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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Health Anxiety Ruining My Life

111 replies

PeppaAteMySoul · 17/03/2016 09:28

Hello,
Someone please tell me IABU to be thinking like this. Yesterday I found a mouth ulcer on my top gum it's tiny- only a few mm across but because it doesn't hurt and it seems a tiny bit sunken into the gum I have convinced myself it is cancer. I do this everytime I find something abnormal and it ruins my life. Instead of enjoying my toddler today I am rubbing iglu into my gum while staring at the mirror every 5 seconds to see if it has gone yet.

OP posts:
jlivingstone · 19/03/2016 06:03

portobelloroad: Do you think people with bipolar...need to put their "big girl pant on and be an adult"?

Yes I do. Whilst a year of taking lithium helped my bipolarity, managing it has been much better since I came to terms with it and taught myself to cope. A big part of that (99.99%) was becoming a parent / married and realising other people depended on me and I needed to step up.

jlivingstone · 19/03/2016 06:04

^should have said that it was 15 years ago I was diagnosed after a failed suicide. 14 years ago that I refused to let it define me and be anything other than an aspect of my personality.

jlivingstone · 19/03/2016 06:06

^sorry for multiple posts.
I hope that didn't come accross as happy-clappy self-help book nonsense. I don't believe in any of that (although Alan Carr did get me off the cigarettes).

Chrisinthemorning · 19/03/2016 06:10

As a dentist- an ulcer needs to be present and not healing for more than 3 weeks before we worry.
As a MNer Flowers I suffer with a lot of HA myself and it's horrible

MissRabbitHasTooManyJobs · 19/03/2016 06:46

Jeez no wonder people don't speak up about things when faced with attitudes like the pp who thinks were all hypochondriacs :(

This is a real and horrible condition as I'm sure you are aware. It's like me saying " oh well just get over it "
My post showed that I have an understanding of the condition and that in time it can get easier to manage, not that there is a miracle cure or that it's all in our heads.

Living with this can be a living hell, it's such a taboo subject and the fact that op has posted here for support demonstrates that's exactly what she needs, not dismissive comments.
Why is there always one?

Op the majority of posters here have your back, keep posting Flowers

gunting · 19/03/2016 06:58

Best to just ignore the goady fucker..

OP I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I've suffered with health anxiety since I was 10 and it's comes and goes. The worst thing is not knowing if symptoms are real or in your head.

Go to the GP, but not about your ulcer. Go and ask to be referred for CBT, it helped me a lot. Being referred does take awhile but I found this self help guide really useful. www.nhs.uk/conditions/hypochondria/Documents/Health%20Anxiety%20A4%20%202010.pdf

blearynweary · 19/03/2016 07:12

Jlivingstone what a horrible thing to write.

I fail to see how anyone remotely empathetic can read everything the OP has written and then type what you did.

Sallystyle · 19/03/2016 10:22

A 'disease' that affects those around a 'sufferer' than the person with it. You can cure hypochondria by putting on your big girl pants and being an adult.

Fuck you, just fuck off.

You have no idea what hell I've been through, no idea at all. Not just me, others here and all over the place. I have gone through hell and back with it, I have a mental illness, I can't put my big girl pants on anymore than someone with depression can.

I fight every day. I watched my children watch their father die, I watched them grieve , I watched their lives be turned upside down. I'm sorry if that made me ill and made me fear that they would have to go through the same with me. I guess I'm just not adult enough.

Op came here for help.

You are pathetic. Probably a troll as well and not even worth my anger.

jeanswithatwist · 19/03/2016 10:28

jlivingstone you sound like a really refreshingly nice person not. what a fucking cunt of a person. get your kicks digging at people? makes you feel good about yourself? sort your own life out first, noone happy with their lot is so deliberately cuntish

gunting · 19/03/2016 11:17

These people thrive on others anger so please don't retaliate.

PortobelloRoad · 19/03/2016 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Julietee · 19/03/2016 21:49

Applause for Portobello.

Me too, OP. I primarily have OCD, and health anxiety is definitely part of my obsessive ruminations.

It sucks, and indeed can suck up all your energy and will to do or engage with anything else,
Flowers

Get some rest.

Alexa444 · 19/03/2016 22:20

I have had to get very very stern with myself over Google. Don't ever Google symptoms of anything because you will self diagnose yourself with anything and everything under the sun. I was really tired all the time, had constant headaches, wasn't sleeping, lost weight, mouth full of ulcers and relentless joint pain and Google was convinced I had cancer. Know what it was? Magnesium deficiency. 6 weeks on magnesium supplements and I was fine. Turns out the gastro resistant tablets I was taking to protect my stomach from the painkillers I take for a chronic pain condition were draining my stores of magnesium. I absolutely terrified the shit out of myself for a bloody vitamin deficiency.

Ulcers are often a sign of being a bit tired and run down and sunk in ones are normally from a scratch or graze IME. Like when you scratch yourself on a crisp. Probably nothing. If it's still there in a few days go to the dentist. They don't always hurt either. I've had ones that I didn't even notice until I flossed my teeth in the evening. My nan had one too that was kind of hard and when she went to the dentist he just scraped it away. Apparently it was just a little bit of plaque that had stuck to her gum and hardened.

I do know what it's like, I suffer from General Anxiety disorder and this often extends to my health, probably worsened by the fact that I am in near constant agony and sleep deprived. I've had to set myself a limit of one week. If a symptom is still occurring after a week, then I can worry about it. If it disappears it was clearly nothing to worry about. Tell yourself, out loud that you are being bloody stupid. It's just an ulcer, nothing to worry about. It really does help to voice things even to yourself.

PeppaAteMySoul · 22/03/2016 17:49

Jiving I am aware my anxiety impacts on others as much as me.I already feel shit for that. I suffer from depression and PTSD after I was raped 3 years ago. I assume that is also my fault?

OP posts:
PeppaAteMySoul · 22/03/2016 18:03

Ah started a new thread instead of adding to this one. I had a dental check up today and mentioned my ulcer except I told him it was on the wrong side. (Yes I am a fucking idiot who doesn't know left from right)
The dentist said they couldn't see anything suspicious.
My dp says at the check up bit they would have seen anything anyway. Ulcer at top of gum under lip. Would they have seen this is anyway?

Health Anxiety Ruining My Life
OP posts:
Arkhamasylum · 22/03/2016 18:58

They check everything as a matter of course, OP, whether you've drawn attention to it or not. But it's your health anxiety which is telling you that they might have missed something.

I developed hideous health anxiety after my son was born, so I really do relate, but please get help. It's awful, life-sapping and it's not your fault that you can't 'control' it. That's part of the illness. Go and speak to your GP. I really wish you all the best for the future. It will get better.

(Nice teeth, btw Grin)

PeppaAteMySoul · 22/03/2016 22:13

Thank youn so much. I am pregnant as well so my HA is just getting stupid at the minute. Every twinge and I think it's a miscarriage.
I keep getting flashbacks of being raped and just life seems too hard at the moment.
It's like I understand that what you are saying is rational but then I doubt it. Like my dentist said there was no mark on my gums- but the photo clearly shows a mark so he must have missed it and didn't look well enough. A GP visit might help.

OP posts:
happydollplease · 22/03/2016 22:28

I hope you are feeling better. Flowers

Health anxiety slowly destroyed my life. I had a nervous breakdown and nearly lost everything. In my experience there's so much stigma and misconception surrounding hypochondria that it prevents people from talking about it and seeking treatment.

I was belittled by my family and friends when I suffered. It's a fucking lonely and soul destroying journey that you cannot begin to imagine unless you've been through it. I honestly wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd ever lead a normal life again but I have and I do. Please PM me any time OP and anyone else who suffers from this very real and horrible illness.

PeppaAteMySoul · 22/03/2016 23:07

Happydoll your story has actually made me cry Flowers. I feel the same loneliness you talked about and the same fear that I will never think "normally" again. I hope I can come through to the other side like you have. God I hope it happens before my next child is born.

OP posts:
Orwellschild · 23/03/2016 00:52

peppa I've had mouth ulcers scores of times,throughout my twenties. Never have they turned out to be anything to worry about. My DM also has HA - so I understand your worry.

Rinstead Pastilles (I find) are the best things for mouth ulcers. It should clear up after 2-3 days of these.

PeppaAteMySoul · 24/03/2016 16:41

Real struggle today. :( I saw my GP today about anxiety who just gave me a load of leaflets. Not really helpful at all! :(

I showed him my mouth ulcer and said it had been there done over a week now doesn't hurt and isn't getting better. He wants to see me next Friday if it's still there will refer me to dental hospital. If it is still there does that mean it's definitely cancer????

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 24/03/2016 17:01

OP I was referred to the oral people at hospital because I have a white thing on my gum, it was a white circle with red around it, not sore or anything.

Turns out it is a salivary gland pushing up and it is not harmful but I had convinced myself it was cancer. It's still there. The dentist only referred me for peace of mind.

I would personally go back to the dentist after another week or two and not the GP. No offence to GPs but they don't know half as much about mouths as dentists do and your dentist can refer you if they think it is needed. For example GP wanted to refer me for tongue lumps, but the dentist knew straight away that it was my bite and I had been biting my tongue at night and only needed a mouth guard.

A referral does not mean cancer. Your GP was probably trying to put your mind at rest and most GPs are not good at dealing with HA. Some are fantastic but others try to reassure in a way that actually causes us more harm.

If you are checking it or prodding it it will remain red and take much longer to heal. You are introducing germs and stretching the skin, it's not conductive to healing.

I bet you that if you left it alone for a whole week and looked again it will be almost healed.

I have shined a torch in my mouth countless of times and found a heap of things I thought was cancer, all of which my dentist assured me is normal for me.

So you have no reason to panic, no real medical reason that is. Ulcers can last for three weeks, they can take two weeks to start to heal. Right now you have an ulcer that millions of people all over have, a week old ulcer is nothing. A few weeks and if it doesn't heal then yes, that is more suspicious but even then it doesn't mean cancer. It could be the same as what I have, it could be a lot of things, cancer probably the least likely of them all at your age.

ssd · 24/03/2016 17:08

my mum dying has started my health anxiety and I cant get any cure for it

Sallystyle · 24/03/2016 17:15

You can come out the other side, it might be a life long fight like it is for me or you might find that once the baby has been born and your hormones stabilise that you might not struggle with it ever again.

You know I'm going through a rough patch right now but look at the difference

In the past I could barely function some days. I would sleep with a mirror next to my bed because I couldn't face walking down the stairs to look when I woke up with a panic attack. I didn't talk about anything other than my health and people got bored of me. I would shower in the dark so I didn't find anything else to find on my body. I covered every mole and freckle with foundation so I didn't keep looking at my moles. I couldn't let dh touch my boobs incase he found a lump. Constant panic attacks, suicidal thoughts.

Now this is my bad patch

Work in Oncology
Talk to people dying from cancer on a regular basis
I sit there when people are given the news of their cancer which has spread, all without a panic attack.
I look in the mirror a few times and slightly panic. I talk myself down. See a GP if the worry doesn't fade but 9 times out of 10 I'm rational.

I have a pre-cancerous skin lesion. I'm ok with it. It's a concern but I know that if it turns cancerous if this treatment doesn't work they will cut it out, I will be fine. In the past I would be convinced I was dying and wouldn't have been able to function.

There is life at the end of the tunnel.

Sorry for the essays. I am very passionate about HA and I have some books and resources I can recommend if you think they would be useful?

gottachangethename1 · 24/03/2016 17:17

I also suffer with health anxiety. I'm currently on week three of a CBT programme.which is really starting to help ( scary facing up to certain things though!) I also upped by dosage of anti anxiety tablets, as my life was becoming unbearable. I've felt suicidal several times. You are not alone op, please seek some help. The ulcers are almost certainly a result of being run down, I get them all the time. Best of luck to you.