to wonder if my son is hitting all age appropriate goals.

[cjt110]

My son is 19m. Nursery say he's doing great and hitting all milestones as he should. He started when he was around 9m old (on his belly commando style) and crawled properly at about 11m. He took his first steps at 15m, walking confidently within a few days of his first steps.

He can just about spear food with a fork (with help at times), can't really manage a spoon without emptying the contents before it gets to his mouth, he holds his hands out and does a grabbing motion when he wants something or to be picked up, he will follow instructions like to sit down or to put something back.

He has little verbal skills - He says "Baa Baa Shu" for Baa Baa Black Sheep and "Ye Sh Ye Sh" for Yes sir yes sir. He also says Da for his Dad, sometimes Mamamama for me when he's upset.

I have no experience with children other than my son and I so desperately want him to talk and have proper words! I know all children are different but so many others are saying words and they are younger than him!

Mine were all slowwwwww to use proper words despite my manic talking and trying to encourage them. They probably didn't start taking until 2+. 3 of them were referred for speech therapy, BUT by the time the appointments came through they were talking in full sentences with really good vocab for some reason they just started late but then improved quickly.

Your son sounds totally normal to me

Thanks for your reply thinkingofayear He's a real observer - I see him at nursery often observing the others rather than joining in but he is in no way shy or reclusive. He can communicate with us (most of the time) what he's after so perhaps he just doesn't feel the need right now? It's so hard when you have no prior experience to know whats "normal" and when friends with younger children say their child is saying X, Y and Z it makes me worry he's falling behind.

He sounds fine. Honestly, try not to worry - I know it's hard when it's your only child and you don't know what's normal, but there is such a broad range of normal! If there were any issues, nursery should let you know.

Mine was a watcher :)

He would stand and observe intently and then if and when he wanted to he would join in. He still does that at 5 yrs, though he now feels social pressure to either dive in or label himself shy or unconfident, which is a shame.

A nursery person once said 'he's one of life's watchers not a leader' which I thought was rather rude and inaccurate, I prefer to think of him being a keen observer to get the information to rule the world!

That does sound like a mean way to describe your son MiscellaneousAssortment but I can also see it as a kind comment too. My son is just content at being on his own, as well as playing with others.

PuntasticUsername Definitely tricky when you have no idea!

MadamDeathstare He hasnt seen a HV since approx 8m for his 1 yr check. He had a hearing test when he was born so I assum ethat would have picked up any issues? It's not that his speech isn't clear, it's more sounds/phonetics

My DS is the same age and has hit gross and fine motor milestones at the same point as yours - maybe a touch slower than average but they've all fallen into place in their own time. He's a little ahead of yours on speech but not much. I didn't actually recognise his first words for a bit as they were a bit indistinct but improving with practice - 'baa' for ball, 'buh' for book, 'caa' for car etc.

It is a good sign that he follows verbal instructions and has a few simple words - that shows all the 'building blocks' are there, he'll just put them together in his own time.

If you don't start to see improvements a hearing test might be worth looking into but to me it sounds like he is very much in normal range at the moment.

Nothing wrong with being a watcher (though i can understand your reaction!). I think the greaters writers, poets and artists could be described as 'watchers'.

Apologies for the derail!

OP - your son sounds well within the normal range - which varies massively but in a few years you won't be able to tell who did what when!

It does vary massively at that age - my DS is nearly 20 and has a vocabulary of about 100+ words and is putting 2 or 3 words together now. He has 2 big sisters who talk A LOT. So he was either going to say nothing during his early years, or try to keep up and speak a lot, he chose the latter
I'd be quite happy with some peace and quiet tbh!!

cjt it's almost like I could've written your post. My DS is 20 months and can say

Hiya
Hello
Tata
All done
Out
Miaow
Woof woof
Raaar
Tea
No

Understands perfectly so it's defo not a problem with hearing as can follow instructions with ease and he did once say "how do you do?" but never said it again.

Other mumsnetters....is this normal?? I worry all the time

It was in the same conversation as them asking what words he had at home as he wasn't speaking much at nursery... Prompting a horrible milestone panic and then I thought I'd write his speech down and realised he had loads more than I realised, though they weren't necessarily perfectly formed words. Cue me relaxing and deciding he was holding back until his world domination plans were complete :)

So from my experience, relax about milestones, a month here and there really doesn't matter at all.

Temperament plays a role as well as so many other factors that means every child develop on their own schedule, not on a perfectly linear line.

Hmmm, the examples you give (missing ends of words) does actually make me wonder about his hearing. The newborn screening test looks for inborn hearing problems, but glue ear type problems are way more common and haven't yet developed during the neonatal screening. So it might be worth touching base with your health visitor for a screening test.

Op and breezy I think you can both take heart that your DC understand instructions.2 of my 3 DS were late to talk. My 26 month old has about 15 words now but he understands everything so I know he's just a late talker. My 6 yr old started to talk at 3.5 but didn't understand anything and he got a diagnosis of ASD at 2.5. It was clear from 13 months that he had a problem as displayed lots of other unusual behaviour.

I would try to relax but talk to your HV if you need reassurance.

Mine is 19 months and has had a word explosion in the past 2 weeks. She had just a few words before that. Now she is coming out with several words each day I had no idea she knew and interacting with us much more (she can have a little conversation with us now as she has yes, no, again, more). I suspect it will happen for yours soon enough.

What your DS can do sounds similar to mine at that age. Neither of them said much at all till past 20-22 months. They are now (5 and 9) so articulate that I quite often feel like going into a dark room for a lie down!

My mother always maintains that children who get a lot of attention from their parents tend to speak later because their wishes are so well anticipated and understood that they don't have to bother saying much.

Having said that, if you are really worried and things don't improve much within the next 3-4 months, speak to a HCP and see what he/she thinks.

On missing ends of words - my DS started out with v simple one-syllable word sounds like the examples I gave above. He has progressed over the course of a couple of months and are now generally much clearer - for example 'car' and 'cat' used to sound the same but he now pronounces the R and the T very well.

My baby is a similar age. He can attempt about 50 words (although a stranger would struggle to discern more than about ten) but I'd say 70% of these are from the last 6 weeks, whereas another little boy the same age in nursery only really says no. They're all different, I don't think you have anything to worry about.

If he can follow instructions then he must have good comprehension. He sounds fine

Thanks all for your reassurance. It's so hard not to worry. I'm sure he's fine. I know he's getting frustrated at not speaking and tbh, I am too when I cant guess what he needs. Keeping me on my toes!

Some sounds are the last to be mastered. Think Y for yellow and Rrrr
in roar.
So an average child doesn't master those till at least 4. Average is very wide as well.

I still tell my much older DC to use their words to tell me what they want.
Try not to anticipate his every move,
Put things slightly out of reach and feign a little ignorance.

My DBro didn't speak a word until age 4.5 His first words were
xx hit me (xx being my Sis name). Upon being asked she denied it and said he can't talk.

DS is 3 now but he was slow to talk - people often described him as 'a thinker'. My mum always maintained he could speak perfectly well but chose not to until he was really sure of himself and lo and behold around 18-20 months he went almost straight into full sentences. Now of course he is the biggest chatterbox ever and my whole life is narrated to me as we walk along.

Definitely good to get things checked particularly if there's a concern about hearing but I hope you are soon similarly overwhelmed with chatter.