To want to scream in this woman's face?

[PopcornFiend]

My DD is 18 weeks. Has not slept through yet, but was ok - until 2 weeks ago she was having 1 night feed and settling fine after, so all manageable.

Now, it's like a switch has flicked and she is a nightmare. Unsettled, frequent wakings, thrashing about. I try giving extra feeds but she takes nothing or very little. The other night, she was wide awake at 3am and singing/babbling for an hour and a half. Then woke at 5.30am and did the same, until getting up time at 7am. She is in a co-sleeper cot next to me so I cannot escape the noise.

Last night was the worst - she woke up EVERY HOUR almost to the minute, between 10pm-6am. Thrashing, leg thumping. Not hungry, not wet, not even really crying or grumpy. Just awake and unsettled. I got 30-45 mins sleep at a time, ALL NIGHT. Today I feel like a broken shell.

Anyway. Just been to the childrens' centre to have DD weighed. Woman there with her 8 week old DS, cheerfully telling everyone in the waiting room that he feeds every 4 hours in the daytime and sleeps from 10pm-8am at night.

I know probably IABU to want to scream in her face, I should be happy for her and her miraculous sleeping baby. But I am so tired I cannot see straight, I just want to scream and cry and then drink a bottle of wine.

Thanks for listening.

One day there will be something you're telling people that your DD does and there will be another parent there feeling as you feel now. It's swings and roundabouts and best to rise above it, it's not being said to upset you. You have my sympathy though on the lack of sleep front. It's tough

It's all swings and roundabouts in he end.

My twins were both bad sleepers and at your stage I though I would actually die from lack of sleep as I hadn't had more than 2 hours together since they were born.

On the other hand we navigated the terrible two tantrum stage without too many issues.

Friends with magic sleeping babies had to deal with tantrums from hell.

Throughout your whole journey as a
parent someone else's child will be better, faster, brighter than yours. And then the scales tilt again and it's your turn to have the 'easy' child.

My children are 8 and loving, funny, well behaved little people. I'm already distinctly worried about the teenage years as I'm pretty sure our turn is coming!

None of mine slept through til at least 6 months, and I know some people have it a lot, lot worse.

Fwiw, I remember 3-4 months with my firstborn as being the bit that most knackered me out. It will get better, OP. Yes, I think some babies do, miraculously, sleep through at 8 weeks. Not quite sure how.

Things will get better. They will. Can you nap while she is napping or does she only sleep on you (another DC1 trick)?

Do you have a partner who can sleep in the same room as your DD, and bring her in to you for feeds (if breastfeeding)? Just to give you some rest.

she is a big fucking liar

Latin - Can't nap when she's napping unfortunately as she only naps for about 40 mins, 3 or 4 times a day. DH can't really help at night - he has to leave for work at 5am and he does a very physically demanding job. He did do a night shift with DD once, but I could hear everything (even sleeping on sofa downstairs) and got no extra sleep myself.

Will just have to suck it up I think and maybe start going to bed at 7pm when DD does. I go back to work in 6 weeks though, so if this isn't resolved by then I really don't know what I'm going to do - my job involves a lot of driving, which will NOT be safe if I'm still this sleep deprived!

I don't know why she is bragging. Young babies are not made to sleep that long without waking. I would personally be concerned if my baby slept that long at that age.

I'm guessing she is formula feeding, no judgey pants here as DS was mix fed. Her time will come - Formula fed babies are proven to suffer from more illnesses and infections so she will have plenty sleepless nights ahead.

I always assume people are exaggerating. Sil told me the same. Dbro told me different.

But either way try not to stress about it. It's not really anything she did or didn't do.

lacontessa

I am so doing that to ds1...

I will jump in his bed at 90 minute intervals and stick my fingers up his nose :) then when he finally wants to go somewhere urgently I will fall into a coma like state.

I feel your pain, op. It's ok to feel a bit stabby about it all. Have a quiet desparate scream at the walls when you get home.

YANBU to think it after that little sleep but YWBU to actually do it!

My DS didn't sleep through regularly until over 3 yrs old but had phases when his sleep was as you describe for weeks on end. I had to try hard not to scream at people who liked to tell me about how amazingly their child slept. He generally sleeps ok now at 6 but is still a very early riser....I'm planning banging the Hoover round his room at 6am every weekend when he's a teenager .

Are you sure she had a real baby and not a dolly? She's obviously doing something wrong if not

Been there - and yes 4 month sleep regression - whenever they're about to make a huge leap in development, so sitting up, crawling coming up at this stage, it can disturb their sleep. Walking talking at twelve months ish is a big one too. I found it helps if you have an idea of why, you're still tired but don't feel as murderous with it.

I've had bad sleepers but it was easier on the second one because you can see how fast it all goes and that there are peaks and troughs so more bearable. With your first it is like a tunnel that you can't see the end of. But it's there. Somewhere.

My ds got better at one ish but still woke once or twice, then started sleeping through as soon as he got all his teeth at 2 ish, my dd has two more to go I'm not winking I'm half asleep.

Awww OP - I have a 5 week old DD. She woke last night every 1.5 - 2 hours on the button for a feed. She wore herself out and has been upset and over-tired all morning - she has just FALLEN ASLEEP - wohoo!.

So I'm with you on the feeling broken and horrible - and all my antenatal friends with babies seem to be only waking once or twice a night for a feed

I'm not sweating it much - it's such early days. My DP does help out at night though - I would be on my knees if he didn't.

Sending . It will pass and we will have a squawking, energetic toddler on our hands

The one time I thought I might actually scream at someone was when ds was 16 months and had never slept longer than a two hour stretch at a time, and a relative said well you knew what you were getting into.

OP, I hope you manage some sleep and your dd settles again soon

FWIW, I wouldn't have wanted any of mine at 8 weeks to be sleeping so long without a feed. This woman was probably lying anyway.

Skipton YES.

I will also dramatically enter their rooms at 3am and shout "MY SOCK HAS FALLEN OFF" or "I CAN'T FIND BATMAN" while holding him in my fucking hand, thank you very much DS2

Sweet, sweet vengeance.

Perhaps the other mother was struggling too and was saying that to everyone in a "look at me, it's okay, I'm looking after my baby, please don't think I'm a bad mother, I'm not struggling with this, honest" sort of way.

I remember my neighbour coming over with her then baby, he hadn't slept for more than about 10 minutes in over 3 months and she looked like something from a horror movie! She cried on my kitchen table after coming back from her NCT group and apparently everyone elses babies were sleeping through. I made her lunch and said that usually everyone elses babies are NOT sleeping through. In my experience there is one loud mouth whose baby may or may not be sleeping through, who feels they need to announce it to the world. It makes everyone else feel inferior and worthless, they are usually so tired and the last thing they are going to say is "Really? I have seen every phase of the moon and doubt if I will ever have a good nights sleep again in my life, but glad life is so cushty for you" so they just stay queit and assume they are isolated on a desert island of tiredness and what the fuck did I let myself in-for-ness. Reality is everyone is in the same boat.

But I'm actually a bit an 8 week old baby sleeping 10 hours without food would be a concern and not something to be pleased about. His little body is growing and developing.

I had a miraculous sleeping baby until she was 6 months old. She then spent the next 18 months waking constantly. At one particularly glorious stage she woke every 45 minutes, without fail, to demand BOOBY! in outraged tones. She screamed so much like a car alarm that we genuinely mistook her for one one night (we were downstairs, so it was a bit muffled. And we were, obvs, rather sleep deprived). The neighbours gently asked if everything was all right on more than one occasion.

This is a long way of saying: revenge shall be yours. Perhaps. (My first was like yours. Kids are great, but do also have an infinite range of ways to make you feel like shit warmed up and then left to fester in a nappy for a week.)

Whenever I told people my school had slept through, they followed it by being up all night for the next 6 weeks. I was smug at that stage but still up quite often with them many years later.

LaContessaDiPlump I am yet to get my own back, but that would be fantastic. My 13 year old gets up at miday on Saturdays. Next weekend I'm so doing the Batman routine, although I have long since forgiven him for his 4 am need for round tubby toast while waiting for the tellytubby sun to rise on the TV!

I had one DD who, after a month or so of evening colicky crying sessions, became a "perfect " sleeper. At 18 months we went on holiday with friends who spent the evening in turns pacing up and down with their 18mo trying to get her sleepy, then trying to get her settled in bed, whilst we just popped ours down at 19.30, said goodnight, and settled down with the wine! (obviously we also took turns helping them too, not that insensitive!) Anyway, I never crowed about it and was glad too - one night when she was just over 2 she woke in the night and would not settle - and from that day on she was a little shit at bedtime. The sort Samuel L Jackson narrated that book about. She would not go the feck to sleep at all. She's a teenager now and STILL up all hours....

Sounds like a sleep regression OP - it is like a switch flicks. I would say my DS has always been a great sleeper - but that's in general. We got pummelled with EVERY SINGLE sleep regression going and I felt like everything was going wrong. Then it would just stop when they learn to do whatever darn thing their brain wants them to learn. At 9 months we had 6-8 weeks of night waking cured only by baby in the bed and I was panicking about sleep training and being strict, then one night it was just over. Like it never happened. So if your DD started out settling well then it will probably pass soon. for you while you ride it out!

Also YANBU, people should be careful what they yap about because it's never all perfect all the time. She's got a long way to go yet...

I'd have wanted to scream too. My DS is 10 weeks, and the only time I've had more than 1.5hours sleep was yesterday. when my husband took DS out for a walk at 6am and kept him until he was screaming hungry (won't take a bottle) at 9am. I was so grateful.

She might not be lying my dd started sleeping through at 8 weeks from 7pm-5am. So it's perfectly possible!

Yanbu to be worn out and fed up, no doubt the other mum made you feel angry, maybe she was too smug but yabu to give 2 hoots about other peoples lives! So many babies don't sleep through so hopefully you will get lots of support here

I had this DS was FF by then he was taking bottles every 2.5-3 hours in the day and then slept from 9 until between 6 and 7 from 8 weeks...........until he was 18 weeks and then we had sleepless nights every night until he was 1. It will come to her too so I hope she wasn't too smug about it and if she was you can enjoy it when you see her in a few months time and she is hanging out of her arse at the shock of a little baby doing what a little baby should do.

None of my 3 have been good sleepers. My nights are still rubbish and DD2 is 2 now. I've been up, cabbage leaves on my throbbing boobs at 4 am etc. I know how gruelling it is.

Despite that, it makes no odds to me how someone else's baby is sleeping. What are these women supposed to do? Never talk about sleep patterns just because they've got a baby that sleeps well? Should they pretend otherwise?

It's not smug to simply say what's happening. It's not smug to join in a discussion about sleeping babies. Women certainly shouldn't feel they need to shut up about it.

Take no bloody notice

She's lying
No one likes a bragger

Bloody hell. This place sometimes.