spoken to DH who has actually advised going to A and E. This way you would be seen by the relevant team as an almost 'forced' admission.
This is hideous for you to be going through and it's time to push to the front and get this sorted.
For anyone wishing to pile in - this IS an emergency. A small child is in pain, her body isn't functioning correctly, she is at risk of her bowel perforating if things continue. She needs full investigation.

take the money. seriously. and fir the person who has sent a recommendation.

and when you get your answer, I would think about a making a formal complaint.

your poor dd

I feel sick on your behalf. Your poor DD. Do whatever you have to immediately, but can you also concurrently demand a second opinion? I am so damn sorry. This is exactly the sort of thing that makes me crazy.

If I believed a GP was not being rigorous enough, and if I knew my DD was in proper distress, I would also wrote a formal complaint to the practice and I would list, in detail, her symptoms and I would describe the degree of distress she was under. I would make sure there was a written record, in my words, of what they were ignoring.

I did this for myself when I was being fobbed off in one of my MCs. I don't know why writing it made a difference, but things changed.

I am so sorry!

Your poor did! Hope you get sorted asap

Is the doctor you want to see based in an nhs hospital? When dd was 4 weeks old we had an awful time as knew she had a milk allergy but was getting nowhere with doctor/hv/local a&e

I found a consultant on Bupa that was recommended then found that he worked in our nearest city's hospital. I took her to the children's a&e there but during the day and after an assessment they agreed with the milk allergy thought and was seen very quickly in his clinic but on nhs. Just a thought

Sometimes you need to take yourself to a big hospital with the relevant consultants rather than the local one who would have to refer. I'd ring and see which ones have a paed a&e

Just spoke to DH. I feel very distressed about this.

Another opinion: He said go to A&E and sit it out if you are very worried. You are her parents and you have to trust YOUR instincts. You know your DD, we don't and nor does this fuckwit GP. You now have conflicting advice and in the middle of it is a small child in distress. It makes my blood boil.

I feel awful for you. So sorry your having to go through this.

I don't know why I haven't changed gps earlier.
She was unwell in December I was told it was just a cold. I knew it wasn't a cold, she was coughing nonstop, grunting and had fevers every day for a week.
She had pneumonia and was an emergency admission on Only had 1 lung working and has only just fully recovered.
I made a complaint and I was called by the practice manager then a gp who told me I was unreasonable.
I'm thinking from what you have said that they sent me down the wrong path to avoid a proper formal complaint.
I am going to have to get my head together and write a formal complaint about her current treatment. this gp practice is appalling.

I would honestly go to A&E now. I'm a nurse (ITU), I know all about the pressures on A&E departments from inappropriate attendance. This is not inappropriate. You've tried to get help via your GP. An OOH GP has said you need an xray. The GP won't refer you for one. Lactulose isn't going to clear an impacted stool.

This is terrible I'd be going back to A&E and demanding something done

Take a notepad to A and E with you!
Try and make a factual timeline of events (this will also be helpful for the medics who see her in hospital rather the you repeating things ad infinitum)
This is in no shape or form your fault!! You've been misled by everyone in that practice.
Definitely consider PALS as an advocate for you, especially if they tend to trample over you speaking etc.

She needs to see a gastroenterologist.

I'd go to A&E. Tell them that your GP is refusing to refer for further investigations and won't even authorise an x ray. Tell them that she has a long history of no BMs for up to six weeks and the GP only suggests Lactulose

Seriously, go to A&E. You can consider going private at a later date, but you don't have time for that now. Your DD needs to be treated TODAY.

I have wondered if writing a complaint, in my case, forced them to be more careful with me in case things did go wrong, and in case they would be held fully liable.

In my case they were implying my PG bleeding was normal and dismissed the pains I described just ligaments stretching.

Turns out after I was referred (after my hand delivered letter), that it was an ectopic pregnancy and I was (fortunately) having a MC. I had to go to hospital every two days for hormones to be checked that it was resolving itself and I had to cancel holiday at the time too. I was told that if at any time the hormones started climbing, I was facing surgery.

Meanwhile I was suddenly getting regular calls from the practice to see how I was fairing.

Oh no. Just seen the update and comparing it to an post of an identical problem I saw in a Facebook group post the weekend, the child is being operated on to clear them out. Your doctor sound hideous, complain complain complain!

My ds spent 6 months of his life being fobbed off.

From the day he was born he had non stop screaming. The doctor kept telling us it was colic, then reflux, then he was an awkward baby.

We saw 4 different doctors in the same surgery who all said the same thing but the worse one was one particular doctor. He turned round and said we was making it worse by over feeding him and that every baby was different. He refused to prescribe gaviscon for his reflux because he hadn't been weighed recently. He didn't even offer to weigh him. Just told me to go and visit the health visitor and come back.

He suddenly stopped eating one day. Refused to take a bottle and screamed everytime he saw it. We took him back in and saw the dreaded doctor. He actually turned round and said a baby can go without food for up to 3 days and that he wasn't worried.

We got home, rang the health visitor who went ballistic. She told us to go back and that we had spoken to her and make him listen.

We did and he still sat there with one eyebrow raised and a "your being ridiculous" look on his face. Finally my dh said do you have children? When the doctor said yes he does, my dh said would you leave your child like this? With a big sigh he said fine I will refer you to the pediatric ward for your peace of mind.

We raced to the hospital where it turned out he had severe silent reflux, lactose intolerance and cows milk protein allergy. Change of milk, some medication and some rest he was a changed baby.

We now refuse to see that doctor if an appoitment is needed

Time for A&E now I reckon.
You can use the wait to write your complaint about the imbecilic GP.

Why not go to A&E now? The private consultation will take a while to arrange. She needs help now. Your instincts were right last time. Trust them now.

I learnt a long time ago that people will fob you off if they can, in all walks of life. You have to have a thick skin. It's those people who make the biggest fuss who get what they want. Who cares what people think of you. Make the fuss you need to.
My mantra is err on the side of caution in all things medical.

isn't lactulose unsuitable for those on reduced lactose diets?

allergies and intolerences haven't been ruled out yet and lactose is a contender isn't it?

it's just going to make her worse if he's wrong and he's definately wrong here

This thread is really upsetting...your poor little girl, and poor you Littlemaemae.

The gp sounds like a complete arse. I really hope you get some answers soon, and that your girly is able to get some kind of treatment that works, and is more comfortable very soon.

Whilst I really hope it is nothing serious, I'm sure WHATEVER it is will be much easier to handle than this constant worry for you and pain for your dd.

Sending you a big hug. X

Either get her to a&e or try and get an emergency appointment with another doctor for a second opinion. I believe this can be done.

Did the gp even check her abdomen?

I can't go to a+e now as I have both kids with me and I am alone with no one I can call to help. I need my dp with me to support me because I know I will be fobbed off again because I'm not strong enough to fight at the moment.
Dr said the hospital is choc a block at the moment.

I will suggest dp takes her this evening?

We have family in South Yorkshire I am considering having her seen there as she has 'fallen in on a visit'
They may take a different approach.
Does anyone have any experience of hospitals in that area?
I am happy to travel there if needs be. Is about 3 hours away

Qmc in Nottingham has always been great with us and has a specific children's a&e.

I'd try your local big hospital though, ring them n ask to speak to a paedetrician on the assessment ward

I'm so so sorry and angry on your behalf after your GP visit. You might well have PND but that has no bearing on your dd's stomach/bowel issues. Your practice sounds like they have form for dismissive crap after the pneumonia mishandling.

DD took tiny gdg time and time again to her GP to be told the screaming at every bottle and total refusal to drink was just colic and that she would eat when she was hungry. They were kind but useless. in the end they paid for a referral and the guy they saw was wonderful and immediately diagnosed bad reflux, put her on meds and high calorie milk as she wasn't drinking enough milk and involved a dietician. While she is still not a fab feeder, they know they have sympathetic people to contact if they need to who will take their concerns seriously and try their best to improve things. dd was also wondering about allergies but the consultant didn't think so because no other signs such as eczema but said if there was no improvement on meds, he would test.

I hope you can change surgeries and get a quick consultation with specialist. You should not have to pay to get good care though :( You can still take her to A&E though and shouldn't hesitate if you want immediate action. And your GP is so wrong that an x ray wouldn't change anything! How the heck does he know that. what is he - psychic!

Aw no
LittleMaeMae,your GP is wrong,he needs complaining about as he seems more concerned about his reputation & the fact he may be wrong in his diagnosis. Complain !!!

My Dd was misdiagnosed for 13 years until we changed practices,original GP made me out to be a neurotic worry wort who had no idea.
I wasn't wrong he was !
My Dd suffered because I didn't trust my judgment & let myself be bullied & pushed down by someone who was supposed to help us.
It does happen.

Go to A&E ,if the OOD told you you need treatment ,they will listen.

Good luck

Is she currently in pain?
I have done A&E on numerous occasions alone with two children. It is no fun but you will survive.
I had a far less serious but similar issue with one if mine when they were younger. Ended up in A&E albeit as was unsure if the cause of her pain, x rays were done and it was all taken seriously.
I really think this just cant go on and you need to get her seen now.