Tell me about things that really piss you off even though you know you're being unreasonable...

[CrazyNewDogLady]

I'll start.

My mum always puts 'your' in front of every single activity, work, hobby I do and it annoys the fucking life out of me. For example, me and DH bake a cake every Saturday because we're cool like that. Every time we speak on Saturdays she asks 'Did you do your baking today?'. I find it patronising, like she's saying 'Did you do your little baking activity today? Ah, good girl'.

I know I'm BU. I know she doesn't mean to be patronising but it boils my piss. But because I'm BU, I can't say anything. So I have to just fume quietly and vent on MN

Woah - rogue apostrophe there!

Work colleagues.

'As a family'

Biccies.

People singing at me. As in, looking directly at me and singing with the radio or whatever. Especially if I'm trying to have a conversation with them. It's weird!

People trying to use their OAP travel pass before 9am. Happens almost every day when I am on the bus to work. No, the bus driver is not being awkward or a jobs-worth. He could lose his job if he lets you on. Whats the rush anyway, you've got all day?

Brekky.
Chocky.
Hubby.
Everyone on (and everything about) public transport.
People asking "are you SURE it's not twins?" for the hundredth time about my perfectly normally sized 7 month bump.

My DP does the car park thing. The more choice he has the worse it is.

Family members who buy my DD clothes for xmas and birthdays. Yes I may BVVU and ungrateful but If she doesn't like something she won't wear it and it will just sit there unused of I will give it away because you refuse to give receipt or pull tags off so I can't swap it. You are wasting your money! Especially clothes with peppa fucking pig on. They may make them in her size but she stopped watching it 2 bloody years ago.

People saying "I done this last night" or " I seen this" its is I have done or I have seen or I did or I saw! It's really annoys me no end!

People coughing and not putting their hand over their mouths.

When we arrive home DH/DD//DS trying the door handle and being surprised that it is locked! FFS yes the door is locked we were all out!

Neighbours insisting on giving my children sweets and crisps over the hedge!
The hedge that is really low because neighbours and previous owners were best friends and used to stand and chat for hours over said hedge!

DH doing a bit of tidying or whatever and thinking he's a fucking rockstar! Hello just do it, don't expect praise for something I have to day in day out!

And breathe! There's loads more but I won't bore you all!

People who 'bless me' A lot of young girls do this all the time where live and in general conversation to each other as well. Infuriates me! I'm not a child!! I'm a 38 yr old women who doesn't need 'blessing' arrgghhhh!! My hairdresser in her young 20's does it all the time, once I counted 15 'bless ya's' in half an hour!! She'll ask a question and I'll answer and she will reply 'ahh bless ya' I find it really patronising!!! Really puts me off going.

My worst one (apart from grammatical mistakes and DH sneezes) is people who see fit to comment on what I do at lunch time.

I go to the break room 1/2 way through my 10 hr day for my paltry 30min break. I say hello to people who are already in there, maybe engage in a brief moment of small talk then settle down with my lunch and the paper/a book/my phone.

Without fail some fucker always walks in and goes off on a 'jokey' rant about how no one is talking, they're all on their phones, the art of conversation is dead, bore bore bore. I used to do a polite laugh whist inwardly seething but now I say loudly that I spend my entire day customer facing, making small talk, sorting out problems or soothing people so I am sick of the sound of my own voice and am enjoying the peace and quiet!

They are bastards to disturb my fucking break with their inanities.

People who tell me they're 'praying' for me. Just don't. And I know it's coming from a nice place, but it drives me bananas. I'm a massive atheist; chances are, if you mention my name in a prayer, I'll burst into flames. So don't. Thanks.

People who don't drink at least one hot drink. Having people come here for meetings, and offer them a drink, and they say no, I genuinely do not know how to react to that situation. I then have to offer juice or water and I feel like I'm treating them like a child. Please, just say yes then don't drink it, it makes life so much easier

People who say Harry Potter is a children's book

People who say 'we're pregnant'. No, you are NOT both pregnant. 'We're expecting', 'we're going to be parents' all fine, but unless a)you are a female same-sex couple both pregnant at the same time or b)there have been major medical advances I'm unaware of, then you are not both pregnant!

Voldy I don't like tea or coffee and more than happy to drink water or juice. Just don't serve it up in a Tommee Tippeee sippy cup

People who say 'we're pregnant'.

Ah yes, I forgot that gem

Agreed re people clapping along with music makes them look like a bunch of seals with bad rhythm.

People who say 'we're pregnant'. No, you are NOT both pregnant. 'We're expecting', 'we're going to be parents' all fine, but unless a)you are a female same-sex couple both pregnant at the same time or b)there have been major medical advances I'm unaware of, then you are not both pregnant!

Yes especially when the woman tries to justify it as in "he's going through it too...". It just makes me cringe, I honestly view it as internalised misogyny/emotional labour ... of course he bloody isn't. Giving up fags or booze as moral support to your wife is NOT carrying a fetus and feeding it with your blood/nutrients then pushing it out of your body in an epic life-changing effort. And I've never seen a guy stick his fingers down his throat for the first 3 months, then strap a bowling ball to himself for the next 3, give himself piles, punch his man-boobs till they're sore etc.

Do. Not. Make. Out. The. Menz. Are. Working. As. Hard. As. Us. At. Pregnancy.
It's particularly offensive to women overcoming medical stuff or high risk pregnancies.

Coffeecupempty I wonder if you have my old hairdresser? I actually changed hairdressers partly because she kept saying 'bless you' to everything I said, which I found incredibly patronising.

Arty farty people who look down at you for not 'getting' their modern art.

"Oh, but can't you see Violet, this piece is symbolic of the struggle between good and evil, the power of humanity, and so bold and unapologetic in its message".

No, it's a green splodge on a cornflakes packet. Fuck off.

sqiz see also: DP trying to do competitive tiredness/backache etc with me (33 weeks pregnant).
Yes, I know you've been at work all day but SO HAVE I AND I AM SIMULTANEOUSLY MAKING A HUMAN 24 HOURS A DAY AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.

Customers asking for e.g. a packet of cigarettes, thats 7.40 please, oh and a number 10 scratch card, 9.40 please, eh and a number 4 scratch card, thats 11.40, is there anything else? no thats it. 11.40 then please, eh i'l take a lucky dip for tonight too. AAAAARRRGGGHHH!

'The Edit'

Fuck OFF. It's just your actual stock.

People who say 'cray cray'.
People who say 'om nom nom'.
People who stand at pedestrian crossings and don't press the button. WHY? FFS!!!
People eating.
Any mouth noises. My husband likes making what he thinks of as 'funny noises'. I want to punch him.
People who drop litter.
People who talk VERY loudly in the street.
People who brag on Facebook about how wonderful, beautiful and talented their children are. (I know I'm being unreasonable here)
People who put a vague status update on Facebook, clearly wanting everyone to ask what is wrong and then when someone does ask, say "I'll message you later hun". If you don't want everyone to know your problem, then DON'T TELL EVERYONE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG ON FACEBOOK.
People who hoik and gob in the street.
People who cycle on the pavements and then get annoyed because there are pedestrians in the way.
People.

A man from the factory floor (upstairs) keeps using my the only downstairs ladies loo. It doubles as the disabled loo also, but he isn't disabled. To get to this toilet, he has to pass the men's and the upstairs ladies toilets.

Ooh yes to lots of this, particularly People who think they're mad/bonkers/crazy lolz or describe themselves as being really funny (and they NEVER are) and Neighbours in their gardens,

could of instead of could have, we done instead of either we did or we have done, DH rehanging all the washing I've just hung up because he likes it hung differently, DH stirring whatever it is I'm cooking even if I don't want it stirred thank you very much DH and I planning to do something at a set time or after a set time interval and then him being ready to leave earlier than agreed while commenting that I'm never ready on time. People who come and swim in the work swimming pool at the same time as me and even worse the ones who start chatting to you when they recognise you - I really do not want to talk to you when I'm not wearing more than a very unflattering costume thank you very much. And the senior people in the office who insist on using the gym showers with the curtains open so that they can show off their brazilian chat to each other and talk to you as you go past

Getting myself all irritated at my desk just thinking about them all...

People who talk on their mobiles with this headset thing. It always freaks me out because I think they're talking to themselves and it just looks a bit prattish and self-important as it's always a business call.

Oh and people who beat me to the first bath after I've cleaned the bathroom
People who say they "fell pregnant" implying that they had no involvement whatsoever

People that use their mobile phone for anything other than a quick 'I'll be 5 mins', 'see you at such and such a place'. I hate sitting on the bus or train and having to listen to one side of what is always a tedious conversation.