To be frightened of my life being like this and afraid I'm just not strong enough for it

[gardenswithchickensinthem]

Pity party. But also advice if you have any.

I've never had a bad back before apart from a brief bit of sciatica once which caused a fair few muffled expletives but otherwise not too bad. It also cleared up in a week.

Six weeks ago my back suddenly 'went'. The pain was in all honesty and not wanting to sound like a wimp nothing like I've ever experienced before. I couldn't drive, sit, move, bend, do anything.

I was prescribed some pain relief which helped stop the 'spasms' but didn't really address the root cause.

Have now been referred for an MRI scan.

But after six weeks of constant and at times pretty excruciating pain, I'm so weary. I am managing to go to work, mostly, and it drains me completely. I just come home and sleep as I find it so tiring. Children laugh at my walking (teacher) and I worry colleagues think I'm putting it on. People keep asking how did you do it or what have you done and I just don't know! Driving is horribly sore and I'm actually scared to cough or sneeze. I never thought the day would come when I was scared to sneeze!

If I wake in the night needing a wee it's like an epic movement. I hate mornings so much as it takes me ages to move from lying to standing. I hate feeding the cats as I have to bend over. I hate feeling woozy and tired all the time due to heavy pain relief (before this happened the last time I took a paracetamol was probably 2013 sometime. I just don't get ill much.)

I am SO miserable.

Sorry - but God it felt good to let that out!

Gosh swit, I don't know how you're managing teaching 5 year olds and having a toddler - I think I'd have gone insane!

I'm hoping I get some news in when the MRI is likely. It's so frustrating.

I have just re-read your OP (still have not read the full thread soz) and want to re-iterate from my earlier post. With my sacroiliac I put it out by trying to lift something heavy away from my body. When it is 'out' I cannot stand upright and have to walk like Max Wall (if you do not know who Max Wall is I am oldish it may be worth a Google to see his walk - he was a comedian in the 50s/60's) Once it goes back in (either with the help of a Chiropractor or as I said, I can do it myself now) it is instantly relieved and I can get back to normal in a few days. I am re-iterating this as my orthopaedic consultant blatantly doesn't believe me but the surgeon prepared to internally fixate it absolutley does. There is little or no joined up thinking in the NHS I feel. I am putting this as I would hate for you to have a displaced SI and not be aware of it when it is fairly simply remedied and I recognise that desperation feel you have!
A good Chiro would instantly recognise a displaced SI joint OP. When I rang him the first time telling him that is what I thought I had done (I Googled) he said he doubted it because I would have had to have been in a car accident or somesuch for it to displace. When he saw it he laughed because I was right. It is breathtakingly painful when it displaces. I passed out the first time I did it. It flops in and out at the drop of a hat now which is why I need fixation. Good luck

I was about to start a thread like this. I inflamed my sciatic nerve in the middle of January, I am in so much pain. I can't sit, lie, stand or walk for more than 10-15 minutes. I have strong painkillers from my GP but they make me feel woozy and sick. I have the most sympathetic boss who is allowing me to work from home but I can't even do that this week. I woke up this morning and cried due to the pain, I am fed up of feeling pathetic. I just want to feel 'normal' again.

I'm laughing at steroid objections and imagining a seriously muscley guy objecting strongly.

I have the trapped nerve shoulder issue mentioned previously. It's very wearing and really affects my mood. But with a chiropractor, new meds (lyrica) and an upcoming physio appointment, i'm starting to think there might be light at the end of the tunnel.

You have my sympathy.

Osteopath every time as PP's have said it might feel worse initially but with manipulation they will sort it out. I have suffered back pain on an off for years (bad backs seem to run in my family) My Mother used to swear by the one she saw she had terrible disc problems and used to be rendered imobile but the GP just used to give her painkillers. I remember seeing my dad carry her to the car to go to the Osteopath and her being able to walk up the path (albeit slowly and gingerly) after her visit.
Be cautious about any mention of surgery as well. My Aunt and cousin had very successful surgery on the spine but my Dsis is now in a wheelchair.

I wish you luck but you should if possible be at home resting carrying on whilst taking pain killers is not the way to go you are being a martyr only to yourself and you could make matters worse.

I really hate that word and I'm not going to bother with this thread sorry. Thanks for advice.

And I doubt you'd be calling martyr if it was your sixteen year old.

Hi op. I wanted to share my story - 1 year off work, couldn't sit down, scared I would be like this forever and very very frightened. It's a few years alter now but I am back in work and managing a sedentary job and ongoing back issues, but absolutely nothing compared to the first eat. It is possible to come out the other side. What worked for me was definitely taking time off work, despite the difficulties of doing so, and a great gp. We did an Mri, but to be honest this was just to confirm what was already known. As gp said, it makes absolutely no difference to the management plan, which I think is always advised to be conservative- I didn't do Pilates for ages as it was too acute for a few months, but physio, Pilates and patience helped ... It's really really hard and scary, but you can cope out the other side. I think it's important to get physio advice- I did weeks of physio before joining Pilates classes - it really helps to work out the good teachers from the bad, and to ensure that you know what each exercise really is about. I'd join private Pilates classes run by a physiotherapist maybe , if you are still waiting for physio. I n my case, it was the near 1-1 attention for each exercise and the advice to NOT JOIN a regular Pilates class that helped ... Eventually I did join local gym but only when I knew what I was doing. The first class I cried because I could not bend I was in so much pain. But now... I really am so much. Improved its hard to remember how excruciating and frightening that time was, until I see a post like yours. I really hope you can take time you need to recover... Bw.
Ps. Don't take yourself away from important help on the basis Of one or two posts .. But look up the health threads as there may be a specific back pain related thread. It DOES get easier, as hard as it is to imagine it probably right now.

Sorry for typos

If you can pay for a private scan, I would recommend doing that asap, as it sounds like it could be disc related.

DH prolapsed two discs some years ago and he was utterly immobilised, and in debikitating pain. The NHS didn't prioritise it, so we booked a private scan, took results to the hospital, and basically said we wouldn't leave until he was seen...he at this point was lying on the hospital floor in excruciating pain, couldn't sit, walk, or stand.

He was eventually seen and the doctor said he'd never seen a more pronounced double prolapse and treatment plan was agreed immediately. He didn't opt for surgery due to the potential risks, but recovered over time with physio, regular exercise and seeing a sports massage therapist, who he still sees nearly a decade later.

I hope you get relief and some help soon.

Noooo don't go! Back pain is bloody awful. My sister has sciatica and a chiropractor really helps, whilst I pop/tear/slip discs on a fairly regular basis and I swear by osteopathy. Pain killers do nothing for me. Physio didn't help either.

What does the doctor think it us? Have they taken blood samples? My sister was suffering a particularly horrible bout of pain which swept through her body and it was eventually found to be due to a vitamin defficiency, do she is not on injections and supplements.

Stress is very bad to give you back aches too. I've slipped a disisc due to stress!

You do a job where you need to be active. Get signed off - I've worked with people who have done this - and get the mri done and ask if you'd doctor will send you to an osteopath. It takes while for it to 'fix' completely but it won't get better by itself.

I use a walking stuck sometimes too - its not pretty but effective (and I can poke annoying people with it too).

There is a long running thread for back pain support on the general health board. Please feel free to join us, anyone who is suffering.

sorry, my fat fingers can't seem to manage a link but it's near the top.

OP I've not read the full thread so may be repeating what others have said, but have you tried a sports physio? I put my back out in my twenties and was in agony for months. Eventually went to a sports physio. On my way to the appointment I was overtaking walking down the street by a woman with a zimmer frame. I remember that being a low point. After just one session I was upright again and my back just felt tender, no longer in pain. I did the exercises every day (and still do, twenty years later, if I feel that weak spot twingeing again/ From then on I was pain free. It's not on NHS but it's definitely worth a shot.

At very least insist the GP refers you to NHS physio.

OP I've not read the full thread so may be repeating what others have said, but have you tried a sports physio? I put my back out in my twenties and was in agony for months. Eventually went to a sports physio. On my way to the appointment I was overtaking walking down the street by a woman with a zimmer frame. I remember that being a low point. After just one session I was upright again and my back just felt tender, no longer in pain. I did the exercises every day (and still do, twenty years later, if I feel that weak spot twingeing again/ From then on I was pain free. It's not on NHS but it's definitely worth a shot.

At very least insist the GP refers you to NHS physio.

Ditto what Matilda said ... its on general health and we are all in the same boat on that thread with varying degrees (but its not a competition!). I don't know how I'd manage without the support I get on it. Please join us OP and fellow sufferers as there is a wealth of experience on meds, physio, ops, etc there.

OP - are you poor? Because really and truthfully, unless your MRI will be in the next week or two you should pay the £500 or so for a private MRI. In Britain a lot of back pain is treated very 'conservatively' for want of a better word. There's a wait and see approach. Whereas internationally there seems to be more of a push for surgery quickly for better outcomes. Cynics might argue this is because the NHS doesn't want to 'waste' money on surgery when they can 'waste' less money in the short term on drugs. Some back surgeries are really very simple and routine for an experienced surgeon, even if they sound scary.

My aunt took a wait and see approach, then finally had surgery. Unfortunately she has been left with permanent numbness because her ruptured disc damaged a nerve in the months she was kept waiting. Her consultant was cross because her surgery was very straightforward and would have resolved the issue quickly. Please, if you can afford it, consider a private MRI money well spent.

I know how you feel, back pain is awful

I was in an accident and broke my back. I didn't find out until months afterwards; I was 4 weeks pregnant at the time (found out I was expecting while waiting in A&E for an xray, which of course I couldn't have). Childbirth was not as painful as my back.

With the benefit of hindsight, the day I found out was quite funny. It was towards the end of my MRI when I was told through the headphones to keep very, very, very still. When it was finished, nurses came in and strapped me to the bed while telling me not to worry

A doctor arrived who confirmed what the operator had seen on the scan - I had broken multiple vertebrae, plus there was a prolapse which was compressing my spinal cord. I had to get home to DS, so I discharged myself after I'd been squeezed into a type of corset reinforced with steel.

I was put through as an urgent case for surgery and my spine was fused. I knew he'd done an excellent job the second I came round. It was just 'uncomfortable' pain rather than my back pain. They took my morphine pump away because I wasn't using it enough

I shall gloss-over the part where I was in an accident on the way home from hospital and ended up back in A&E (we were following a transporter and a car fell off the top right in front of us!)

Having walked around for so long with a broken back, I've been left with some damage to my sciatic nerve and I have a scoliosis at the top of my spine. My legs don't always work properly (my feet drag or spontaneously 'kick') and I am medically excluded from driving. Even with that, I'm so thankful for getting such a good result from the operation. I was able to go back to work within 6 months. My employer has been very good - I needed desk modifications, a room to do physio and to be able to work from home when my legs don't work well enough for me to commute.

One note of caution - my surgeon was furious that I'd been sent for physio and given exercises to do without the initial problem (the fractures/cord compression) being diagnosed. He said I was very lucky not to have been permanently paralysed.

When I was in hospital I got chatting to some of the other patients. Before surgery, I found heat packs worked best to ease the pain for me. Others found cold things worked better (freezer packs wrapped in a towel). Sitting down was by far the worst thing I could do....slow gentle walks or lying flat on a firm surface worked best.

I'd definitely suggest getting an MRI as soon as possible....best of luck

Read this book. Seriously saved my life after months of excruciating pain;

www.amazon.co.uk/Healing-Back-Pain-Mind--Connection/dp/0446557684/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1458751460&sr=1-1