To be frightened of my life being like this and afraid I'm just not strong enough for it

[gardenswithchickensinthem]

Pity party. But also advice if you have any.

I've never had a bad back before apart from a brief bit of sciatica once which caused a fair few muffled expletives but otherwise not too bad. It also cleared up in a week.

Six weeks ago my back suddenly 'went'. The pain was in all honesty and not wanting to sound like a wimp nothing like I've ever experienced before. I couldn't drive, sit, move, bend, do anything.

I was prescribed some pain relief which helped stop the 'spasms' but didn't really address the root cause.

Have now been referred for an MRI scan.

But after six weeks of constant and at times pretty excruciating pain, I'm so weary. I am managing to go to work, mostly, and it drains me completely. I just come home and sleep as I find it so tiring. Children laugh at my walking (teacher) and I worry colleagues think I'm putting it on. People keep asking how did you do it or what have you done and I just don't know! Driving is horribly sore and I'm actually scared to cough or sneeze. I never thought the day would come when I was scared to sneeze!

If I wake in the night needing a wee it's like an epic movement. I hate mornings so much as it takes me ages to move from lying to standing. I hate feeding the cats as I have to bend over. I hate feeling woozy and tired all the time due to heavy pain relief (before this happened the last time I took a paracetamol was probably 2013 sometime. I just don't get ill much.)

I am SO miserable.

Sorry - but God it felt good to let that out!

Oh gosh I really feel for you. This is a massive fear of mine having had my first ever painful injury last year-it only lasted a few weeks but truly terrified me of living in pain.
Do get signed off and throw as much money as you can at private physio. Mine was fantastic.

Another vote for private physio, DH was in a similar situation and after approx. 4 sessions he is currently pain free.

I've been there and I really sympathise! And yes, also given the brush off by many a doctor. One doctor told me to take up Pilates, and I felt like screaming at her. Pilates?? I feel completely crippled and you think Pilates is going to cure this??

I tried physio and osteopathy. I thought the physio was a waste of time, but the osteopathy helped (couldn't afford to pay full whack so went to a training college). Thing is, although the osteopathy helped, it would only be a matter of time before I would do my back in again. Then it was back to the osteopath. I didn't think I'd ever see the end of it. I would just bend down to tie my shoelace or something, and then my back would go again. As a lone parent, it was awful. I wasn't able to clean or cook properly. I needed a walking stick to take my son to school.

Then I took up Pilates. Pilates has cured my back.

First of all I found that I'd do my back in less often, and when I did, the recovery was much quicker. Before long, I'd stopped doing my back in altogether. I've been doing Pilates for about 4 years now, and have not done my back in for the last three years. It feels like a miracle!

You have my sympathies, I've been suffering lower back pain on and off (mainly on) since having my daughter with various degrees of severity, the worst being when my partner had to call an ambulance as I could not get off the floor and my baby was just a few weeks old. at its worst I feel quite crippled by it. I've had a lot of physio which I didn't find really helped (though I wasn't being too disciplined with the exercise and I noticed the exercises did help stave it off a bit). one thing that helped tremendously was an osteopath (though I'm terrified of the cracking) - it rid me of my symptoms for a good few weeks however I have to really avoid any triggers to avoid them creeping back - for me bad posture, carrying heavy bags with laptops, and not sitting with correct support (I have a desk job), also hauling a toddler around on my hip! I do recommend a visit to a recommended osteopath and appropriate exercise (i.e. prescribed by someone expert) once you're feeling up to it and assuming the MRI shows nothing out of the ordinary. but i feel with back pain it's important to treat the causes as well as the symptoms, and that may mean identifying triggers and making appropriate lifestyle changes. i'm planning to start pilates as i think strengthening my core will really help - this was recommended by physio too.

just read the last post before mine, and i will definitely be taking up pilates!!

It is horrible, I had a few bouts of really bad back pain in my 30s and 40s, if I could get my knickers and tights on it was a good day! I was eventually referred to a sports physio, who started me on really small movements, and gradually corrected my posture and gave me strategies to prevent recurrence, and I haven't had back problems for the last 20 years. When you are in such pain, you can't imagine ever being normal again, at the moment I am awaiting knee replacements, and feeling ridiculous, hobbling about with a stick. These things make life so difficult, however the thing is to keep moving, rest when you need to, and try to remain optimistic as stress makes pain, and inflamation so much worse.

TENS machine can be bought at most chemists. Lloyds do a disposable one at a fiver, so you could try that to see if it helps before spending the thirty-forty quid for a 'proper' one. They are very easy to use and can't do any harm (unless you overdo things because the pain lessens iyswim). Worth a try to help your current severe discomfort, but TENS is not a treatment or a cure, so treatment then back muscle exercise/Pilates/posture etc as previous posters have described is the way to go.

www.lloydspharmacy.com/SearchDisplay?categoryId=&storeId=10151&catalogId=10152&langId=44&sType=SimpleSearch&resultCatEntryType=2&showResultsPage=true&searchSource=Q&pageView=&beginIndex=0&pageSize=12&searchTerm=tens+machine%2C#first

I gave up on the NHS for my back pain. I was 16 weeks pregnant when suddenly I could not move. To even lift my arms was agony, I couldn't bend to go to the loo or undo my trouser button. DH came home to find me hanging over the kitchen counter crying in agony. GP suggested paracetamol
I have had regular appointments with a private Physio who kept me on track whilst pregnant and since DS was born has worked to get my back healthy again. I now see her every 8 weeks. And I do Pilates.

Get a private MRI if you can - the waiting times can be ridiculous.

The MRI will show what the problem is. If it's slipped discs you will probably have to choose between heavy medication or surgery.

If it's not, you'll be able to go to the physio / osteopath with images to show them and get structured treatment.

Once you're back moving, I totally recommend pilates.

Total sympathy - I had a prolapsed disc in my 20's- pre-kids - (with a relapse once they came along) and it coincided with the worst, most unpleasant, unsympathetic GP. I wanted to end it all, it was so painful. But it did pass, and touch wood for you, you can do exercises and make changes that will hopefully ensure it doesn't impact too much on you going forward. It is awful and I hope you feel better soon!

Private physio if you can, mine got me back on my feet and mainlky pain free till I could have my op (slipped disc) she was also able to refer me for a private MRI scan. Had it done on as weekend and cost about £150. I then sent the images on to the NHS to try and speed things up.

Please book a physio appointment asap. Go private as it's worth it, it's your health and mobility. Get on an NHS wait list too but private is faster and they will see you longer and be more hands on. Very gentle stretching as feels right with heat - baths, showers, heat packs, electric blanket - before to relax the muscles.

Osteopaths etc are too variable whereas physios are more medically trained and will tell you what they think has happened. Pain is horrible, I'm four years into chronic lower back pain, had surgery after my MRI but that was after a two yr wait, often backs get better with more time and the right treatment to help speed it up.

I had a prolapsed disc also...like I said the physio sorted it out, lower back is a bit iffy but I am able to exercise and it's not generally a problem

Chronic pain is just horrid. Heat helps, acupuncture helps and drugs help keep using all three get a prescription for the strongest from your GP. Get signed off you really can't work like this and no one will be thinking how great you are working through the pain. Make work and GP realise exactly how bad you are and keep on until you are bumped up the waiting list. You sound like you're being too lovely to complain and everyone is minimising your pain.

I can also recommend Pilates, and swimming for disc problems, Even if it's agony, it's important to keep moving as best as possible. After an op and a couple of years of agony , Pilates was a miracle, but only after months of going regularly.

I have a horrible saga with my back, which no-one really needs to hear about now, but if I had my time over, I wish I'd have paid for a private MRI about a year before I actually got one. I had no idea my issue was so bad, and my damage would have been much lesser if it had been dealt with more quickly.

Seriously. If you've got the £500, I'd seriously recommend considering it.

I completely sympathise with you OP. I don't have sciatica, but I do have a pinched nerve near my shoulder blade, which caused me excruciating pain for over a year until I sought help for it - since November I have been taking amitriptyline and almost overnight my pain went from a 9/10 to a 4/10. Prior to this I was desperately unhappy as I simply couldn't envisage how I would be able to go on and find any joy in life when it constantly felt as if I was being stabbed in the shoulder with a sharp burning knife. I don't want to be on meds forever and I'm currently undergoing a NHS course of acupuncture - this has also helped enormously to alleviate the tension in the muscles surrounding the pinched nerve and has worked far more effectively than I expected it to. I also have monthly therapeutic massages and my practitioner uses a deep oscillation machine on me, which is excellent at reducing inflammation. I'm not out of the woods yet, but my quality of life has vastly since I took these steps.

*vastly improved

Ps. You CAN go on. There isn't really another option. (Well - there is, but we won't go there.)
I am the poster girl with my pain doctor for refusing to accept that life has changed significantly. Whilst it's not great, I refuse to accept it won't get better. Be kind to yourself when it's bad - like now - and do what you have to in order to get through. This means help, adaptations, and lots of lovely drugs. :)

Been there
Mine went in 2013, I got stuck on the floor and had gas and air to get me up. Drugs, lots of them and I got an amazing NHS physio who spotted my weak core was making me compensate as such
He explained about core and back and it acting like a corset of support. Was all fine after and back to exercise as normal after some time off

Last month it went again. Mine seems to go completely when I'm under horrendous stress (weird I know)
Lovely lovely OOH shoved rectal diazepam in one end and dihydrocodeine and naproxen in the other. I booked private physio, one session and some home exercises and it's good again

It's draining, just makes everything such hard work. The rectal diazepam was actually amazing and it was the first time I was out of pain. If you get dihydrocodeine though you may need a laxative, I've never had to use one before but I was so constipated!

I really sympathise. I had a slipped disc in my 20s, the first doctor I saw just said I was 'a bit stiff' and prescribed some tablets that did nothing. Went to another doctor when I could barely walk, couldn't stand up straight (had kids laughing at me in the street as I looked so odd), and the sciatic pain was so horrendous I was almost suicidal. He thought it unlikely I would have a slipped disc or anything as I wasn't a man in his 50s so he said, he really didn't take me seriously.

I got referred for an MRI, luckily I had health insurance through work so had it done quickly, and had surgery the next day as I was at risk of nerve damage from a burst disc meaning I would have ended up paralysed in my leg and incontinent. I'm absolutely fine now though (touch wood). I would seriously suggest getting the MRI as soon as possible, or consider getting a private scan if at all possible, as the sooner it's sorted the better. You don't want to mess around with back problems.

gardenswithchickensinthem I am happy to join your Pity party! But you know you have a serious problem and you can and should take it seriously.

So I managed to do my back in lifting an empty carrier bag while twisting in the doorway of a car (bag was on the car floor)!

I immediately developed a swearing spree and could not move without saying something rude! Luckily, I kind of knew it would not be permanent and within a few days it was better. I used a hot water bottle on my lower back and a heated wheat bag (shaped like along thick sausage) on my neck as I developed a little bit of refereed pain in the neck!

I saw a private physio and it cost under £50 for a first appointment and massage with this machine like a cattle prod. It was very good. It really helped.

I was also given exercises, it is all better now.

IMHO do not do any exercise unless you are told by a professional what to do.

I hope the MRI scan goes well, I mean they find out and sort out the root cause.

Re "Children laugh at my walking (teacher)" can you speak to these children or have your head speak to the class/group? If you had a permanent disability would the children make fun of your walk, would the school turn a blind to children laughing at a teacher?

Re I worry colleagues think I'm putting it on. Please stop worrying that your colleagues think you are putting it on! If they have had serious back pain they should have sympathy and empathy for you; if they have not had serious and almost constant pain, they do not know how lucky they are!

Re People keep asking how did you do it or what have you done and I just don't know! So you can answer honestly, I just don't know how I did it, these things can happen. It is excruciatingly painful." Any attempts by friends or colleagues to dumb down the pain or play down your situation should be met with a simple "I have never encountered pain like this before, I am seeing a doctor/physio/waiting for an MRI and hope that the doctors will be able to sort this out. But in the meantime it is utterly exhausting to be in constant pain."

I am afraid if anyone questioned me more I would need to say "I am afraid I am exhausted I must go and sit down. If you would like to be of help you could get me a cup of tea, please... etc"

Re "Driving is horribly sore and I'm actually scared to cough or sneeze. I never thought the day would come when I was scared to sneeze!"

Can anyone offer you a lift, at least some days?

Coughing and sneezing are things that can cause these injuries, so I think the advice is to not twist while doing it, but please check with doctor the best way to cough or sneeze to avoid further injury.

I don't want to be alarmist but do be careful.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1223588/Woman-freak-injury-sneeze-sofa-left-bed-ridden-years.html

Re " I hate feeding the cats as I have to bend over." put your cats plate on a chair, unless your at is very elderly I am sure they can jump onto a chair.

PLEASE do not let ANYONE make you feel bad for being ill, if there is any suggestion that you are making it worse than it is please just explain very simply, "I am in agony, I am soldiering on with work and finding it almost impossible." or suitable words to that affect. This is what I would do. If you choose to do it, say it in your own words.

Please take your doctors advice about whether you can be being signed off if this is not sorted very soon, it's Easter holidays so I can't imagine the kids are doing that much this week, are they? Mine are breaking up tomorrow. Are you in a union? Check with doc if soldiering on could really be making things worse.

Are you single? Is anyone offering to help you? Anyone asking if they can do anything for you? Friends, family, Facebook friends, colleagues etc etc? *if so, please, please ask for help, making meals, getting shopping in, loading dishwashed etc. Do not struggle on. If anyone offers help you can just ask for a one off 'could you get me XYZ from shops etc?' Then if they ask again to help you can ask them again to do something.

I suggest you make sure you have some cash at home in case you need to pay for shopping or need to get a taxi somewhere.

Good luck. Please do not take any shit from anyone about this, you are ill.
Get well soon.

wow, sorry that was long!

MRI then physio, surgery, steroid objections, exercises. There are so many options for treatment depending on what they find in the MRI. You don't have to suffer.

Steroid injections, not objections...