AIBU to be frightened of my child having a disability that runs in the family

[daffodilsoverthebridge]

Opinion seems to be divided as to whether or not it is genetic and there's no prenatal screening.

I am now in the awful position where I want a baby but am petrified of passing it down. W

OP you are seeking an assurance that no-one can give you.

Plenty of people have to consider risks and probabilities about all sorts of things before they try to have children.

Having a child is a leap of faith. If you are going to consciously plan a child that leap is part of it.

You seem unable to take that leap, so I guess your choices are to tackle the anxiety you have about having a child with autism then either choose to leap or not. There honestly aren't other options (you have ruled out adoption and egg donation)!

I have a child with severe autism. There was zero autism in the whole family tree so in that sense completely unexpected. We then had another child knowing our elder one had a disability.

As I say people have to consider all sorts of risks and probabilities.

My fourth child has autism, it was completely out of the blue as there is no autism on either side of the family. For a while I thought it ironic that I should have a child with a disability because I was always adamant that I would screen for everything and terminate the pregnancy rather than raise a child with a disability. Luckily I didn't know and I loved ds dearly by the time he was diagnosed at two and a half. Ds's chromosomes are normal,it was felt that we were unlucky, even so, I had no intention of having any more children.
Someone,somewhere had other ideas and when ds was 8 I had dd. I didn't particularly worry, ds was a blip, we had been unlucky,it was a girl the chances were better...... dd was diagnosed with autism around her second birthday.
I won't deny it has been hard work, I have cried with frustration,I've railed at the unfairness but ds and dd have brought a lot of joy.As a family we know better what is important and we laugh a lot.
Yes I wouldn't have signed up for it and I would jump at the chance of a cure (for them though not for me) but I wouldn't change the things I have learned nor the way our family has grown because of the autism.
I'd say YANBU to not want to raise a child with a disability but YWBU to let your fears rule your life.