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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents ignoring headteacher

54 replies

DisappointedOne · 23/03/2016 20:43

Concert this morning for youngest children in primary school's Easter bonnet parade. Headteacher stresses at start that parents are free to take photos but that if posting on social media no other child than your own is to be included in photos. He says this very clearly before every school event.

This evening a parent has posted photos and video of her child plus about 6 others on Facebook. She's a TA in another primary school FFS. Headteacher warns that one complaint will see a no photos policy introduced. I know that the parents of one of the children shown don't want photos of him on social media.

WIBU to point this out AGAIN to this person and ask her to edit/remove the pictures? I'm chair of the PTA if that makes a difference.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 23/03/2016 20:46

Headteacher warns that one complaint will see a no photos policy introduced. I know that the parents of one of the children shown don't want photos of him on social media. Tell the Head. I hate my DD on social media and have at least two friends with children who CAN'T be on social media. Photo ban is clearly the only way to stop her. Could the photo ban be instituted just for 'offenders' like her?

Hassled · 23/03/2016 20:47

It makes no difference that you're chair of the PTA - dob the parent in. Some of those kids could have very valid and scary reasons why their school shouldn't be identified on social media. People are idiots.

Floggingmolly · 23/03/2016 20:50

Yes, you have to tell. There's always one gobshite, isn't there? Angry

MadamDeathstare · 23/03/2016 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 23/03/2016 20:51

I know that the head has permission to publish photos of every child (small school) but there are one or two that must not have the school name in the photo. He hasn't publicised this (I needed to check for something I was doing for the PTA and he told me) so other parents probably aren't aware of this and his 'no other child' should suffice. The kids this morning were wearing logo'd jumpers. Hmm

OP posts:
MadSprocker · 23/03/2016 20:53

This happens all the time at our school too. Parents just don't get it.

Just1duck · 23/03/2016 20:54

Please do something.
My adopted daughter has members of her birth family looking for her on behalf of her birth father who is in prison. She is startlingly like her birth father in looks - absolutely no mistaking her. Although we don't live too close to where she came from, if one of them saw and recognised her on a friend's fb feed and identified what school she is at it would cause all kinds of problems for us, and her.

TeenAndTween · 23/03/2016 20:58

I would definitely tell the head.

I am one of those annoying parents who won't let my DC on social media or local papers (for a sound safeguarding reason).

If open for all it is disgraceful she has done this. Similarly if 'friends of friends'.
But even if 'friends only' it is not on.
As she is a TA elsewhere I am amazed she has done this.

maydancer · 23/03/2016 21:02

How are they 'being identified' when they are not being named,if there are six children in, too small to be identified and probably faces obscured by their Easter bonnets

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/03/2016 21:05

may the fact that you don't understand doesn't mean that you don't have to follow the rules. I understand, OP understands, the Head understands. The photo taker knew there was a rule and chose to flout it. And, as a TA, she also understands why there is a rule.

MadamDeathstare · 23/03/2016 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeenAndTween · 23/03/2016 21:10

may

Children fleeing DV or in care / adopted due to various reasons can be very much at risk. Some people will happily spend a long time trawling around pictures / videos of schools hoping to spot 'their' child. Identifying the school means someone can turn up at break-time and abscond with child, or going home-time and follow them home to see where they live.

I personally know an adoptive family who had to relocate due to birth family member learning general location and then ringing round all schools to try to find child.

maydancer · 23/03/2016 21:10

If there are 6 bodies in a FB photo they must be small!

TeenAndTween · 23/03/2016 21:13

Parents who say no photos don't generally say it lightly.

It is a pain for the parents and the child. the child feels different and left out. The parent (and the child) never get to enjoy their child being on website / local paper. People generally only say no photos if they feel they need to. Other parents really need to respect this.

QueenArseClangers · 23/03/2016 21:13

And maydancer shows us a startlingly accurate example of the TA's attitude Hmm

Please read about cases where police have had to be present at the school gates cos an obsessed, dangerous dad has trawled Facebook to identify his 'escaped' family.

MadamDeathstare · 23/03/2016 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Just1duck · 23/03/2016 21:16

Really May, if a friend put a photo on fb of you and 5 friends, you don't think you'd be able to make out your faces?? Hmm

SoupDragon · 23/03/2016 21:19

if there are six children in, too small to be identified

What sort of shitty camera do you have? Any cAmera can easily take a phot with 6 children in and have them identifiable.

Besides, surely anyone can see that having 5 other children in a photo violates the "only your child" rule. Unless they are unbelievable shit at maths and remembering how many children they have.

samsonthecat · 23/03/2016 21:24

My DCs school used to say no photos on social media. Someone disobeyed this rule about 4/5 years ago. Now the rule is no photos taken at all. There's always one who spoils it for everyone else.

shazzarooney99 · 23/03/2016 21:33

What a selfish cow, one that will ruin it for everyone x

pudcat · 23/03/2016 21:35

You must report it as it could involve a child at risk. It could involve a family on the witness protection scheme. So some selfish person has spoilt it for everyone else.And if I were the Head I would tell everyone why they can no longer take photos

StrictlyMumDancing · 23/03/2016 21:39

I took some photos of DD in her school assembly. I used my phone's zoom so not the greatest photo. Even on just the phone screen you can clearly make out the other 5 kids near her and the two parents who's heads got in the way.

We got the warning not to put on social media. I hadn't been planning on it but after I got told I was sorely tempted. I didn't though Halo

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 23/03/2016 21:45

For a start not only is she setting a bad example to her child, ignoring rules. It is also a very serious safe guarding issue.
Complain.
Tough shit if people can no longer take pictures of their little Poppets and soldiers. She should have thought about that.
And she's a TA. ShockShockShock.I think I'd also consider calling the school that she works in as she obviously needs safeguarding training.
So she is a bad example as a mum and as a TA. I'm sorry but she is. Rules are there for a reason

Verbena37 · 23/03/2016 21:46

You should certainly tell the head teacher about it and tell the TA to remove the pictures.
We had a similar issue but it was the HT who didn't really understand why we were insisting that the school play DVD didn't have DDs character next to her real name. We also insisted they write on it that parents don't post copies of it onto social media. We had a very valid reason (security) due to DHs job at the time.

.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 23/03/2016 21:50

How are they 'being identified' when they are not being named,if there are six children in, too small to be identified and probably faces obscured by their Easter bonnets

Have you heard of facial recognition software??

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