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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For DH and me not to go to MIL's birthday lunch?

59 replies

puglife15 · 19/03/2016 17:25

I have a 3 week old EBF newborn and a toddler.

DSIL and her children all have had a vomiting bug in the past day or two, they'd been hanging out with other DSIL and PILS yesterday.

We met DSILs and PILs today (they didn't tell us beforehand about the bug Angry ) - DSIL who was sick last night didn't hold the baby or anything but of course we can't be sure none of the others is incubating it now.

Tomorrow we are all meant to be going out for MIL'S birthday lunch, it's a big birthday.

I really really don't want any of us to get the bug, AIBU not to go and to suggest to DH he doesn't go either? Am I being massively precious?

OP posts:
GoldPlatedBacon · 19/03/2016 17:30

Irrespective of the bug I wouldn't go with a 3 week old baby. I made that mistake and it's bit to be repeated (!)

ollieplimsoles · 19/03/2016 17:31

No I wouldn't go, you couldn't get my out if the house with a three week old ebf baby for anything, especially not a birthday tea.

MissingPanda · 19/03/2016 17:34

YANBU You can't avoid every bug and cold that's going around but that doesn't mean you should expose yourselves to the ones you know about.

MissingPanda · 19/03/2016 17:34

YANBU You can't avoid every bug and cold that's going around but that doesn't mean you should expose yourselves to the ones you know about.

MakeItRain · 19/03/2016 17:35

I wouldn't have wanted to go out for a big birthday lunch with my 3 week old ebf baby even without a sick bug in the mix! Lunch out with a baby that young is no fun. Add the risk of catching a sick bug and i'd definitely be making my excuses.

BertrandRussell · 19/03/2016 17:36

If they were all right yesterday and still all right tomorrow then you'll be fine.

DontCareHowIWantItNow · 19/03/2016 17:37

Your DH could still go, especially if it is his DM big birthday.

squashtastic · 19/03/2016 17:38

YANBU. They are for expecting you to 1) leave house with a three week old 2) risk it getting a nasty stomach bug.

Paintedhandprints · 19/03/2016 17:41

Well your probably all about to come down with it anyway, no? Who visits a newborn when they have/ just had d&v! Angry

QuiteLikely5 · 19/03/2016 17:44

This depends, when they got the bug and if the sickness has stopped.

ohtheholidays · 19/03/2016 17:48

No YANBU,just tell them you've all got the bug.

Original poster
puglife15 · 19/03/2016 17:50

Really, I've been out loads! Not particularly wanted to but mostly toddler related or for lunch.. Starting to think I need to spend more time at home but I have no support locally and might go insane staying in.

My worry with DH going is that he will bring the bug back. DN only started being sick I'm the middle of the night last night so the classic 48 hour quarantine period won't be over until early hours of Monday.

OP posts:
Hissy · 19/03/2016 17:51

Nobody's birthday, no matter how big, is worth the price of a 3wk old baby getting seriously ill.

The baby has no immune system to speak of, has had no jabs...

Any normal human being will understand if you don't want to run the risk

Anyone else is an idiot.

Don't go.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 19/03/2016 17:52

Your dh should go. It's his mums big birthday.

Xmasbaby11 · 19/03/2016 17:53

Yanbu. It's not worth the risk.

Hissy · 19/03/2016 17:53

And no. Dh should not go either

Make another date another time.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 19/03/2016 17:54

If it was a really special birthday and I felt I could cope for a few hours with a newborn and toddler on my own, I'd send DH on strict instructions he washes his hands etc and generally tries to avoid getting it by all sensible precautions. But that he goes and comes home as quickly as possible.

I'd not really want to send the toddler with DH as I think this would increase the likelihood of it coming come. I also wouldn't want to ask DH not to go but would maybe discuss it, especially the risk of a newborn getting D&V (or indeed you, which is nasty as I've had it with an EBF baby and it was horrible, DD didn't get it though).

A special meal out with a 3wk old is tough though and wouldn't be my preferred activity.

Original poster
puglife15 · 19/03/2016 17:55

So DN1 got the bug on Wednesday. DN2 and DSIL got it last night. More than 48 hours between them I think.

OP posts:
Hissy · 19/03/2016 17:56

From the timing, I reckon the inlaws will have come down with it tomorrow

PurpleCrazyHorse · 19/03/2016 17:57

Oh if the DN is going to be there, or the DN's immediate family, then I'd be strongly suggesting the DH doesn't go. Active sickness last night/today, isn't good.

QuiteLikely5 · 19/03/2016 17:57

No way could I risk my three week old getting it then.

Can you not get dh to ask if they can postpone until next week?

hejsvejs · 19/03/2016 18:00

I'm surprised they're all planning to go still and that they haven't postponed it!

Original poster
puglife15 · 19/03/2016 18:00

RIGHT - I'm definitely not going and nor are the DC. So the question is whether DH should and on this it seems opinion is divided!

The meal is about an hour's drive away and will probably take at least 2.5 hours so I'd be looking at maybe 5 hours home by myself... Selfishly I hoped to have a bit of support over the weekends this early on, DC2 has reflux and is not a good sleeper so is hard to put down and DC1 is finding having a new sibling hard.

OP posts:
hejsvejs · 19/03/2016 18:03

Can your DH phone your MIL and explain why you're worried about tomorrow and see if they can move it to next weekend?

miraclebabyplease · 19/03/2016 18:04

No. Do something special with her in a month or so. It is just not worth it.

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