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AIBU?

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Original poster

To still be really weirded out by this?

112 replies

Abbbinob · 23/03/2016 10:35

Came accross porn dp had been watching, was all teen porn which whilst creepy usually does just mean women in their 20s dressed a bit younger.but the one he had watched the most is this shy Angela girl and it's disgusting she looks very young and her adverts have like her lying in little bed with Winnie the pooh teddies,lollypops etc and dressed like an 8 year old. Apparently this isn't fucking gross because she apparently is 18and I'm overreacting Hmm I'm actually shocked this kind of stuff is allowed on mainstream sites how the fuck is this normal

OP posts:
VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon · 23/03/2016 11:17

Fucking hell
She looks like an actual child. This is foul. I couldn't stay with him if that were me

Original poster
Abbbinob · 23/03/2016 11:19

Honestly I don't for a second think he'd hurt DS but then no one ever does do they

OP posts:
DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings · 23/03/2016 11:20

Exactly, I wouldn't take the chance.

Buzzardbird · 23/03/2016 11:24

He shouldn't be around any children. He uses porn as a way of punishing you also?

WeeHelena · 23/03/2016 11:26

I have issue with people even role playing as teens or god forbid younger, creeps me out majorly and I'd go off anyone who even showed an interest in it and have done, never mind watching porn like it.

It's vile.

Haudyerwheesht · 23/03/2016 11:27

I would be disgusted and would leave

Justaboy · 23/03/2016 11:30

If you think its child porn etc then report it here.

www.iwf.org.uk/

BirthdayBetty · 23/03/2016 11:33

Very disturbing.

SolidGoldBrass · 23/03/2016 11:37

There is a clear difference between roleplay which some people like (where quite often the whole point is that the person pretending to be young is a fullgrown adult playing a game. TBH it'snot a million miles away from the current obsession with adult colouring books...) and stuff where the model is over 18 but looks a lot younger. The second is creepy and could very well indicate paedophile inclinations.

So no, I wouldn't want a man who was into that to be in a house with any child of mine.

WellErrr · 23/03/2016 11:40

Think of it this way.

He doesn't watch women in grey wigs with walking sticks pretending to be OAPs, because presumably that wouldn't turn him on.

He watches women pretending to be children because presumably......?

You fill in the rest.

I couldn't be anywhere near him.

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 23/03/2016 11:42

I don't dare find any pics as I'm on a work computer, but is the consensus this girl looks around 14?

It's worth remembering porn is fundamentally escapist and fantasy; does your dp explain what he finds arousing about this particular character? It could be that his fantasy is actually reminiscing back to being a teenager, and getting with all the teenaged girls he ever fancied, but of course with much more explicit adult moves! Even if that's not the case this is, at it's very core, a fantasy enacted by consenting adults.

As much as I understand the concept I'm actually totally weirded out by porn in general. However I know a lot of people for whom it's completely the norm and the fantasy element is completely not dangerous in real life. Of course there is a small minority who cannot/do not distinguish between the porn fantasy and reality, but for the majority it is harmless - except perhaps to your relationship.

If you're not cool with it you're not, and that's fine. Is it a small thing comparative to the rest of your relationship or is a big thing to you?

Superwitchy · 23/03/2016 11:42

No, YANBU. That's vile.

Alexa444 · 23/03/2016 11:46

I'm going to go against the grain here and say I wouldn't be bothered personally. She really doesn't look that young to me, I don't even think she is a teen, she looks early 20s. Certainly she doesn't look like a child though she is clearly going for that look. I would talk to him honestly before freaking out. For a lot of people its the forbidden aspect, rather than actually being attracted to kids. A lot of people watch supposed "teen" porn and yet if you showed them video of an actual child, say mid teens, having sex they would be horrified and disgusted. She does to me look like a fully developed adult, acting the part of a shy girl and while it doesn't do anything for me, I can see how he might like the faux innocence. But in his mind he is fully aware that this is a woman playing a part. I highly doubt he would be able to get aroused if he thought it really was a child. He would be sickened.

I had a bf a few years ago who said something like that about teen porn. I asked him why he watched it and he said " yeah but it isn't really a kid. Look she's got boobs and hips, she doesn't even really look like a kid." So I said well what's the point then? And he said " if she really looked that young it would put me well off. It'd be sick."

I still can't say I get it as such. I get the logic there. But I can't really understand it, you know? I've just chalked it up to weird but harmless. Some like sexy nurses, some like pigtails. Unless he really does like kids and was looking at actual child porn, then I'd call the police. Though they would probably end up arresting me in that case as there would be violence.

sadie9 · 23/03/2016 11:52

Aside from watching it in the first place, what I also object strongly to is him using it directly in relation to you or he is relating to something about you. This is emotional abuse. It's nothing to do with you whatsoever. He is sort of saying I have to look at this stuff because of you. Any man who does that is an abuser. Any man who relates his porn watching or addiction to porn to his wife or partner is using that as an excuse. What he is saying in other words, is that his wife or partner is 'responsible' for his sexual needs and if she does not provide it than he is 'entitled' to seek stimulation or get his needs fulfilled elsewhere. That is wrong, wrong, wrong.

herecomethepotatoes · 23/03/2016 11:56

""What he is saying in other words, is that his wife or partner is 'responsible' for his sexual needs and if she does not provide it than he is 'entitled' to seek stimulation or get his needs fulfilled elsewhere. That is wrong, wrong, wrong."

Isn't he kind of saying the opposite? He doesn't think his partner is responsible and instead looks at porn.

TBH, I'm a little on the fence. He hasn't done anything wrong. Morally dubious. I don't want to watch videos but I assume she looks as though she's enjoying it as opposed to being abused.

It's so far removed from anything I've experienced, I'm not sure what to think.

As someone up there said, sexual fantasies are fine, as long as they're just that.

angielou123 · 23/03/2016 11:57

His laptop would be going out the window.

sadie9 · 23/03/2016 11:58

Please be aware it is not a great idea to go Google this stuff as it will appear in your history on the computer, or generate emails and pop-ups on your computer that you won't want anyone seeing. If your computer was seized it (or you took it to a repair shop say) it would show up that such websites were accessed and if it did turn out to be underage and illegal stuff it can be traced back to your house.
It might also generate ads for other websites that may appear in the sidebar of your computer.

Original poster
Abbbinob · 23/03/2016 11:59

He has a 9 year old daughter, (he doesn't see her on stry but he was 15 when she was born and she was removed from her mother and he was awarded custodybut agreed to adoption to keep her away from her mother on advice of ss,this is true I've spoken to SS about it) he shouldn't be turned on by the "innocence" of young girls, it weird

OP posts:
molyholy · 23/03/2016 12:03

TBH it'snot a million miles away from the current obsession with adult colouring books.

Erm, excuse me. What the fuck???? How is looking at pornography of girls who are fake underage, the same as colouring in? Confused

He sounds gross OP. and a twat. Looking a porn to punish you! Kick him out.

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 23/03/2016 12:04

Abbbinob did you read my message upthread? Are you quite sure his fantasy isn't about being a teenager again with teenaged girls? I only ask because I have more than one male friend who have professed to finding the idea of reliving their lust-filled teenaged days surrounding by blossoming teenaged girls, but instead of being awkward and incompetent (as most teenaged boys are) they have the new confidence and experience of their adult selves?

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 23/03/2016 12:06

So many errors in my last post, even an incomplete sentence in there - hit ctrl+enter by mistake - but you get the gist.

Original poster
Abbbinob · 23/03/2016 12:09

Eatsleep-it could be that actually, most f his teens were spent as a carer for his disabled dm and then he had a kid at 15 so didn't really ever be a normal teenager

OP posts:
SirVixofVixHall · 23/03/2016 12:12

I stupidly googled and up came a list of really grim sounding porn sites rather than a pic or the person. I really didn't want to click any further. But anyway, I couldn't continue a relationship after this, and I would want to know what else he'd been looking at in case it was a police matter.

Pufflehuff · 23/03/2016 12:17

He had a child at 15 who was removed from her mother, whom he then had adopted away to 'keep her away' from her mother, and he watches porn when you 'annoy' him? Honestly, where do people FIND these excuses for human beings?

Get rid, honestly. None of this is normal or OK or happening to others. You, and every other woman, deserve better than this.

0phelia · 23/03/2016 12:21

I can't get my head around your update up thread where you said he looked at the vid because he was angry with you about something

WTAF.

So... If you ever piss him off, be warned he is going to wank over some young teen porn. WTAF.

I just wouldn't get past that emotional fuck up of underlying blackmail.

The porn itself, verges on horrible. I only think "at least she's not a real child". (😔).

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