Family birthday party

[MammaTo2boys]

I am the youngest of 5 siblings. It is our Mum's birthday very soon, she will be 80.
My hubby, my children and I all live in the south of England. Most of my family live in the north of England.
Two of my siblings (they have older/adult children) have organised the surprise family party for my Mum. I am grateful for that with living so far away, However, the party is a 7pm start with buffet about 9pm.
There is a social media private message that has been keeping the whole extended family updated. I as a sibling was not asked for any preferences before anything was booked. This week I put a message on the private message as follows:
I've only just noticed the time on the invite. Not quite sure if my boys will come as a 7pm start is not inclusive for families with young children. Is there any chance it can start earlier as I am loathe to drive my boys on a 520 mile round trip in 24 hours for a function that's not starting til their bedtime and my eldest has to go to school on the Monday. I know I'm a pain but that late a start just isn't family orientated enough for me.

My childen are 3 and 5. I have been told quite forthrightly to put up and shut up. My husband is not happy and has said that he will not allow me to take the children. It is also worthy of note, that when I knew they were organising the event, I asked if 2 things could be taken into consideration. Firstly could the party be delayed by 2 weeks, as my whole family are moving back 'up north' that weekend or failing that, could it be an afternoon event so that it would be more child friendly. I got neither.
Am I being precious? It is a one off event and children are resillient or should I stick with my gut feeling and not take the children?
Would really like some helpful advice on which decision to make?

Many thanks

[JanetOfTheApes]

Can people stop judging 80 year olds as well as small children, especially regarding their bedtimes? My great aunt is 80, and her and her friends could outlast most of you at a party, while drinking youse under the table.
Although from the sound of it, so could my children.

Go, don't go, whatever you want. But don't expect everyone else in the world to accomodate your strict timetables and need for routine.

[Trollicking]

Sorry but YABU and your message to your family was

I presume it's a reasonable sized gathering so I think having a totally normal 7 o'clock party on a Saturday night is the best plan and likely to suit most people.

I think you should do what you want, either go or not go, but whatever you do I think you should do it graciously and stay away from writing emails.

[BigSandyBalls2015]

I never understand how some people are so inflexible about their kids bedtimes, barring special needs etc. Do they not go out at night for the first ten years of parenthood then? All sounds so dull.

My DDs have always gone to family parties, bbqs, weddings etc from when they were babies, and we also took them with us on NY Eve every year.

What about on holiday? I know someone who puts her kids to bed at 6.30 in places like Spain, then sit on the balcony all evening whispering.

As for 80 year olds preferring afternoon tea and an early night, I recently attended a friends mums 80th at a pub where she was the last off the dance floor and had her GnTs lining up on the bar.