Lazy day

[Fluffyduck1]

Aibu ? Will try to keep this short ! It's a lovely sunny day and our garden is like a patch of waste ground, unusable, neglected and frankly an absolute eyesore ! It's at the back so fortunately no one can see it but me... Every time I look out of the bloody window and it's driving me nuts. Neither my dp or I are gardeners, however we are more than capable of tidying it up and making a start on it looking better, only he can't be bothered. States that it's his bank holiday break too and just wants to do nothing but watch shit TV. I would start on my own but some of the stuff that needs doing is quite heavy digging etc and I'm not able to do that. I just want to make a start to make it look better ready for when we have the budget to really make a difference. He doesn't see the point , says it's a waste of time and to wait till we have the money to do it properly, but I actually can't bear to look out on it anymore. Aibu to think it's a waste of a day and we should really just get on with it.

How would you feel if he told you you had to do something in the house on your holiday?

I do know what you mean, and I think a compromise is fair but I don't think the odd lazy day hurts still in pyjamas

Could you just pick a small area to work on yourself? It might inspire him to want to help, if he sees you've made a bit of progress.

I'm thinking of making a start in my garden today too. Don't expect help from DH. The garden is mine and the kitchen is his! BUT when I start to pretty it up, he will realise that it's time the decking was fixed and he'll do it!

It is a lovely day to waste not doing something outdoors. Potential for rain the rest of the weekend and therefore PJs.

Ahh bank holidays. I should be doing so many things, but I'm just lying in bed on the internet drinking tea.

I think yabu. You can make a start yourself but it is his bank holiday too.

I am with you, his attitude would piss me off!

I'm lying in bed trying to muster the strength to get up and make a simnel cake. It takes between 5 and 10 hours to cook so I need to shift my arse soon.

But I am post op so need my rest.

Have you thought about asking on the gardening thread?

I'm a gardener and I don't dig, can't - back and hips too bad. I still maintain an allotment and a massive garden. Plastic or cardboard for weed suppressant or killing weeds. Lots of mulch, judicious planting. My ground is very uneven and stoney so I use a strimmer rather than a lawn mower.

Yabu, he wants to relax on this long weekend leave him be. I would be so irritated to have to now do work when I just want to laze about. Why didn't you plan for this before? Just because you saw it now doesn't mean it has to be done now.

YABU. If you want to do it, do it, but don't expect him to want to housework on his long weekend just because you've decided it's the right time to do it.

DP is currently doing DIY. I am sitting on the sofa eating hot cross buns. It was his decision to do it, and I would be mightily unimpressed if he decided I had to help him at the last minute.

He sounds a bit useless. I just do not get people who want to lie about doing sod all, especially on such a beautiful day. I have made us all breakfast and DP has cleaned the entire house - why just lie about watching crappy TV!? Such a waste of a day/holiday/life.

It's not a waste if it's what you want to do with your time

I'm with you OP, DH enjoys his downtime (to be fair he works long hours in a tiring job) but when I'm in the mood I just want to get on with it

Best plan is to start small, tidy a small area - little and often will start showing results.

In the mean time why not get yourself a window box and plant with some spring flowers and keep that on your window sill to attract your eye.

My DH management technique is to hand him the baby so I can go and do what I want - or tell him what I am going to do and if he doesn't like that idea he will try and beat me to it as he has learned that I will suit myself (and not necessary him) unless he is actively helping

Am now going to get off mumsnet and go and do the weeding I have been procrastinating about since yesterday :)

Watching tv is not a waste of a life. It's what i plan on doing all day. Under a duvet.
It's sunny outside.

SHOCK HORROR!

I have some sympathy, I got up early cos DH was up early to go out birdwatching all day. I stripped the bed, have 2 loads of washing on the line, hoovered and then cleaned the bathroom. tis a lovely day and I am looking at the patio fence which is in dire need of re staining...can't be arsed, really wanted DH to say 'ah a lovely day...I think I will sort out the fence' but he didn't

Each to their own OP. You want to be outside sorting the garden, he wants to be inside watching tv. Neither of you is wrong. Just get started and do what you can, you can leave heavy digging for another time.

Alternatively pay a 14/15 year old neighbour to dig it for you. Boys that age are very strong and usually on the look out for a way to earn a bit of cash.

Thanks for all the replies. The garden didn't get this way overnight and we have been talking about getting on with it for months now and all the things we plan to do with it but weather/work/ life has always got in the way of any free time we have had. It seems like such a waste of a day when it desperately needs doing and we don't get many weekends together. Obviously I understand that he would like a lazy day / 4 days / life but it needs doing and its forecast rain tomorrow so can laze about then ! Anyway he has huffily joined me without any nagging after all

Some days sunny or not flat out on the sofa is what you need to recover (even if small DC bounce on your head while you do it). I am lucky today and woke up with a bit of energy, so have knocked off two loads of washing, pruned all the roses, weedkiller-ed the drive, scraped off some ivy from the front wall, and given a severe chop to two shrubs that thought I hadn't noticed their plans for world domination. I'm an LP so the garden and DIY have to be squeezed in after everything else, but it can be done!

For the rest of the day, I plan to flop at my mum's and let DC enjoy playing with their grandma! Balance, innit

YANBU OP. But neither is your DH to want a lazy day when he has time off work. Im one of those who doesn't always want to be "doing". But in your shoes I wouldn't be bothered getting wound up about it. Just pay a man to do the job and thats that, no more eyesore. You and DH can sort that out between you, can't you?

I hate people giving me jobs to do. Can't stand feeling bossed about and working to someone else's timeframe. I'd be annoyed too.

Go out there and do an hour. It's what i've just done. (I've mowed half the lawn! )

It's so nice out there the chances are it'll turn into 2 hours and you'll feel really good about it. Leave the bits you can't do. There'll be more weekends for him to get in the spirit of it.

Well I've just taken myself back to bed in tears. Frustrated for similar reasons as you op. Just too exhausted to cope with much else on my own. I just want someone to do something with me.