to feel threatened by this competitive parenting?

[Winged]

This concerns a friend I've known a couple of years. They have one DC, I have two, one the same age as friend's, one younger. They don't go to the same school.

I really like my friend, we have a lot in common and have a very similar sense of humour. They've also been there for me a lot over the time I've known them. There is just one thing that really bothers me - they think the sun shines out their DC's backside and love to tell me about their achievements quite often. Sometimes it's probably warranted, other times it's over the most mundane crap that all DC do.

My DC are academically bright and have their own talents but I'm not the type to show off or tell people other than my immediate family really. However, after I separated from their abusive father, my DC (the eldest in particular) are experiencing some severe emotional problems and I'm struggling to find the right help. They have hobbies and interests but as my ex is next to useless, this all falls to me and it's tiring. Life is stressful for me for a multitude of reasons and I feel this adversely impacts the opportunities my DC have. My friend is well aware of our circumstances and been witness to some of our problems.

Obviously it's parents evenings at many schools right now and my friend told me that their DC is overachieving in every area. Last parents evening, friend told me that their DC's teacher had said their DC along with one other in the class was the brightest and doing the best. Their DC also does a sport and has apparently been told that they could be a pro one day they're so good at it. My friends circumstances are very different. They share care much more with their XP and as they both earn more, are able to offer more to their DC.

I guess if I'm brutally honest, I feel jealous. I'm so worried about my DC and how they are coping right now. I worry about their future opportunities and my friend telling me this just exacerbates this. Their DC is a lovely kid but normal in that they misbehave sometimes although my friend seems oblivious to much if this and in all honesty, their normal child misbehaviour pales against my DC's lashing out due to the problems we've got with ex etc.

It's making me want to sever the friendship but I feel like I'm being unreasonable and I shouldn't begrudge my friend wanting to share their pride for their DC. What does it say about me that I can't stand it?

So, Aibu about this? There is a twist to this story but I'm not sure how relevant to the problem it is and I don't want it to cloud the answers. I will reveal all later though.

[squeak10]

Been there, heard it. Turned out their dc had to resit exams. Concetrate on your dc, they can't be perfect at everything. Wallow in their achievements at what they are good at and encourage them. Be proud of them and stuff bragging op. Don't compare your dc, it's not a competition

[MissRabbitHasTooManyJobs]

I'm 38 so went through primary school 82-89 and unfortunately then there was "top of the class" we were literally graded 1-30.
I was a clever kid and was always 1-3 but that horrible feeling when the teacher read out the list has never left me. The poor kid at number 30 :(

I've not managed to do anything fabulous with my life career wise and maybe I was in a class where lots of dc struggled- who knows?

It was always me and two other girls.

Now my dd is in my old school in reception and I would be mortified if this practice still existed.
Dd is bright, a good all rounder and in a high ability group ( done by colours ) but no way i think she's top of the class, she struggles with numeracy and I support her at home.
Again, depends on the cohort.

If the teachers were to do this now it would massively damage the self esteem of those dc who do find school difficult or who have sen ( I have a ds with asd in secondary school ) and remember the struggles he had.

Of all the teachers I know, most of them are extremely reluctant to divulge class position or even groups.
We were told about our situation as guided reading was being explained and it came into the conversation.

It's so easy to try and compare but the best thing to do is focus on the achievements of your own dc.

When ds got his diagnosis the doctor said to me " play on his strengths and work on his weaknesses " and I think this is relevant to any child.