Tell me about things that really piss you off even though you know you're being unreasonable...

[CrazyNewDogLady]

I'll start.

My mum always puts 'your' in front of every single activity, work, hobby I do and it annoys the fucking life out of me. For example, me and DH bake a cake every Saturday because we're cool like that. Every time we speak on Saturdays she asks 'Did you do your baking today?'. I find it patronising, like she's saying 'Did you do your little baking activity today? Ah, good girl'.

I know I'm BU. I know she doesn't mean to be patronising but it boils my piss. But because I'm BU, I can't say anything. So I have to just fume quietly and vent on MN

Other people whistling

the words 'hubby' and 'lippy'. OOOOOoooooooooooooooo!

the shagwanking cunt of the testiculated being across the road who head bangs to NO music.

People who can't cook.

Cats. Fucking shitting bastards!

The fact it apparently needs 3 people to serve one customer in Debenhams, which means I've now been queuing for 10 minutes. I have given up on pa eyebrow raising and am mumsnetting instead!

DH springing a change of plans on me and in the next breath telling me he has sorted all the changes required.. Except he hasn't but if I say anything I get told not to worry... Well I'm not and when dc1 hasn't had lunch I will let him deal with it...

Oh and that fact that he still needs a list of day to day household chores that need doing rather than adulting and looking and thinking grrrr

People who say "sorry" instead of "excuse me, please" when they would like to get past you in a confined space. What are you apologising for, exactly?

People who won't cut their long hair, even though it's too long and the ends are all split

This is very very unreasonable of me and none of my business what people do to their own hair but it drives me insane. I have a hatred of split ends

When I lived in shared houses I often used to avoid the kitchen until I knew no one else was there, going hungry rather than actually speak to some of my flat mates (not all of them).

Currently unreasonably irritated by any tv programme that has the words 'The Great British xyz' (apart from GBBO, that's allowed), 'The Nation's Favourite xyz' or, the current trend, 'The Secret Life of xyz'. That last one really annoys me.

Handy hints being described as 'hacks'. Grr.

Just about everyone I am EVER on public transport with. Admittedly some of the time I'm not being unreasonable, but the mindless stupidity of a zonked out teenager wearing headphones and blocking the aisle is nearly enough to make me burst a blood vessel.

I hate to break it to you, but OED have added the wrong use of 'literally' to its definition!!

People pronouncing 'tongue' as 'tung'
People talking about coffee as if it is a vital part of life....You are addicted!...get help!
Friends who say 'excuse the mess' every time I go into their houses...Shut up or tidy up! (It's never a mess usually anyway!!)

ILs constantly referring to me as "funny" for e.g. requesting that the pond be covered and asking them to cut up grapes (for young DS, not for me I hasten to add).

Someone who told me all last year while I was dying of sleep deprivation looking after toddler DS and baby DD that it's totally natural for babies not to sleep and unrealistic of me to expect sleeping through the night before 2 years old or something - and is now already complaining of exhaustion one week into having her DC2

Soooo tempted to respond in kind and send her the link to the patronizing article she sent to me last year on how babies are not supposed to sleep as newborns and waking up every 2 hours forever is totally normal. Soooo tempted. But she is only just adapting to this parenting-2-kids thing and that would be mean. So I am venting on here instead...

People pronouncing 'tongue' as 'tung'

How do you think it should be said?

I'm from West Yorkshire and say "tung", most of the people from South Yorkshire say "tong".

People who breathe loudly as they eat
People who put their shirts in the laundry basket without undoing the buttons
People who are always late
People at work who sigh and huff but deny there's anything wrong.

I'm also confused about the pronunciation of tongue...but then I'm from NI and no-one understands how we pronounce anything

Loading the dishwasher and then my dp comes along and "does it properly"

most of the people from South Yorkshire say "tong".

I'll let them off. Anyone else saying tong has gone mad.

People who chew with their mouths open
People who blow their nose in public (unless absolutely required)
People who suck air through their teeth
Hearing other people's music through their headphones
People who sniff loudly
People who slurp their drink then go 'ahh'
Bad spelling (even though mine isn't always perfect)
Music in restaurants / cafés (unless very quiet background music)
People parking outside my house

I am a horrible person . I do a good job of hiding my annoyance though.

People eating - especially munching loudly on things like crisps or crackers

People who walk too quickly behind me

I say tongue as "tong".

Everyone in my office thinks I can't cook

Was started a while ago when I had a housewarming and a lot of stuff was new. So they thought I never used it

Truth is I'm a good cook and cool fresh stuff for DH all the time. It really really gets to me and I am getting increasingly annoyed about the comments such as "you would probably burn the water".

I can hear my neighbours yabbering talking through the wall. It's so fucking annoying as they talk so loudly!! But totally unreasonable of me to be annoyed at them talking inside their own home

People who, when you ask them if they'd like a drink, look at their watch; do that "puffffffff" thing where they expel air from their cheeks like I would if you asked me the square root of 37,485,981, then ask their DP if they're having a drink, ad what time is dinner, and so on until I'm all but screaming "it's just a feckin drink do you want one or not?" Do they think the watch will tell them if they're thirsty? Will their DH have a better idea of their need for a beverage than they do? Am I really asking them to define Fourier space instead of the perfectly simple "would you like a cup of tea?" It's not fucking hard. It's a yes or no answer. So why this performance every time? I've decided they get 3 seconds to respond or the offer is off the table. It's either that or I commit a homicide.

People who don't have their means to pay out and ready when the cashier tells them the price of their shopping

And very Irrationally I park on the street and when someone parks in 'my space' boils my blood

Davina. McCall. She gives me the rage.