To pretend to be sick, so I don't have to go to my inlaws Easter do

[LardLizard]

To be honest they are so annoying

Tell you what you should do n think, they are racist and unpleasant

They make us feel stressed dh still want s to go though


I would honestly rather spend the entire day doing chores at home, I'm thinking about pretending I'm sick at the weekend


There do is a lunch and tea at their house so it's a whole day long thing, it's just too long but they won't change it to just say a lunch

Youngest is only two, so can be hard work, eldest is almost nine
So will be a very long time, some kind mumsnet terms have helped to give me idea of how to help the day pass faster like take a ball for the garden n get out for a walk etc
But I'm seriously thinking about pulling a sickie

[ssd]

go for the wine......all those tablets have left you feeling light headed.....

[CrazyMary]

If you go, you could have a long easter egg hunt in the park and time could just slip by, so fast that you miss lunch and are gone for hours. Dc thought one of the 'clues' led to a cosy cafe a local landmark and dc were having such fun it, it seemed a shame to spoil their fun

[LizKeen]

I find it a bit sad that you can't just say to your DH that you don't want to go, so you are staying at home and he can take the kids.

What would he say if you said that?

My DH has a HUGE extended family. I find their get together's really overwhelming and sometimes I don't feel up to it. So he takes the DCs and I stay at home. No lies. No faking illness to my husband. He still sees the family. I go more times than not, but it isn't a big deal if I don't.

[2rebecca]

You should have told them you can ONLY manage lunch and if it's all day or nothing you won't be able to go sorry. They can't make you stay all day

[2rebecca]

I wouldn't be ill. My sisters ex used to do that and it pissed everyone off He should have just said "no I'm not going you go if you want too" which is what you should have said

[lorelei9]

Don't go but tell DH the truth.
Actually I'd tell them the truth, but that's me.

[Andylion]

They can't make you stay all day.

Exactly.

[BarbaraManatee]

One year I got a 24hr bug on Christmas eve so we couldn't travel to PILs that day. We ended up going on Christmas day & I was very concerned about infecting them so insisted on quarantining myself for 48 hours. My PILs are lovely but I'd been given a box set for Christmas & got to spend 2 days in bed with the laptop being waited on by DH & only eating what I fancied. Best Christmas ever!

Last time we saw them I was recovering from a nasty migraine so spent most of the day hiding in the kitchen & didn't go on the family walk. I'm sure they think I'm faking or dislike them... I'm actually just always ill! Currently recovering I hope from my second bout of sinusitis in 2 weeks.

[TwinklyMusic]

Don't go.

It's up to you what way you handle it. Pull a sickie, tell DH straight up you are not going, or tell in laws they can't dictate your whole day.

The main thing is that you don't have to be there! That quiet day with a film and a book (and go for that glass of wine!) sounds fab.

The kids will be fine. One afternoon of a strange comment or two from grandparents is not going to change the values you and your DH teach them over their entire childhoods. Chances are soon enough your dc will tell DGPs what's wrong with their attitudes!!

[yorkshapudding]

I have been ill before quite a few of my PIL/SIL's get togethers. The thing is most of the time I'm not even faking, they make me so stressed and uncomfortable that I genuinely do find myself being sick/feeling sick because I'm anxious about going. I'm sure they have a good old moan about me not coming to things and think I'm faking but then they moan whatever I do so I'm past caring.

SIL is having a do for Easter this weekend and I'm dreading it already as she talks down to me, makes snide comments whenever DH is out of earshot and criticises my parenting or insists on comparing our children even though hers are several years older. I'm so tempted to come down with this flu that's been going around and use the time to catch up on some work.

[Janecc]

Sounds just how I feel when faced with my brother, SIL and mother. So my blood family. Tough one. I do limited contact in small doses. Unfortunately they all live so far away overnight stays are involved. Take your iPad if you have one and do some posting maybe while you are ther to get some support.? My family are so overpowering and overwhelming that I withdraw into myself. I wouldn't let my kids go without me unless you trust dh with them.

[Stanky]

I've been ill for lots of in law's dos. I was genuinely ill, and just not feeling up to it. Dh took the dc's, and I get a rare few hours to myself. Bliss. I don't even feel bad, because I often take the dc to see relatives without dh, so he gets plenty of time to himself too. Let them go, and give yourself a little break.

[TheOddity]

Sickie!
Sickie!
Sickie!

[DoreenLethal]

I would sneeze on you as I am genuinely feeling rough as a badger's arse; however I just think you need to say 'No, DH - I will not be going. You can tell them I am sick if you want but I am not spending one of my Easter days stressed with your family berating me. Next time, I will go but just for lunch or dinner not both'.

[Badders123]

If your dh wants to go he can go
Why wouldn't want to e pose your dc to this?
He sounds like a twat

[SlinkyVagabond]

And don't forget to carry it on for the next day. Extra day in bed, mooching on sofa being brought cups of tea, win win.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

Go.

Unless you're there every other weekend or something.

It's not a lot to ask.

[TheWoodenSpoonOfMischief]

I also think it's sad that you have to pretend to be sick to your dh.

This is your life. Do what you want and stand up for yourself.

[fieldfare]

Absolutely what Doreen said.

If it's going to be absolutely unbearable, and you don't think Dh will support you in only staying for lunch OR dinner then I'd be honest with him. He can tell them what he likes to smooth it over but you don't have to go.

[Letustryagain]

You do know that pizza and easter eggs are a cure for most illnesses don't you?

You could be poorly when your DH leaves and miraculously cured by the time he returns! Films help too...

It's your Easter weekend aswell, stuff 'em and stay at home. HTH!!

[TheOddity]

I think you'd be doing DH a favour by lying. Makes it a lot easier deliver that message to his parents. Life is too short and I can tell by your post that a day doing what you fancied while DH and kids are looked after would be a rare and beautiful thing. and lets face, Dil is rarely missed if there is a DS and DGC present!

[BeefLasagneForMyTea]

Oh definitely pretend to DH as well, he might bring you some flowers as sympathy. If he says he'll stay with you, tell him no he had better go and take the children too in case they all catch what you've got.

[Lighteningirll]

Do it, everyone wins you get a day on your own dh and dc get to see family who get to see them without a dil who dislikes them win win win and I think it can be good to expose dc to short controlled periods of racism sexism etc because it opens up discussions about why we don't do it, they will face it eventually it's their home life that matters.

[Ginslinger]

I would tell DH that it's lunch or tea but not both. It's really hard the first time you do something like this but just tell MIL that you are really looking forward to lunch but you will be leaving at 3.00pm - no explanations needed - it's what you're doing. good luck

[ssd]

its meant to be wet all weekend op, so if you go you'll be stuck indoors with the inlaws, or trailing round some shopping centre/garden centre place

I cant think of anything worse.....