do be annoyed our sex life is being restricted?

[TooAswellAlso]

By someone deciding how often we should be having sex?

DP has type 1 diabetes and with with ED. he has been amazing at getting it dealt with by the GP, and for a few years we have had a regular prescription for a variant of sex drug. (It changes)

We always got it in packs of four. Sometimes we would use this in a week, sometimes over a month (health has meant we haven't used any for a few weeks but that's not long term)

But he's just received a letter saying he will be restricted to four tablets a month. One a week.

It's so hard living with ED, the spontaneous element is already hindered, there's emotions attached to it I couldn't explain (both from his side and mine) but this just seems a kick in the teeth.

He's made an appointment and is going to enquire about a private script or any leeway, but AIBU to be annoyed that someone somewhere decided sex once a week is all we are "allowed"?

No different, we don't at the moment - but if I were to feel I wasn't any longer in the mood I don't feel as much pressure as I would feel now. It's hard to describe - I hate the idea of "wasting" the drugs, I get anxiety anyway, and there's a lot of talk between me and DP about all of it.

And different, I know there are other things than PIV, but ED doesn't just affect your penis. It affects your whole sex drive. And although DP is incredibly unselfish, and we have times the drugs haven't helped and so he just enjoys me, it feels incredibly selfish on my part. He has very little sexual urge without tablets, he gets next to no penile activity without them, and it's very hard to have a sexual relationship which is completely one sided. Wouldn't matter how much I sucked or tugged, without a pill there is very little movement on his part and he does find it almost more frustrating to make a point of that.

I'm not sure if that makes sense though?

Mandi, that's how it was working for us until this letter

Appointment was fairly positive. GP knew of tadalafil - in fact it's one of the ones on a higher dose DP has had in the past as a one pill a time thing - but didn't know anything about the low daily dose. So he's being referred to a urologist who will be able to look into more options for him (or a penisologist as DP text me) and in meantime has extra pills being prescribed as he needs them. They are silendafil is it? Which don't work as well on him as the tadalafil, but that bit is now restricted for budget, hence the referral. I just need to get well now so we can have sex! Ha!

That sounds like it went as well as could have hoped for.

I think so. I made a point of reassuring DP again, but he pointed out this all bothers him quite a bit, so I'm glad we have some kind of solution. It's got to be so hard to be a man in your 30s with ED.

I'm not sure if that makes sense though? It does! Thanks for taking the time to share some thing so intimate in order to explain. I second what the others said then, about a private script.

Glad the GP appointment went well. Now that sildenafil is off-patent, it's actually against the rules for GPs to prescribe X many tablets a month NHS and then top it up privately. We have to prescribe the full amount that the patient needs on the NHS. Our surgery got told off by our local consultant urologist for giving patients 4 tablets a month on the NHS and then extra privately. We now check with patients how many they want. We have some patients getting 12 a month now on their NHS script.

The pharmacy at my local Tesco offers ED meds privately and without a script from your GP. They do a consultation first and seem pretty discreet. Perhaps this is common to their other pharmacies too? Worth a try!

Can also try Oxford Pharmacy Store which is online - this is NHS run but offers a private service IYSWIM so not a dodgy website

An absolutely vile post from Woodlice that Ive reported.

also sex is not a fucking human right
Oh come on, surely there should be a fucking right
A right to fuck
A fucking human right to fucking fuck, for fuck sake

TheReal, thank you for that. That really helps, and will let DP know for his future appointments.

I just love the attitude of "I'm not getting what I want, so you shouldn't either!" It's such a nature argument don't you think?

Seriously though, when did this race to the bottom concept get engrained into our thinking? It's depressing.

Wood lice, as I explained up thread, it not just restricting PIV sex. It restricts everything on his part basically. And by having these drugs, the affect on his mental health is huge - without them, and being prone to depression - he would no doubt need antidepressants, counselling etc.

I'm sorry you don't get the drugs you require on the NHS, maybe that's a fight you should have not against me.

And I'm sure with the amount of money in tax and NI that DP and I are paying that we are funding our own sex drugs thanks, so knock that off your list if you want.

And considering sex is one of the most natural things in the world (for fucks sake we couldn't exist if it didn't happen) and tbh type one diabetes is shit enough as it is, I don't see why we should get a torrent of abuse from you for wanting some help.

Woodlice - not getting a bit at the minute?

Some bizarre attacks/arguments here.

I've got type 1 diabetes too, my clinic lists sex as a recommended form of exercise! So you and your DP are doing your bit for the NHS if you keep him physically and mentally healthy through a bit of regular shagging. Maybe make that argument to your GP.

Medication which allows you to continue with normal activities is important. Today I took 4 extra units of insulin so I could have a hot cross bun. I suppose apple would think that makes me an entitled drain on the NHS

Seriously though, when did this race to the bottom concept get engrained into our thinking? It's depressing.

Exactly.

The NHS, Woodlice, should be treating medical conditions - whether that's yours or the OP's husbands. It should be a better of concern and public knowledge if that isn't happening. Not, 'well, I've been poorly treated, so should everyone else.'

You see the same argument applied to things like pension provision or minimum wage, and it is indeed depressing that people thing the answer to their unfair treatment is to treat someone else unfairly.

Woodlice what is the name of the medicine which is not available on the NHS for your autoimmune disease?

Considering the massive, massive cost to the NHS of any complications with Type 1 diabetes, if a comparatively inexpensive pill a few times a week keeps OP's husband well, it's money extremely well spent.

Anyone carping about this medication being on the NHS probably doesn't know much about Type 1 Diabetes.

Anyone carping about this medication being on the NHS probably doesn't know much about Type 1 Diabetes.

I know a lot about Type 1 diabetes, thank you. My best friend has been a Type 1 diabetic since childhood.

I do not, however, think that it's the NHS's responsibility to fund the OP having sex as many times as she wants to. It just isn't. It'd be nice, but it's not a medical need.

Erectile dysfunction isn't a medical problem? Seriously?

OP isn't asking the NHS to fund regular escorts, just hoping that her husband's medical condition will be treated. I can't see anything unreasonable in that.

You're twisting my words. Of course ED is a medical/NHS issue, but the fact that OP isn't happy with how many times they have sex is not.